[lactivist]

Well I just typed this all up and the server was busy so it didn't post!

Here goes! I am 37 and have three kids 14, 8, and 17 months. I would really like to have another baby and don't really want to do it much after 40 for personal reasons. My dilemma is this: I want my next baby to be much closer in age than the others have been. It took me more than 4 years to get pregnant with the last two children. My 17 month old is very high needs, very active and nurses a lot. My last two pregancies were really hard and I was exhausted and nearly crippled from pubic symphisis pain. I would love to have a baby when my son is around 3 but I just can't predict how long it will take to get pregnant. I am concerned that with another hard pregnancy I would be cheating my ds out of me and my time and energy. So what would you do? Would you just start trying now and hope that it happens at the right time or would you wait and try to plan it more perfectly risking that it could be another long separation between kids? I would love some input on this matter. I could use a fresh perspective. Thanks so much!
Wendi

 

[momto l&a]

I'd personally start 'trying' now and if it happened then great if not so be it.

 

[mama2toomany]

I would try now and try not to stress... things usually work out so much better when you don't stress!!!

 

[Ruthla]

In your shoes, I think I wouldn't officially "try to conceive" but I'd stop "trying not to conceive" and leave it up to a higher power.

 

[Penelope]

ITA. Given that it took a while before, I would stop using b/c, stop drinking, etc. and eat really well, and track my cycles. And then let what happens, happen. (Although I gotta say, with two older kids and a high-needs 17mo, if any happening is happening, if you know what I mean, more power to ya.

)

 

[Marsupialmom]

I agree with Ruthla

 

[PuppyFluffer]

If I in your situation, and certain that I wanted another child...I'd start TTC now.

I'd also get a good chiropractor to work on my back and hips to sort out the pubic symphisis pain before it became crippling. I just has my first appt today with a chiropractor who had 9 children, so she's someone who has personal experience with the discomforts of pregnancy! I am 29 weeks preg and I do feel much better after my visit with her!

 

[weliveintheforest]

Is there any known reason it took so long to concieve your last 2 dc? I don't know your situation, but it might help to chart and get a really good idea of when you are fertile. That way you could wait a little bit longer to TTC but hopefully not take as long to concieve.

 

[lactivist]

Thanks to all who have responded so far. I really appreciate your input. About the pubic pain, I was going to a really good chiro and that was the only thing that kept me up and moving throughout my pregnancy. I know it doesn't necessarily mean I will have that same symptom again but it is a concern with a very busy toddler. As for charting, I am not charing right now but I was for the entire four years that I was trying with my last baby. I did get pregnant several times and had losses so it wasn't just getting pregnant that was the problem but also staying pregnant. I had many many months with perfectly timed sex but no conception. I honestly don't know why it could have been my hubby's problem but he wasn't volunteering to get anything checked so I don't know. I did stop trying to prevent last month and then got freaked out about getting pregnant right away and have been debating with myself ever since. So yes the "don't stress" advice is certainly on point. I am a bit of a control freak (could you guess?) and just letting things happen is certainly something I need to work on. I don't drink so that isn't an issue. I am always trying to take better care of myself, eat well and be as healthy as possible. I am just really worried about cutting my toddler short. I nursed my other son until he was six and I have no plans of weaning my toddler but nursing through pregnancy doesn't sound fun. I guess like most of parenting it just becomes a matter of letting things happen and realizing I can't control everything. I really appreciate the support.
Wendi

 

[Irishmommy]

Please post in Fertility.