I went to lunch with my mother and my two year old. Now, normally dd doesnt ask to nurse when we are out and about because she is busy seeing the sights or whatever. However, it was also naptime and she isnt comfortable around strangers. She mostly played with her food, then she asked for "bop-bop". My mother pretty much ORDERED me not too (I think her exact words were, "dont you DARE").
The only thing that kept it from becoming a big deal was that we were pretty much done anyway so I picked dd up and headed for the car. Now, imo, my mom was making a bigger scene than dd would have by nursing. My mother is so @#$ worried about what people will think. Why does she care what total strangers, whom she'll never see again, think? How ridiculous is it to worry about someone who means nothing to me, who has nothing to do with my life and not worry about my childs needs?! Besides, its likely that most people would not have even noticed.
I posted this here because its only the two year old that makes her uncomfortable. Had it been the baby, she would have been fine with it. (He was at home with my fil and a bottle of expressed milk).
Its got me all riled up thinking about WHY our culture seems to think two is grown and not still a baby. My mom says I "forced dd out of the nest" by having ds, yet she, not I, is the one pushing for weaning, pushing for potty training, basically trying to push her towards independance. Shes only two. Why do we think two is not a baby still?
DD is not a good eater (which my mom blames on bf), but she does want whatever the baby has and so now that he has started eating baby rice cereal, she has gone back to it with gusto, which is fine with me, her doc even says its fine, full or iron, highly digestable etc. But after months of my mother badgering me about her eating, when she sees her eating GOOD, she makes FUN OF HER for sitting in the babys chair and getting her pawpaw to feed it to her (basically called her a baby or whatever, which we call her baby in a good way, but you know she understands the tone/intent if not the exact meaning) so of course, she stops eating. Which so defeats the purpose. I guess she wasnt eating RIGHT. Ok, she did realize and apologize immediatley, not just to me but to dd. Still.
I love my mom, she loves dd and dd loves her but Im worried shes going to damage her psychologically by saying things to/in front of her about her being too big to bf or about what she should/shouldnt be doing. FIL live with us and is thier caregiver while dh and I work and I know he loves the help on days when my mom comes over and dd loves the individual attention, so I dont want to dump the realtionship but.........
What would you do?
The only thing that kept it from becoming a big deal was that we were pretty much done anyway so I picked dd up and headed for the car. Now, imo, my mom was making a bigger scene than dd would have by nursing. My mother is so @#$ worried about what people will think. Why does she care what total strangers, whom she'll never see again, think? How ridiculous is it to worry about someone who means nothing to me, who has nothing to do with my life and not worry about my childs needs?! Besides, its likely that most people would not have even noticed.
I posted this here because its only the two year old that makes her uncomfortable. Had it been the baby, she would have been fine with it. (He was at home with my fil and a bottle of expressed milk).
Its got me all riled up thinking about WHY our culture seems to think two is grown and not still a baby. My mom says I "forced dd out of the nest" by having ds, yet she, not I, is the one pushing for weaning, pushing for potty training, basically trying to push her towards independance. Shes only two. Why do we think two is not a baby still?
DD is not a good eater (which my mom blames on bf), but she does want whatever the baby has and so now that he has started eating baby rice cereal, she has gone back to it with gusto, which is fine with me, her doc even says its fine, full or iron, highly digestable etc. But after months of my mother badgering me about her eating, when she sees her eating GOOD, she makes FUN OF HER for sitting in the babys chair and getting her pawpaw to feed it to her (basically called her a baby or whatever, which we call her baby in a good way, but you know she understands the tone/intent if not the exact meaning) so of course, she stops eating. Which so defeats the purpose. I guess she wasnt eating RIGHT. Ok, she did realize and apologize immediatley, not just to me but to dd. Still.
I love my mom, she loves dd and dd loves her but Im worried shes going to damage her psychologically by saying things to/in front of her about her being too big to bf or about what she should/shouldnt be doing. FIL live with us and is thier caregiver while dh and I work and I know he loves the help on days when my mom comes over and dd loves the individual attention, so I dont want to dump the realtionship but.........
What would you do?