[Oriole]

DSD asked to see a counselor, which we gladly signed a permission form for over the weekend (there is one at the school), and she said she enjoyed their first session today. She doesn't discuss what they talked about, but seemed happy about the opportunity, and I can only be happy for her, right?!

I want to see this as a wonderful, mature thing - she feels she needs help, and she is capable of reaching out, and finding a way to resolve her own problems. Correct?

Is is okay for me to be happy for her and guilt-free on this topic? I don't see any major signs of concern at the moment, but there is a little worry that maybe I am missing something serious, and the counselor is her last resort?

What do you think?

Anyone ever gone to see a counselor at school? Was it out of serious need or just "to have someone to talk to, other than your parents"?

Tell me, I'm really curious.

 

[MusicianDad]

It could be anything. It's very likely she just needs some help with some minor issue and thinks the councellor would be more help at the moment.

 

[Ruthla]

I was never offered that kind of counseling at school, but I did go to a private counselor as a child and teen.

I don't think it's anything serious. It's most likely just so she can process "teen stuff", including the need to grow independent of you, with a neutral 3rd party.

 

[karne]

I had a thread on here recently about my dd using the guidance counselor. There was a girl/personality issue that became difficult for her one day, the counselor was offered, and she felt like she wanted to give it a go. Now, she's younger than your dsd (I think that's right). I felt I needed to meet the person first, and I came away feeling that it was probably a pretty benign thing-I gave my permission.
Now dd is not feeling quite like she wants this interaction and I have made it clear that the ball is in her court, and I would make sure that the counselor understood that dd's wishes were to be respected. All that said, I think it's a sign of good growth when our kids search out their own resources. To me it seems a sign of strength that a young person can figure out how to get their needs met and their concerns addressed. You don't sound like you have anything you particularly need to be concerned about, and if there is, at least there is a responsible adult involved.

 

[mommy68]

Quote:

Originally Posted by MusicianDad It could be anything. It's very likely she just needs some help with some minor issue and thinks the councellor would be more help at the moment.

I agree. As a teenager I wish I would have gone to a counselor for some of the things I needed answers to. Some teens are just embarrassed to go to mom or dad and at least she knows that she can go to someone, even a counselor, so that's great if she's talking to someone.

 

[MominTN]

Sounds like you're doing a great job mothering a very mature teen! Good job! I think it's a good sign that she chose this route, whatever the issue is that she wants to discuss. Try to remember that the counselor is a responsible adult. Whatever the issue is, she could have made poor decisions, turned to bad role models, etc... she chose to see a school counselor... and to ask you for permission! Wow. That sounds like a good sign. I would just increase the reassurance I'm sure you normally give and also remind her that she can talk to you about anything at all so that if she chooses to talk, she'll know you're ready to receive her with open arms.

Keep on keepin' on!

Crystal

 

[pranamama]

It could be for anything, but I would be supportive. Perhaps her friends are going also, or she is trying to get advice on how to help a friend with problems. One side benefit can be choosing which class to miss, but I am pretty sure the schools don't let them take blatant advantage of that policy.

 

[bmcneal]

I think it could be for anything, but I don't think you need to be terribly worried. I would be supportive and let her know also that she could come talk to you about things as well. I think it's a sign that you are raising a very mature teenager, that she was comfortable enough to ask you if she could see a counselor, and that she's aware of the resources available to her and is using them.

 

[2mama]

It sounds totoally normal. If the councler was concerned by what she said, like she was in danger of harming herself or others or there was a health concern they councler would need to contact you. I would go and see my councler at school in junior high and high school but it was never for anything major. I think that in our school they actually made appointments with us and made us come in. In high school they would talk about goals, plans for the future, what were where doing to keep going on the right track, things like that.

Could you ask her what it was about? Your could tell her you are slightly concerned and just want to make sure everything is okay. You could even tell her that you don't need to know what it was about, just that you want her to know that you are there for her if she needs it.

Good luck!

 

[BelovedK]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 2mama Could you ask her what it was about? Your could tell her you are slightly concerned and just want to make sure everything is okay. You could even tell her that you don't need to know what it was about, just that you want her to know that you are there for her if she needs it.

I remember wanting to talk to someone when I was a teen about normal teen stuff. The school didn't offer counseling (I wish it had) I eventually talked my parents into letting me go to someone and it was really helpful. I think it's great that she was able to ask for help

 

[Labbemama]

As a counselor if it was a very serious they would let you know. I think it's great your dd asked for help. You could ask her if there was anything going on in her life that she needed to talk to you about. I also think it would be appropriate to ask in general what kind of things the counselor is working on your dd with... i.e. surviving high school, depression, college-planning etc. For the purpose of supporting her but not knowing all the details. KWIM?

For example my dd was having a lot of trouble with body image and peer pressure. ( Who wouldn't.) But that way I can get resources from the counselor to support what she's learning. KWIM?