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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi,

I found out Tuesday that our baby has passed away. I am 15 weeks and still pregnant but the baby passed in the last week. I went to the Drs and he said my cervix ix long and thick. He wanted me to have a D&E. I am really uncomfortable, crampy, having signs of labor. Would you call and tell the Dr or just wait and see. The procedure is scheduled for Wed AM and I am really apprehensive about it. Thanks if you read this and please respond if you can.

Take care,
 

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I am so sorry.

I just m/c'ed at 15 weeks. I miscarried at home, went to the hospital a week later, and ultimately did not need a D&C or D&E. At the hospital a week later they said my cervix was "still long."

I do think it is something you need to follow your heart as a PP said. Some people like to get it all over with, others find it upsetting. Hang in there.
 

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I have now m/c both at home and with a D&C. The one I had at home was a lot easier and I got to say goodbye. I did have the help of cytoteck, and I could not believe how painless the whole thing was. Not a crunchy thing to say but, I can tell you it gets a bit more complicated the further you are along. I was 8 weeks along and had the baby in a hotel room that was close to the hospital. Too much bleeding and infection are the two biggies to look out for. Things I'd consider is how far do you live from a hospital? It's a tough one to figure because really it's just what you wanted to happen.
 

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Oh and on the cervix- I'm used to checking my own and was frequently around my m/c. It *never* dilated or shortened significantly (except perhaps in the 2 hours I was actually m/cing- I didn't check then.)

-Angela
 

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I'm so sorry you keep having to wait. I was given a choice of having labor induced or having a D&E when I lost my baby at 19 weeks. I decided to have the D&E because I wasn't sure I could go through labor and push out my baby knowing she wasn't alive. It wasn't an easy decision, and there is no right or wrong answer here.
From the perspective of someone who did have a D&E, I was scared of the surgery, and it was horrible and desperately sad to go to the hospital to have it. But I was asleep for the surgery, and they gave me a sedative right before I went into the O.R., so it wasn't painful. Afterwards I woke up sad, but the pain wasn't too bad...really it was not as hard physically as I imagined it would be. Waiting for the surgery was the hardest part.
 

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I'm so sorry for your loss.
I think the bottom line - unless it becomes a health emergency - is whether it is really important to you to see your baby in order to say goodbye.
I hope that whatever you choose, it goes as gently and speedily as possible.
 

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I am so sorry for your loss.

My first loss we found out at 16 weeks the baby had died, it happened sometime between 14-16 weeks. I did not want a d&e so I choose to wait. 2 weeks went by with nothing at all happening so we had to rediscuss options. I choose cytotec at the time to induce labor. I ended up birthing my baby at home in one of the most beautiful birth experiences I have ever had. It was so loving and peaceful and for me made it a little easier to accept.

There is no right awnser, but if you are not 100% sure then please wait until you do know what is right for you
 

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I would wait and see. If you are cramping my guess is that you will have the baby on your own without intervention. my body did. JME. It was obvious the fetus died weeks before. It may take a couple weeks, if you can hande it.
 

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I'm so sorry. I have been where you are.

I chose to wait and wait...and then I waited some more. It took my body 5 weeks after I found out we had lost our baby to actually miscarry. On top of that...the miscarriage was 10 weeks after our baby had died. He died around 12 wks, I m/c at 21 wks. I had a supportive midwife who monitored me closely for infection or problems. I did try to herbally induce but my body wasn't ready.

I'm glad we waited. I was ready when labor (and it was labor) happened. My husband was able to experience the birth with me. And we were able to hold our son before we buried him.

It is a hard choice and it is difficult to find support to wait. Whatever you choose, may you find peace.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by alegna View Post
It is such an individual decision.

*Personally* though I would wait to m/c on my own if there were no signs of infection.

a d&e (or d&c) carries real risks for the future.

-Angela
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You're in my thoughts!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by taradt View Post
I am so sorry for your loss.

My first loss we found out at 16 weeks the baby had died, it happened sometime between 14-16 weeks. I did not want a d&e so I choose to wait. 2 weeks went by with nothing at all happening so we had to rediscuss options. I choose cytotec at the time to induce labor. I ended up birthing my baby at home in one of the most beautiful birth experiences I have ever had. It was so loving and peaceful and for me made it a little easier to accept.

There is no right awnser, but if you are not 100% sure then please wait until you do know what is right for you

I'm glad you felt it was a beautiful experience.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by iamthesmilingone View Post
I'm so sorry


Have you had the chance to express your concerns to your dr? How are you doing now?



I spoke to him on Monday he thinks that if I try to deliver the baby, I could hemmorage and lose my uterus. He also thinks it would be terrible emotionally. I did tell him that I am really nervouse about the D&E but he tells me that there is no other way to do this. I am really nervous!

Take care,
 

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I had a m/c earlier this year. I was somewhere between 12 and 14 weeks. I chose to wait it out at home. My experience echoed Alegna's in that my cervix stayed long and thick except for the two to three hours I was miscarrying.

I would wait it out on my own if I were you. But you have to do what you feel comfortable with. Listen to your instincts Mama.

There are real risks with a D&E and D&C. One of my good friends had a D&E last year for a M/C. She has not been able to get pregnant since. The fertility specialist told her that the wall of her uterus was scarred during the procedure and that is why she is unable to conceive. Her story is what prompted me to stay at home and m/c naturally.

I am so very sorry for your loss.
 
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