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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok, according to this thread: <a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/showthread.php?t=859984" target="_blank">http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=859984</a> we're ALL in dire need of hugs today!!!<br><br>
What's going on? Anything you wanna share?<br><br>
I'll start.<br><br>
My dad had open heart surgery yesterday, 4 bypasses, and I can't afford to go up there. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> It's a matter of "go see dad" or "avoid getting the van repossessed." Unfortunately, I have to avoid the van getting repo'd.
 

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im just blah, ds woke up at 7am.<br><br>
if it helps, my fil had a quadruple bypass and has been around for 3yrs after so far, and he had phnemonia when they did the surgery
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Oh, that is encouraging. Thanks. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="innocent">
 

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I'm having a yucky day. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> The boys and Dakota are puking and have diarrhea. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> All the laundry I spent all last week getting caught up on is dirty in two days from the disgusting mess. I woke up at midnght throwing up all over my clean sheets and freshly steam cleaned carpet. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/bawling.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="bawl">
 

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there is a tornado warning here and we have no cellar. my grandpa had a 3bypass and is still here 15 years later!<br><br>
((hugs)) all round.<br><br>
Caleb had a seizure yesterday after being seizure free for 3 days.
 

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We have a very nerve wracking doctor appt in the morning. I had to give my oldest tylenol 3 this morning for pain. And my 3 y o is having seizures still w/ no return call from the neuro.
 

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I posted this in the adoption forum, but it might fit better here.<br><br>
I am feeling so sad about the way things are going for our family right now. My in-laws are really showing their true colors as a result of the approaching finalization of the adoption (of their grand-daughter - my dh's niece). I've always suspected that, despite protestations to the contrary, they have never really regarded me as part of 'their family.' Turns out that's true. Although dh and I have been married for over eleven years, they still hold a longstanding (and asinine) grudge against my father (too stupid to go into). I, apparently, still bear the sins of my father. I have a huge and loving family (definitely NOT perfect, but very accepting) and they have NEVER agreed to join us for holidays or any time that they perceive to be 'my family' time. It's always hurt me that they would not budge on this, but it's really coming to a head now.<br><br>
We have decided to change dd's name, and we are giving her my grandmother's name as her first name and Grace as her middle name, reflecting the miracle of her entry into our family. The name she had did not have any family history (for her or for us). When we told the in-laws, their (HER) first response was "Virginia?" (sneer) "where does that come from?" When dh told her that it was my grandmother's name and that she means very much to me, all we got was a sniff. Then, later, when she was saying goodbye to dd, she kept saying "Bye Alexis" and when I gently and quietly said "Gracie" she said, "Well, I'm just not ready for that yet." I didn't make much of it because she had just found out. I understand that it's going to take time getting used to. But, now, every time she sees Grace, she continues to call her Alexis, insisting that she's just not used to it. She doesn't correct herself or anything.<br><br>
Today, dh was speaking to them and they were still protesting the change. They're angry that we're not offering an "olive branch" on the name issue. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Like, uprooting out entire existence, going into debt, wrenching our hearts out over this precious girl who was abandoned and most certainly going to be adopted by STRANGERS isn't "olive branch" enough?????!!!!!!! And then, piece de resistance, they asked dh why we'd chosen a name that had nothing to do with dd's family. Yep, I AM, APPARENTLY, NOT DD'S FAMILY. Rich, huh? I'm so angry I could spit. And the worst thing is that this is really breaking dh's heart. I don't want to keep ranting to him about this because I don't want to hurt him, and I don't ever want to sever dd's ties with her grandparents, but I'M DONE being "their granddaughter" as they've called me for so long. (They're actually dh's grandparents, though they function more as his parent parents.)<br><br>
NOTE TO FLAMERS/BIRTH MOTHERS: I've already been set on fire about the name change thing. That's a done deal as far as dh and I are concerned. What I'm hurting over, what he's hurting over, is the fact that, apparently, membership in this larger family is conditional. And we're blindsided by that.<br><br>
I'm really sorry this is so long. Will this ever be okay?
 

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I hope tomorrow is a better day for everyone.<br><br>
Kalkiwendy, your family is just beautiful, and Virginia is such a great name. I am always shocked when people say off the way things like that. You are doing what works for your family and the in-laws are only making it more difficult for Virginia, how confusing it must be for her, your MIL needs to get over herself!
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>bunsmom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10711419"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
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Kalkiwendy, your family is just beautiful, and Virginia is such a great name.</div>
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Thank you so much!<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>bunsmom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10711419"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I am always shocked when people say off the way things like that. You are doing what works for your family and the in-laws are only making it more difficult for Virginia, how confusing it must be for her</div>
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ME TOO! Isn't it amazing. I'm wondering how they would feel if "my family" treated Virginia Grace with the same understanding of the definition of "family."<br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>bunsmom</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/10711419"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">your MIL needs to get over herself!</div>
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Sing it sister!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<br><br>
Thanks for the support.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Wendy, she's beautiful! Your mil/gmil is being a snotty UAV over this issue. What would she prefer? Never to see the child again? Because surely that would be a likelihood if she was adopted outside the family.<br><br>
What nasty ppl. You really put up with a lot form them.
 

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I got a horrible toothache. I have a phobia, intense phobia, of dentist. Haven't been to one in 6 years. Ain't looking forward to the news I am sure I will hear when I finally drag my toothaching self in.<br><br>
DD is sick. If she is not well by tomorrow and she misses her blackbelt screening (aka test, there's three she has to do and pass- one a month for three months), she will have to wait four months to start the process again.<br><br>
Dh is under too much stress and pain (from past surguries) and is just a bear to deal with lately. His mom also died two months ago. I'm trying to be as gentle to him as possible because he deserves it. It's just tough.<br><br>
Ds is actually doing ok <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br><br>
And a round of hugs for the pp's. Y'all got some stuff going on<br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug">
 

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Well, I hate to sound like a whiner because in comparison we have it pretty easy today, but..... all three of us are suffering from bad allergies. My oldest and I have had migraines for two days straight and we all feel like crap. Top it off with one of those " I just really do not know how much more I can take" because of everything going on with DS 1 right now, and I this close to completely blowing a gasket. Big time. Thanks for the hugs.<br><br>
PS..... my dad had a triple bypass two years ago. He lost a ton of weight and never really put enough back on, but other than that he is in pretty good shape. I certainly would never guess he had a bypass just by looking at him. He is healthy and active. So don't lose hope. the recovery can be tough but there certainly is lots of light at the end of the tunnel. We will keep you and your dad in our thoughts.
 

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I'm tired of telling everyone why I didn't go on my trip. You'd think I was the first person in the history of the world to have a panic attack <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"><br><br>
Dd1 had a 'thirteen' day today -- teenage moodiness and tired mama do not mix well. Lots of yelling and tears.<br><br>
Oh, and we're broke. Again.<br><br>
Hugs to all of us!<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug">
 

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wow. i love you all! peace and hugs.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/grouphug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="grouphug"><img alt="" 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We had three whole days of everyone in the family being well (after someone being sick almost every single day since Thanksgiving) and now I feel like crap. Sneezing, stuffy nose, fever, etc. DD2 has an eval with a new PT/OT group tomorrow and I am going to miss it. Dh is fully capable of taking her, but I really wanted to be there too.<br><br>
Bleh!
 

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dh and i are fighting. today we fought about whether or not ds is in fact autistic and weather or not i'm "ok" with doctors telling me the can't reschedule even though i'm going to fail out of school if i keep taking ds to appointments. he told me that we cannot afford for me not to be in school as we're living off the loans right now and that perhaps ivy just doesn't get to see a developmental ped if i have to miss class. i cried. ds apologized as he thought it was his fault. i feel like a bad mommy for talking about it in front of him.<br><br>
he screamed, kicked, and threw a real live autism scare-to -soliscit-funds-for-for-curebies-caught-on-film type fit all through his speech eval today. they say my 4yo has the linguistic capacity of a child 1yr and 10mos old today. he understands SO much more though. he has a sinus infection and kept coughing green snot breath into the pregnant evaluators face while going limp and then arching his back on the floor. he farted and burped on purpose at least 20 times. all i could think was that we looked like a mother son pair from some bad lifetime movie and valerie bertanellie was going to rescue him from me after some man rescued her from her abusive husband and the two of them would feed him magical fish oil and he'd turn into a perfectly happy little boy and be better off there than with me.<br><br>
oh yeah, and i got my period. at school. my best pants are soaking in the sink.<br><br>
whew! that feels better.<br><br>
something must be going around. i do hope those of you in the middle of immediate family/medical crises find some heeling soon.
 

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DD's turning into a bossy tyrant and throwing herself in the floor when she doesn't get her way, and being aggressive with ds1. I lost count of how many times I sent her to her room to cool off today. I know it's cause she's wanting attention, but I'm so not in the mood for it.<br><br>
And I really want ds2 to smile - he looks at me, he "talks" to me, he has developed a strong preference for me - I just want him to smile so I will worry less. I want a sign that he feels happiness sometimes - I don't even care if it is a sleep smile. He's smiled one time and amazingly I have a picture of it.<br><br>
I finally planted a little garden, and now an artic blast is blowing through. I had to milk my goat in fridged rain.<br><br>
Thanks for the opportunity to vent with you all, hopefully the weekend will cheer us all up. Wishing you all rest!
 

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My dog got hit by a car today. Right in front of our house. The kids and I got to watch his lifeless body sit in the middle of the street for what seemed like an eternity until the cops moved him to the side of the road to wait for animal control.<br><br>
It was all my fault. He is a fence jumper and I was supposed to be watching him while he was in the yard, but dd had an "accident" and I was cleaning her up and was distracted for like, 2 minutes. He jumped and ran and got hit. Just like that.<br><br>
My eldest (he has ASD) is so sad, but just can't process it or put into words how he feels. The other kids are just numb, they get it but don't at the same time. We are all sad. It was a horrible day <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">
 

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I'm so sorry about your dog FreeRangeMama <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"><br><br>
Yesterday Ivy had horrible meltdowns all day. I had to go to Target for a few things and she screamed and cried and kicked the entire time. I was able to let my 2 year old out of the cart to walk next to me... but had to keep Ivy (coming up on 5 years old) buckled in the cart. It was a double cart with a 5 point buckle and she can't undo those or escape. Near the end of the trip I tried to give her a chance walking around with me, and she took off through the store, jumped around, grabbed things off shelves. ... everyone could hear her through the entire store she was being so loud, so ... PRIMAL. She was like a caged animal.<br><br>
It was very depressing. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"><br><br>
My 2 year old looks like a dog attacked her. She has a bite on her cheek nice and red, and scratches down her back. All from Ivy. For no reason. Unprovoked.<br><br>
And today is dentist appt day! (hear my excitement?) Yep I could use a hug..
 
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