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Worst:<br>
-"You HAVE to spank kids. It's the only way they learn anything."<br>
-"Just make sure you don't let your life revolve around the kid. They have to know they're not the most important person in the family."<br>
-Anything followed by a smug "You'll see."<br><br>
Best<br>
-Cherish every moment!<br>
-Hold them every chance you get until they are big enough to hold you.<br>
-Children are people too. The Golden Rule still applies.
 

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<b>Worst:</b><br><br><span style="font-size:xx-small;">(from my mother)</span> "Sometimes you just have to let them cry it out." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked"><br><br>
"Don't try to be your child's friend. They need you to be their parent, and you can't be both. They will get confused and try to manipulate you." <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"><br><b><br>
Best:</b><br><br>
"Don't be afraid to soothe your child <i>whenever</i> you feel he needs it... follow your instincts and ignore the 'experts.'"<br><br>
"Be both parent and friend to your child. The bond of trust between you will be stronger for it."<br><br>
The best,<br>
Em<br><br>
Mom to DS, born Jan. '01 <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hearts.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hearts">
 

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Worst:<br>
- (from a friend with an absolutely unmanageable toddler) "If your baby is crying a lot and you're at your wits end, just strap her into a carseat and lock her in a room alone. Crying won't hurt her, she'll be fine."<br>
- (from our pediatrician) "You can let her cry as long as she needs to. She'll learn you're not coming in, and she'll go to sleep."<br><br>
Best:<br>
- (from our midwife) "Your ONLY JOB is to nurse that baby. Not cleaning the house, not cooking anything, nothing. The only thing you should be doing is nursing the baby."
 

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WORST:<br><br>
"Crying is good for their lungs!"<br><br>
"Just mix a little rice cereal into the bottle to make him go to sleep"<br>
"Uh, we breastfeed"<br>
"Oh, well he's probably hungry if all he's getting is breastmilk"<br><br>
"He won't be healthy if you don't vaccinate him"<br><br>
BEST<br>
Don't ever wish away time<br><br>
after DS is born from a friend "Your job is to make milk."<br><br>
"Trust his immune system." From our beloved pediatrician
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Comtessa</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14751688"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Worst:<br>
- (from a friend with an absolutely unmanageable toddler) "If your baby is crying a lot and you're at your wits end, just strap her into a carseat and lock her in a room alone. Crying won't hurt her, she'll be fine."<br><br>
Best:<br>
- (from our midwife) "Your ONLY JOB is to nurse that baby. Not cleaning the house, not cooking anything, nothing. The only thing you should be doing is nursing the baby."</div>
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do we have the same midwife!?<br><br>
did anyone else hear about that poor baby in MN who dies at daycare because they strapped him too tight in his carseat and left him to cry? he couldnt breathe because the center buckle was right under his chin. <a href="http://www.lacrossetribune.com/news/state-and-regional/mn/article_15f9340a-dbdd-11de-90d4-001cc4c002e0.html" target="_blank">http://www.lacrossetribune.com/news/...cc4c002e0.html</a><br>
and, if you have a kid like mine who hates the carseat, yeah, great idea.. use it to restrain him alone in his room while he cries.. that shouldn't harm his mental associations with the car seat... <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/dizzy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Dizzy">
 

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Best:<br>
- (from our midwife) "Your ONLY JOB is to nurse that baby. Not cleaning the house, not cooking anything, nothing. The only thing you should be doing is nursing the baby."<br><br><br><br><br><br>
Oh man I WISH that one was true. Life would be so much easier. LOL But I've got to do the whole wife and home maker thing. LOL just kidding.. Cute advice though!!!<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/joy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="joy">
 

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I'm trying to remember the worst advice I've ever gotten. I think I've actually been lucky-- most of the people close to me have the right ideas about how to treat kids and babies.<br><br>
I like my mom's advice, when DD1 was an infant. She told me, "that baby knows just exactly what she needs. You don't need a book. All you need to do is clean the sh-- out of your ears, and pay attention to what she's telling you." (Yeah, I know, about the sh-- part. My mom is not famous for her clean language, but her heart is just exactly in the right place. She was irritated with me because she thought I was worrying too much about what I read in parenting books, and not really tuning in to DD1's signals.)
 

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Worst - don't have your babies too close together, it's not fair to the youngest<br><br>
Best - laugh and tickle every day
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>BarnMomma</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14751743"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">"Just mix a little rice cereal into the bottle to make him go to sleep"<br>
"Uh, we breastfeed"<br>
"Oh, well he's probably hungry if all he's getting is breastmilk"</div>
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ROTFL! Man, that's so sad it's kind of funny.<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>Llyra</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14752200"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I like my mom's advice, when DD1 was an infant. She told me, "that baby knows just exactly what she needs. You don't need a book. All you need to do is clean the sh-- out of your ears, and pay attention to what she's telling you." (Yeah, I know, about the sh-- part. My mom is not famous for her clean language, but her heart is just exactly in the right place. She was irritated with me because she thought I was worrying too much about what I read in parenting books, and not really tuning in to DD1's signals.)</div>
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<br>
Hehe, sounds like my mom, too.
 

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Worst:<br><br>
"Put a gate up on DD's room so she can't come into your room at night." (We never even said we minded her coming into our room.)<br><br>
"Put her in daycare so she can start learning." (At 7 months.)<br><br>
"If you go to her when she cries, she'll learn that you'll always do that." (Uh, yeah, that's the point, but this was said as an admonition.)<br><br>
Best:<br><br>
"Always try to meet your babies needs when they are crying. Even if you have no idea what they need and they don't stop crying, they will know you are trying and that in and of itself will help them trust you."<br><br>
"When they are having a meltdown in public, pretend no one else is there, it's just you and the toddler and no one else to judge."
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>onemomentatatime</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14757376"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">"If you go to her when she cries, she'll learn that you'll always do that."</div>
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Hahahahaha, imagine that.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>BarnMomma</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14751743"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Don't ever wish away time</div>
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Oh, this one really hit me where I live. It is such wonderful, insightful advice. I have found myself on many occasion awaiting the next phase, especially if the current one is challenging for whatever reason. Funny, when I look back I usually realize just how precious that "tough" time was and perhaps even long for it. I can really drive myself crazy with it, all the time knowing that in the course of our lifetimes, DS will only be with me for a time that amounts to the blink of an eye. I will certainly take this advice to heart.<br><br>
Great thread. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br>
The best,<br>
Em
 

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Worst:<br><br>
We've got to get that baby out of your bed!<br>
Having an only child is starting out as a dysfunctional family.<br><br>
Best:<br><br>
My best advice is: Don't take <i>anybody's</i> advice!<br>
Don't worry about the house -- you're doing the most important job by taking care of her (from DH <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">)
 

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worst ever: my dd was about 7 hours old we were at home. a fellow female tenant with 2 grown kids.<br>
"you have to let her cry"<br>
me-no i dont! i dont let her cry<br>
"you have to make her cry or she will not be able to able to breath and she will die. do you want her to die"<br>
me-standing there laughing <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> umm dont you see her breathing?
 

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Worst: "Don't hold her too much! She'll get used to it and want to be held all the time." (said to me when DD was 10 days old)<br><br>
Best: "Follow your instincts."
 

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<p>Worst:<br><br>
"Crying is good for his lungs, you have to let him cry sometimes!"<br><br>
"You need to start him on solids so he'll sleep through the night!" (I was told this when DS was not quite three months yet!)<br><br>
Best:<br><br>
When I was complaining about my house being cluttered, my mom told me "Who cares? Being there for your baby is more important."<br><br>
"You will never regret staying home with your son. Let everything else go, your baby is not a baby for long."<br><br>
I've also gotten some excellent babywearing advice here and on other forums. That's probably the most helpful parenting advice I've gotten.</p>
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>baby-makes-3</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/14759338"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Don't worry about the house -- you're doing the most important job by taking care of her (from DH <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">)</div>
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Sounds like my husband. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love"><br><br><br>
Best advice I got was to pay attention! I have, and I don't have the "where has time gone" thing that DH has. I know where time has gone; I was here almost the whole way!
 

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<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lurk.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lurk">
 

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I thought of a lovely quote I wanted to add. This actually wasn't advice I personally received, but a tidbit I happened to spy on a friend and fellow parent's family bulletin board. I have been reminding myself of it ever since:<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">Your child has many years in which to become an adult.</td>
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She had it typed, clipped and tacked up on the board so I assume it was a quote. I'd like to know from whom. I'll have to give her a jingle and ask. It just really hit home at a time when I had been expecting more from DS than he could give. It took a load of both our shoulders and then some.<br><br>
Great thread, lots of goodies to take to heart. It's especially lovely to see those who have received wonderful advice from their own Moms. My experience has been a bit "otherwise" in that regard, but I hope to someday offer something valuable and helpful to DS, if/when he decides to have a family of his own.<br><br>
The best,<br>
Em
 
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