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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Just... gah.

I need to work. Both for financial reasons and to get my own needs met. Dp works full time plus and I work between half and 3/4 time. I have a strong preference to work about 3/4 time. We have one dc, who just turned four.

Since I began working we've been through several not-great babysitters. (I have one who is truly, truly fabulous who I'd hire full-time if I could afford it and she was willing, but she only wants to work eight hours a week.) I've dragged myself into every child care centre in town--there's not a one that works for our values.

We ended up trying the Waldorf Kindergarten ten minutes down the road, which I never thought I'd do, but A) we got a chance to get to know the teacher and just loved her; B) it's a gentle, child-respecting play atmosphere; and C) he wanted to. Well, that lasted a couple weeks and now he absolutely does not want to go back. I think it was just too busy and overwhelming for him. If it's not working for him I'm not about to push it.

So what do I DO? What do other working/unschooling Moms do? I've been working 8 to midnight every night and will probably still do some of that even with great child care, but I'm starting to get seriously tired and dc is spending soooo much time in front of the DVD player. I live in a small town with no family (that's helpful, anyway) nearby and few options.

Help! Any creative suggestions are warmly welcome.
 

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Any other unschooling (or at least homeschooling) families nearby?

You could swap childcare with another family (your kids stay at their house then you watch all the kids at another time.)

You could pay another HSing mom to watch your kids at their house.

You could pay a HSing teenager to watch your kids at your house.
 

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Ruth had some great ideas I would check into.
my question is did you just recently start this job? if so you may just need time to reorganize your rhythm. It always takes a while to get into a new routine and always seemed stressful at first.

Also maybe your DH can be more involved in the schooling at home parts? field trips or activity's?
 

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DH and I both WOH full-time, with opposite schedules and different days off; we still end up w/ DS at the neighbors 3 afternoons a week, 3-4 hrs each day. Not ideal, I wish we could work it out so he's not in outside care at all. We're fortunate though that our neighbor is great with him and agrees with most of our ideas. She knows we intend to homeschool but I'm not really sure how it'll work out when he gets to school age.... fortunately we have a couple years yet and who knows what might change...
W/out her I have no idea what we'd do.
Daycare around here for this age is either full-time or none; (you can do part-time but you pay for full-time regardless, and still extra if any hours outside the norm)

Any ideas why he doesn't like the school? Maybe something silly happened that he can get over, or that you can help him over? (a fight w/ a friend, or something embarrased him for example).... Of course you want to respect his wishes in going or not, but maybe if you talk it through (including why you have to leave him there) .....
*hugs*...I guess I really don't have any good advice since we're not there...
 

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Where in Canada do you live? Yes, looonnngggg shot but I HS and do daycare and am in London, On.

Like I said, looooonnnnggg shot!
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks, everyone, for your replies.

melisabb--I'm in Nova Scotia. If you ever decide to move here, let me know.


onyxravnos, I've been working about eight months now. Dh is a very involved parent--he doesn't have the wiggle room to do more. And since we're unschoolers and dc is only 4, we don't really so much have field trips and planned activities. Unless you want to count trips to the grocery store, which are technically both.

His feelings about not going to Waldorf are very strong. I think he just didn't feel connected to anyone with busy teachers and so many kids around. Discussing it upsets him, so I'm dropping it. We might try again next fall. There are very, very few other unschoolers around here (the one unschooling teen I know has already gently turned me down several times!) so I guess I'm going to bite the bullet and attend the local homeschool group. I've heard that it's dominated by religious homeschoolers, so that's kept me away up until now.
 

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You might be surprised at who is part of your local HS group... I hope you find connects there!

One other place to ask around, would be the Waldorf (or if there is a Montessori or other alternative) school - ask for a copy of the list of all p/t or substitute teachers. I know a few of the substitute teachers in my area and they were open to some part time childcare.

Finding the right relationship is something I am always working on too. DH works f/t weekdays and I WOTH 3 days/wk, which is not enough for my career, but must do for now.

Good luck!
 

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It takes time to find childcare, put the 'word out' and network all you can. Talk to the gal at the deli counter at the grocery store, talk the the bagger, IKYKWIM... Post on craigslist, join the homeschool group, you dont have to have the same beliefs, but you may find someone who does daycare who can refer you etc...
Also look around for homeschool classes etc, at 4 DS may be interested in some type of class and you can meet families that way.

Once you get a good relationship with a sitter going, staying on past age 5-6 probalby wont be a problem/
 

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It does sometimes take time to find the right child care person. We are very lucky. I WOH 3 days per week and we have a babysitter that comes to our home. She's been with us for 1.5 years now. I don't know what we'd do without her. She takes the kids places sometimes too, although it is hard w/3. She even takes them to our homeschool park day sometimes. I'd suggest to keep looking for the right person. Can you post at any local colleges? That is how we found ours.

s
Tracy
 

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Go ahead and give the hs group a try. You never know.
Im so lucky, I dont feel that way a lot of days, becuase I would prefer to sah, but since I do have to woh, Im lucky to have fil live in and take care of the kids for his room and board!

I second the previous suggestions, try a local college, try finding a sahm. Look around for someone who does childcare in thier home, I would prefer that to a center, just find someone with comprable child rearing values, maybe check a local AP online group?
 

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Are you familiar with the NS homeschooling Yahoo list? I'm not in NS (yet!) but I am on that list. Perhaps there's someone there looking to help care for a child, or who has a recommendation for someone? Feel free to PM me if you'd like the link!

It looks like we're going to be moving to Halifax within the year. I have a 6 yr old (girl) a 3.5 yr old (boy) and another on the way in June. And I know at least one other MDC mama that lives in Halifax with kids similar in age. So there are/will be more unschoolers around in those parts, if Halifax is anywhere near you!
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Thanks for checking on me, heket. No solutions yet. We think we'll ask him if he'd like to try Waldorf again in January but I'm not holding my breath.

KoalaMama, it'll be terrific to have you in NS! Yes, I'm on that list. Unfortunately I'm not in Halifax--doubt I'd be so stumped if I was. I'm in Lunenburg, population 2,300. There are no local colleges. This is what I get for moving to the bucolic countryside.
Say, I have a good unschooling friend in Halifax from MDC with kids the same ages as yours--suppose it's the same friend?

I will be giving the hs group a try next month. Wish me luck!
 

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Green Betty!! Ok, now I know who you are! You changed your user name.


I adore Lunenburg! Such a beautiful spot.

If your friend is not the same one I'm thinking of, then that's just more fabulous news about my upcoming move! The more awesome MDC unschooling mamas the better!
:

Sending you lots of good vibes for this all working out perfectly.
 

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We are fortunate that our ds never (or very very very rarely) has to be in outside care. How we have done it is to always make sure one of us adults is at home with ds, and that our availablity at work reflects this priority. I mean, I can always find a way to pay say the electric bill, but no one else will be my ds's mommy or daddy. KWIM?

So, maybe looking at the availibilty to see what is feasible in your situation with the companies you two work for, have a discussion "family meeting" experment. I wish you well.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Wugmama View Post
Can you post at any local colleges? That is how we found ours.
I was going to suggest this.
There is a girls college (although any would work) near us that has an ongoing list of students each year that will do different jobs for families. Most do babysitting but some do errand running, cleaning, petsitting and others. Back when we needed a sitter we could always find one there.

I also agree with joining a homeschool group. Search Yahoo groups for one in your area. I can find secular and religious groups in my area on Yahoo. You may be surprised when you find homeschooling moms that would love to have a child to babysit who really need the money.
 
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