[brandimn6217]

You and your hubby are able to go on a 5 day trip to Vegas (during which he has to work) paid for by his work and the trip will happen either on your birthday or your anniversay. Bear in mind that you got married in Vegas (and never got to celebrate your wedding night) so it would be pretty romantic. Here's the catch: he wants you to leave your 12 mo old at home? Your baby is still nursing, really attached and won't sleep anywhere but his own crib. In addition, there is conflict between the two of you as to who should watch the baby. So what would you do?<br><br><br>
I know that this doesn't seem like a bfing beyond infancy issue BUT after being gone for 5 days, my son will probably be weaned (in a very emotionally damaging way, might I add!) esp since he really only nurses in the mornings now and neither of us (well, mostly me) is ready for that.

 

[mhr1406]

Is there any way that you can bring a sitter along on the trip and have them stay in a different room close by. That way you and your dh can have some romantic time and you will be close enough to your ds will be close enough that if he wants to bf he can.<br><br>
Good luck. It sounds like a great trip but I totally understand not wanting to be away from your child for 5 days <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">

 

[brandimn6217]

Well the thing is that the company he works for is paying for the trip, hotel room etc. It is WAY beyond our means to pay for another room (esp since the Rio is all suites). Ther is no way to postpone or adjust. For some reason, he is SET on not bringing Dylan He feels like he would have to ask if Dylan could stay in his room in addition to me and that the co. has made a lot of concession to allow me to go. We even got in a fight about it this morning bc he doesn't understand my hesitation.

 

[momuveight2B]

I would go and bring the baby with me.

 

[ulla]

I would go on the trip. This is a one-time opportunity. And clearly it means a lot to your husband to spend some quality time alone with you. Having a baby in tow is a real romance killer. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
I left all of my children with my folks for varying times, sometime longer than a week, when they were babies and they loved it. It didn't cause any of them to wean. We just resumed nursing like I had never been gone.<br><br>
Build up a stash of breast milk for him to drink while you're away and you can pump and dump at the hotel. Babies are very resilient. Your son will be fine with the grandmother, I assume. You are not abandoning him. He'll be loved and cared for and probably treated like a little prince while you're gone.

 

[brandimn6217]

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ulla</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7923319"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I would go on the trip. This is a one-time opportunity. And clearly it means a lot to your husband to spend some quality time alone with you. Having a baby in tow is a real romance killer. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
I left all of my children with my folks for varying times, sometime longer than a week, when they were babies and they loved it. It didn't cause any of them to wean. We just resumed nursing like I had never been gone.<br><br>
Build up a stash of breast milk for him to drink while you're away and you can pump and dump at the hotel. Babies are very resilient. Your son will be fine with the grandmother, I assume. You are not abandoning him. He'll be loved and cared for and probably treated like a little prince while you're gone.</div>
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I don't even own a pump bc my son has never had milk from anything but breast. And I'm sorry but he is just barely nursing for 10 minutes in the morning and that's it. Being gone for 5 days will probaby end with weaning.

 

[Clarinet]

Leave a nursing 12 month old? Not me. No way. Especially since you say that will more than likely cause complete weaning. I would postpone the trip for at least a year or take the baby.<br><br>
ETA: I just re-read your second post and since you can't postpone, I would take the baby. It sounds like a great trip but to me, nursing for at least two years is more important than a free vacation. I will say, though, that my husband would agree with yours.

 

[ulla]

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>brandimn6217</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7923583"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I don't even own a pump bc my son has never had milk from anything but breast. And I'm sorry but he is just barely nursing for 10 minutes in the morning and that's it. Being gone for 5 days will probably end with weaning.</div>
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You can always rent a pump for a couple of weeks or just hand express milk to keep up your supply.<br><br>
If you son is only 12 months old and barely nursing for ten minutes a day are you giving him formula or cow's milk with a lot of solid food? If you've already cut back the nursing to practically nothing, weaning probably won't make much difference to his overall health and well-being. I doubt there's much nutritional or health benefit to just one quick sip a day. If that's the reality of your situation, then maybe this trip is a good opportunity to wean you from him.<br><br>
Are you sure this is not just a nursing strike? Lot's of babies temporarily slow down nursing at this age. The nursing then picks up as they gear up for another growth spurt. if you keep up your supply, he'll be fine and regain interest in nursing at his own pace.<br><br>
It seems like a shame to me to pass up a fabulous opportunity when you can take steps to prevent weaning.

 

[alegna]

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>brandimn6217</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7923583"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I don't even own a pump bc my son has never had milk from anything but breast. And I'm sorry but he is just barely nursing for 10 minutes in the morning and that's it. Being gone for 5 days will probaby end with weaning.</div>
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Total aside, but only one nursing session a day isn't near enough for a 12 month old. Better than half his nutrition should still be from breastmilk.<br><br>
-Angela

 

[brandimn6217]

I think I am going to convince my hubby to take D along. I have some... extended extended family (my aunt's husband's bro and sil and their cousin... long connection but all the same) that live in Vegas and have invited us to stay with them. If my hubby doesn't feel comfortable asking if he can bring Dylan as well, maybe I'll just go stay with them. I want to go but I don't feel like I can leave Dylan right now. I don't know that he is weaning or not for sure... and I am planning on letting him wean himself so we'll see. This will either be the situation that works or else I guess I just won't go. Thanks for the advice everyone!

 

[brandimn6217]

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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>alegna</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7924082"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Total aside, but only one nursing session a day isn't near enough for a 12 month old. Better than half his nutrition should still be from breastmilk.<br><br>
-Angela</div>
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Angela- I totally agree! I am NOT trying to wean him. He just won't nurse more than that. He's a REALLY active kid and can't sit still for it, nor does he want to. When I offer to nurse during the day, he will nurse for about 1-2 minutes before he bites the (insert nasty word of choice here) out of my nipple. And he will only nurse on one side.

 

[~Megan~]

Will he nurse at night when he's sleepy? Its really important for his immunity and for his continued nutrition for him to receive mama milk for at least another year.<br><br>
I'd definitely work on getting him to the breast more often.<br><br>
As a mother of a very active child I understand. Ds does lots of quick nurses during the day and longer ones at nap and in the evening before bed.

 

[brandimn6217]

Very rarely will he nurse before bed. I think I'm going to work on building up my supply again. Maybe that's the problem!

 

[alegna]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>brandimn6217</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7924138"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Angela- I totally agree! I am NOT trying to wean him. He just won't nurse more than that. He's a REALLY active kid and can't sit still for it, nor does he want to. When I offer to nurse during the day, he will nurse for about 1-2 minutes before he bites the (insert nasty word of choice here) out of my nipple. And he will only nurse on one side.</div>
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A few nursing strike tips:<br><br>
No other sucking- no bottles, pacifiers or sippy cups.<br><br>
No other milk (or juice- just water)<br><br>
No spoon feeding solids- let him self feed.<br><br>
Co-sleep and encourage nursing at night.<br><br>
good luck!<br><br>
-Angela

 

[msumomma]

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<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>brandimn6217</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7922515"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">You and your hubby are able to go on a 5 day trip to Vegas (during which he has to work) paid for by his work and the trip will happen either on your birthday or your anniversay. Bear in mind that you got married in Vegas (and never got to celebrate your wedding night) so it would be pretty romantic. Here's the catch: he wants you to leave your 12 mo old at home? Your baby is still nursing, really attached and won't sleep anywhere but his own crib. In addition, there is conflict between the two of you as to who should watch the baby. So what would you do?<br><br><br>
I know that this doesn't seem like a bfing beyond infancy issue BUT after being gone for 5 days, my son will probably be weaned (in a very emotionally damaging way, might I add!) esp since he really only nurses in the mornings now and neither of us (well, mostly me) is ready for that.</div>
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<br>
I could have written your whole post (yep I even got married in Vegas too!) except my dd was I think 15 months when the opp came up.<br>
What did I do???<br>
I didn't go. Dh went alone, and I stayed home with our dd. She wasn't ready to be away from me, I wasn't ready to leave her, I didn't want to risk weaning or risk our bf relationship at all. So I didn't go. Do I regret it? Nope!<br>
Would I have regretted it if I went and my dd wouldn't nurse anymore when I came home, yes. For me, it was a risk I wasn't willing to take. My dh and I can go to Vegas alone soon enough.<br>
Good luck with your decision.

 

[brandimn6217]

<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>msumomma</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7924777"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I could have written your whole post (yep I even got married in Vegas too!) except my dd was I think 15 months when the opp came up.<br>
What did I do???<br>
I didn't go. Dh went alone, and I stayed home with our dd. She wasn't ready to be away from me, I wasn't ready to leave her, I didn't want to risk weaning or risk our bf relationship at all. So I didn't go. Do I regret it? Nope!<br>
Would I have regretted it if I went and my dd wouldn't nurse anymore when I came home, yes. For me, it was a risk I wasn't willing to take. My dh and I can go to Vegas alone soon enough.<br>
Good luck with your decision.</div>
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OH MY GOSH! You are my twin! Want to be my friend?? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/loveeyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Loveeyes">: <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink">

 

[A&A]

I'd miss my baby WAY too much. They grow up too fast!!!

 

[momuveight2B]

Just want to add that baby needs mama as much as he needs breastfeeding. My older children have a hard time being away from home for five days so I wouldn't expect it from a baby.<br>
We did take youngest dd with us to Vegas when she was eight months old. We had a wonderful time together and it didn't cramp our love life at all!

 

[mothragirl]

i would not leave a baby that young. your husband is being selfish.

 

[angelachristine]

I just posted a similar question, except my baby is going to be 16 months when I'm gone. I'm going on the trip because I'm finally going to do something for me. When I get back we'll be TTC again, and I need to have some "me" time, especially since I plan to be bfing or pregnant for the next few years.<br><br>
DD is 11 months old and still nursing 6-8 times a day on weekends or 4-6 (with 2 bottles of bm) during the week. She also only nurses for a few minutes from one side during the day, but makes up for it at night.<br><br>
I honestly don't know what I'd do in your situation. I think you're right that going could mean weaning him... I like the other poster's suggestion to try to build up your supply and see if you can get him to start nursing more.<br><br>
When would you be going on the trip? Do you have time to rebuild your supply and then re-evaluate how ds would do if/when you left?