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DH and I are planning on TTC starting in about 5 months when we will have some financial issues under control (dss #2 will not be in daycare as of then, long story, basically dss's mom wanted him in daycare and not at home with me) and we will have almost 1 year of marriage under our belts. my son will be 6.5 years old and dss #1 will be 5.5 and dss #2 will be almost 7.5 years old. so what i am wondering is; whats it like? to have the first baby in a newly blended family of older siblings? i anticipate all sorts of issues surrounding the past divorce and kids feeling left out, and the usual sibling rivalry and feeling like the baby gets all the attention.<br><br>
how can we make the whole thing, G-od willing, as easy and fun as possible for everyone involved? also I plan on homebirthing and dont really think I would feel comfortable with my kids there, maybe i would with my son but he is sensitive and i think would be scared. and with my step sons i just dont feel comfortable being naked in front of them or feel like they would want to be there. so what do we do about all that? i know we are not even pregnant yet but i just want to research this some more before diving in.
 

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It's been good for us. The baby has united the kids in some ways, but my kids are a bit older, too. They do still fight for his attention.<br><br>
I had a home birth with ds, and I asked my dd if she wanted to be here (dss was still living in England at the time). She didn't feel comfortable being here, so we made arrangements for her to go to her friend's house down the street.<br><br>
Dh and I were just saying it might have been more difficult if we'd each had more than one dc coming in to the marriage.<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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Having a baby has really united our little family. As weird as it sounds, it gives everyone a reason for being here. Before DS was born, I was really just this person hanging around DSD's dad. Now that I am a bio parent, she sees me more as a mama than as a female adult.<br><br>
Watching the two kids interact really warms my heart. It is so obvious that they are siblings. He's only 9 months, but he knows that she is his sister. His face lights up when he sees her. He already follows her around. She delights in being the big sister. She can make DS laugh like no one else. I had portraits taken of the two of them last week, and they are absolutely adorable.<br><br>
I think that part of the key to our success was that DSD was old enough to avoid sibling rivalry. She was 4 when DS was born, and she immediately assumed the proud big sister role. I don't recall a single issue with jealousy.
 

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I agree with much of what Pink said. My Ds is 1 and DSS is 4. When DS was a baby DSS was very jealous, i think mostly because I was not giving him as much attention. He would ask me if I could put the baby back in my stomach. I told him I did not want the baby back in my stomach because did he remember how sick I was? I then asked him if maybe it would be better if we mailed his brother away or took him to the zoo and left him with the monkey's we would get very elaborarte with out plans to get rid of his pesky little brother and use this situation to talk to him about how he was feeling: jealous, hurt ect... One day I told him I was going to take his brother to the zoo b/c he was driving me crazy and he said no you can't do that he is my brother. Now they get along really well. They really love spending time with each other. they definitly love each other. This started when the youngest started crawling.
 

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For us, it really made my dd feel more part of the family. She's 12 and she burst into tears when I told her the ds (now three months old) was on the way. We had lots of time to talk and she came around to looking forward to the baby coming--and when he came, he stole her heart. She is crazy about him and he laughs and coos and smiles when she comes home . Before he was born, she felt like an outsider to me and her sd--now she feels like part of the family. The baby created a new bond that brings all of us together. Hope your family has a similar experience!
 

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<div style="font-style:italic;">She's 12 and she burst into tears when I told her the ds (now three months old) was on the way. We had lots of time to talk and she came around to looking forward to the baby coming--and when he came, he stole her heart.</div>
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Dd and Dss had the same reactions here.
 

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Our experience was very positive as well. My SD was 7 when my son was born and she loves him so much.<br>
One thing that I thought was so wonderful was that quite a few people brought "big sister gifts" for her when we had baby showers. It was great that people thought of her and I think it really helped her to be excited about her new role in life.<br>
We did worry about her before hand though because her mom also had a baby around the same time as us, so my SD had a lot of changes in her life all at once. But she has adjusted so well, and LOVES being a big sister!<br>
I also think it helps that both sets of parents make sure to spend time with her without her siblings sometimes. She spent 7 years of her life as an only child, so we felt it was important to continue to give her some one on one time.<br>
Good luck, arismama! Having a baby is such a wonderful experience, and I think your excitement and happy feelings will help all of your kids adjust to the coming addition!
 

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Oh, we had a big sister shower, too! Dss was not living in the US at the time, so he missed out on the pre-baby celebrations. The shower was nice, though. All the girls were already big sisters, and I gave them a little questionnare -- best and worst about being a sister, etc.-- to answer while they were eating lunch.
 
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