What would you do in this situation, happening right now

Quote:
or dried beans (big ones - like lima beans and kidney beans) - I have them in old butter tubs and we have scoops and cups we like to dump/pour/ etc them in - all over the place! hehe

We try and live consensually... I do not use force or punishments or bribes or coercion - etc (and at the end of the day, you cant make anyone do anything without such tactics)... If I want something cleaned up, I clean it up. My son is pretty OCD like me, so he is a pretty tidy kid despite his young age. But I look after other children as well who are not as tidy and have no interest in being so. So I say - if you want it done, do it! If I want somethin cleaned up, I do it. If my son helps - great! If he doesn't ...his choice! Who wanted it done in the first place? (usually me...so get off my bum and do it! - This also models something to our children I feel!) Now, I have heard people on here say 'well I don't want to play maid all day long' ...but perhaps our children don't want to play slave all day long either (childs point of view: You want it done mum, so you do it!). Your son is young. He will learn by you modeling. I say - clean more (just to emphasise hehe)! I am always cleaning. The bathroom, dusting the living room, doing the laundry, I always wash the dishes after we have eaten...etc. My DS sees me clean and tidy and organise a lot. Its part of our life! ...including his. If he just was not a tidy person ( possible to happen - I am married to my DH after all hehe)...then I would work around that. I dont mind cleaning if I want something cleaned (I am a get it one if it needs doing - dont hold off another day kind of girl!). If I feel I need a break, I lower my standards or find a consensual solution around it. At this age, prevention is a pretty good solution. Not that is should matter what I think, but I think you handled that pretty well!

Quote:
I agree with her. I think consistency and practice are key, though. My 17-month-old associates the "Clean Up" song with cleaning up time, so whenever I want her to help clean up, I clean up and sing the song the whole time I'm cleaning. The learning is very gradual. A month ago, she sang along and watched me clean up. Now, she sings and puts about 3 toys away while I do the rest. It's progress. Eventually, she'll hopefully do it all herself (or with the help of big sister )

So, to answer your question, I think I would have sung the "Clean Up" song while cleaning up the chips myself (very rapidly of course).

:

Quote:
Well, my first comment is that I've never understood why parents say, "No thank you" when that's not what they reall mean. To me, it always seems to give a very ambiguous message. That's what we say when someone offers us something, and offering things is usually a generous thing that we appreciate, so why use that phrase when a child has done something you don't want him to do? I think it can be confusing for kids. If what you want to say is that it's not okay to spill chips or please don't dump food on the floor, then say that! (Sorry, got a little sidetracked on this issue!)

Other than that, I think, yeah, you have to clean it up. I think you did help it become kind of a game for him. Once he started stomping on the chips, I'd have moved him to a spot (pack and play, high chair, other side of a gate, his room) where he wouldn't be making the mess worse and getting fun out of it. It wouldn't be a punitive thing - just practical - if he can't keep from stepping on them, then he needs to go somewhere else so you can clean it up.

I think your response was completely appropriate. My DS will be 20 months at the end of this month and will occasionally help me put stuff back that he has torn down/thrown/broken when I ask and he has limited verbal (expressive) skills so IMO its not too much to ask. And I don't DEMAND that he clean it up. I ask, encourage, model how we clean it up and if he doesn't or makes it worse I move him and clean it up but don't make a big deal out of it because A) He's so young B) If I get worked up about it, he is much more likely to shut down and stop listening anyway. I think it just takes practice for them to understand messes, and that they have to clean them up if they create them, because they are just testing physics and are like "Woo! Isn't it cool to pour chips out and watch them fall and then crunch them under my foot! It's the best." and don't realize chips can stain the carpet, its not fun to step on crumbs, or when you pour chips on the floor you can't eat them (after 5 min of course) .