Mothering Forum banner

1 - 9 of 9 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,308 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
A new friend of mine was telling me the other day that they use "the CIO method" that the pediatrician recommended (it seems strange to me to consider this a "method," rather than just saying that they let the baby cry unconsoled, but that's a separate issue). She is fairly AP, but they have not been happy cosleeping. The ped told her to let the baby cry for five minutes every time she wakes up, before going to her. She said it worked great. Fine. I can't argue with folks that sing the praises of CIO for getting the baby to sleep; clearly it often works. I disagree with it, but that's because my priorities are not to get the baby to sleep without me and for as long as possible, but to be as sensitive to his needs and perspective as I can, and to introduce him to the larger world in as gentle a way as possible.<br><br>
Here's the thing. She said "the ped said that babies over 6 months don't need to nurse at night. I didn't know that." Before I even caught myself (remember, I don't know this woman very well) I said "Well, I disagree with that." Then I soft-peddled it by saying that if she was having doubts about that, there are certainly other theories out there. I am worried that I spoke out of my business, you know?<br><br>
I also got to thinking more about that statement, though. Where the heck do peds get this stuff? How can someone who is burning so many calories, with such a small stomach, be expected to fast routinely for 12 hours? That seems crazy. I know it makes a difference with whether they are exclusively bf or not, but still, I wouldn't think a jar of pears would add that much more than bf. What do you all think?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,963 Posts
I actually agree. I don't think a 6 month old NEEDS to nurse at night, at least not for proper physical growth. Do they need help being soothed back to sleep at night? Yes. Do they have emotional needs that can be met by nursing? Yes. Do they need to be taught to sleep through the night? If that's a parent's goal, yes. But it certainly doesn't have to involve CIO. Unfortunately even many "crunchier" pediatricians only know of sleep-training that uses CIO, so that's what they recommend.<br>
I think I'd have responded something like, "Oh, it's too bad the pediatrician didn't recommend the No Cry Sleep Solution"...or "too bad the pediatrician is still recommending that out-dated cry-it-out method since it's rather harmful for the baby".
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,308 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
But based on what? I mean, how do they determine how often a 6 month old NEEDS to eat? I am hypoglycemic. I NEED to eat very often, and certain things. Sometimes I wake up hungry, and ignore it because I don't want to get out of bed, but that doesn't mean that my body shouldn't eat. Yes, I will survive not eating, as does any 6 mo who is deprived of it, but how do we say that they are just asking for love, and not actually food? Are there good studies on this?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
483 Posts
I think that you gave a good response. You opened the door for her if she was doubting herself or her ped. She can ask for more help or advice, do more research or find a new doc. My guess is she will justify her behavior with what her "doctor" told her. I find myself so frustrated with the "doctors" giving parenting advice... and bad parenting advice at that. A woman in my play group said her ped (who is also my ped) gave her a lecture for NOT letting her child CIO. I've never had a problem, but I don't ask for advice on non-medical things at the dr office... Another ped. told my friend to turn her DD forward facing in her carseat at 20# and 11 months which is such very bad dangerous advice, I'm still so angry about this one I haven't cooled off enough to go drop off child passenger safety stuff at her office...<br><br>
So frustrating to hear about these things. I KNOW without a doubt that my DD was still hungry at night until 10 months and she still is sometimes now, so to say they aren't hungry at 6 months is ludicrous.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,826 Posts
Well, apart from the food issue, I think nursing is AS MUCH about comfort as nutrition. So even if it's technically true (which I doubt) that 6-mo-olds don't "need" to eat during the night (whatever that means), that doesn't address their comfort needs, need to make sure mama's still there, etc.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
748 Posts
I think you did the right thing by giving her the option to doubt her ped. You did better than I do. When I hear a parent talk about using CIO, I get angry and I tell them what I think. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/duh.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="duh"> I know it's not good to do, but if they're putting their business out there in front of me, they're sort of asking for an opinion. Seriously, though, it's hard to restrain myself from calling them selfish *&&$#@^%. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/soapbox.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="soapbox">
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,396 Posts
I have heard friends get the "doesn't need to eat at night" advice, and I point out that sometimes I happen to wake up and realize I'm thirsty, and nursing is just as much for hydration as it is for food and comfort. So I will not deny nursing for that reason. I simply don't know which it is, and I would hate to be wrong and prolong our time awake by making my child uncomfortable. Some nights my daughter takes a quick sip and rolls over and is out again, and I find those are nights where I find myself also drinking water because the air is dry. Some nights she really chows, and I can't help but think she must have needed that. I think that issue can be presented as one of those "put yourself in the baby's place" scenarios. Most people would be shocked and offended to imagine not being able to meet one of their own nighttime needs because someone else decided when they were allowed to have them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
313 Posts
I could never let my children cry themselves to sleep. I honestly don't care if it works, I don't think it's right. Why put them through such an emotional damaging experience just to get them to fall asleep? A really good friend of mine had her dd a month before I had my ds and she made a comment when her baby was 5 wks old that her ped. told her to not let the baby sleep with them anymore and to let her start crying herself to sleep. It was ok to wake up in the night to feed her but then to put her down before she fell asleep while nursing so she would learn to put herself back to sleep. What the hell? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hopmad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hopping mad"> I was so upset I kinda lost it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/censored.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="censored"> After I calmed down I asked her how it made her feel to hear her tiny baby scream herself hysterical until finally exhausted she would fall asleep. But she said it worked and it must be ok since the dr. told her to do it. Why do dr's think this is okay and has no long lasting effects on children. I just don't get it. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,308 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
On another thread, a mama said "I just wonder how a child that is treated like that will treat my children when they are adults." I am having so much fun right now finding out what Wallace knows by asking him to get things and point to things, even though he isn't using words yet. How can a ped say there are no lasting effects from doing certain things at this age? Ds won't remember that he was finding the potty or the ball or the sprouts at 11 months, but it is groundwork. I have to assume everything else is, too, you know.<br><br>
BTW - it's my ped too, but we don't do WBV so we don't really know her.
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Top