What's so hard about 3-year-old?

I wouldn't say 3 was bad for my DD. Overall, she steadily got easier as she got older. The one thing I remember about 3 was that that was the age where I sometimes began to get angry at her for behavior, rather than just frustrated about the situation without blaming her for it. When she was 18 months and cried because I went upstairs for a minute without her, I didn't like it, but I didn't expect anything different from her. When she did the same thing as a 3 year old, I had a hard time being as tolerant.

Now my DS is 3, and I'm finding that he does seem to be more difficult in some ways than when he was 2 (and more difficult than DD was at the same age.) He seems more likely to freak out over small things. Sometimes when he doesn't get what he wants, he immediately starts in with yelling or crying that strikes me as way more intense than what he would have done when he was 2. Some of it may just be that now he's older I'm a little less inclined to cater to all his whims, but I don't think that's the only thing that's going on.

though i'm sure there is huge variation in kids, this was true for my family. my guys both became very intense right around the 3 year mark - mostly wanting to be in control, not listening, or wanting me to do things the way they wanted (without explaining it ). this resulted in tantrums galore. to me, these changes felt like they happened overnight.

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This describes my experience exactly. Yesterday we were at the grocery store-- something she does with me often, and we usually have a lovely time shopping together. This time she wanted to poke the meat. I turned around and she was pressing her little fingers into the shrink wrap over all the raw meat packages. After several rounds of "I ned you to stand beside me, please keep your hands to yourself, raw meat has icky germs, if they break we'll have to pay for them all" I tried, with one hand, to bag the single package of cicken that we needed- while using the other hand to physically hold her away from the meat (she kept laughing and lunging). I then had to carry her and the basket through the store, didn't get half the things I needed, to be faced with wailing "I forgot to get a lollipop!" after we finally made it to the car. I will admit that something, very briefly, snapped in me as I pulled her away from that stinking meat for the 3rd time while she laughed. (and seriously-- if anyone dares to post an explanation of how they think I should have handled it, I very well might scream right here-- we all do the best we can without needing to feel judged)

A year ago, this wouldn't have phased me one bit- I had infinite patience with silly baby/toddler games- really, I was an awesome, sweet, fun, mama. My patience with a 3.5 year old-- not so much (definitely not what I'd like it to be) I still try to be sweet and fun, and we still have lots of lovely time together, but there are now "those" moments when I feel like I could almost explode. The book "Your 3 year old- Friend or Enemy" basically says that the half-years tend to be the worst-- so I'm looking forward to 4.

2 was wonderful. 3 was fine. 4 was hell.

Meh, My son just turned 5 and things have never been "terrible". he's a really easy kid, he was an easy baby. My daughter (19 months) makes up for it. Some kids are just easier than others, and people like to pigeon hole a reason for that. They feel the need to label it by age, or parenting style, or zodiac sign. When it just comes down to the fact that there is no formula, every person is different and so is every child.

And Sweet Potato you hit the nail on the head. I find I get more short tempered with my 5 year old when things happen like my 19 month old is fighting me about putting on a diaper and clothes and he will not stop talking. That's it, he's just talking. But I can't even begin to have a conversation with him while his sister is screaming her head off and I feel like and alligator wrestler as I try to get her into some clothes because we are already late for school. And I want to snap at my son, who has done nothing wrong, "Can you not see what your sister is doing to me, can you please just shut the hell up!!!!"

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Yeah, I'm finding 4 to be the hardest age so far. I wouldn't quite say it's hell, but it's definitely much more challenging than 2 or 3 was. I think now that he's 4.5 we're finally turning a corner though. (I hope!)

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That is exactly how I feel about my dd who is 3.75, and it was so unexpected because I have a 17 yo ds who at 3 was so fun, so mellow....

I love my dd but 3 is driving me mad.