[shelley4]

okay, just feel the need for a small rant.

we have been saving up money for a new computer... which is fine, we need it. yesterday, hubby came home with an unexpected bonus from work (woohoo!), which will cover the cost of the new computer... great.. but, he has now decided to upgrade the computer he wants, including getting a set of really fancy speakers.

i just don't get this! we neeeeeed the money, it has been MY focus for the last 6 months to get us out of debt, and he wants to get these stupid speakers (what's wrong with our current speakers? why do we even need new ones, let alone fancy ones?), when i would much much rather take that money and pay down some of our debt. i even took all my birthday money (gift from my parents and my in laws), and put every penny towards paying off our debt... and there is a million things that i'd like to go out and buy (how about enough chairs for around our dining room table, so that our WHOLE family can eat *together*???)

i even told him that he can order his computer, minus the speakers, and we can think about getting the speakers later (a christmas gift maybe?), but he wants them now

okay, rant over!

 

[tug]

i know what you mean. been here and done this. it's some weird testosterone thing.

 

[DaednuSO]

I guess what it boils down to is this. Men like having at least one thing that listens to em, and does as it's told.

Not that I'm suggesting women should be under the thumb of mankind, Taliban style - but there's something in the male psychology that likes working with straightforward things, like gear ratios, assembly language programming, etc. where you do X and Y happens as a result. Dealing with people is less in the psyche - people misinterpret things.

 

[Goldiemom]

Yeah my Dh just went through this he wanted a new computer. Well I can say that he has been really good about all this as the one he has nowis an OLD pentium 233. I have the better computer. He was ummm content with it because it did get on the net. But when I found out that DS needed a computer for his therapy we decided to give him Dh's old one and get Dh a new one. WEEEELLLLLL Dh went through and looked all over and finally came to find that it would be cheaper and easier to just order and build one like he wanted.........grand totoal $3296.99

And yes there were some really nice expensive speakers in there too. Well he was all ready to order the parts when he read that there was some new techy stuff that would be out before the end of the year or just after that would make a few key componets obsolete. So he went the budget route and cameout with a really great computer system for about $800 and yes it had some really good speakers not the original ones but a nice 5 speaker set for $29.99 that just sounds so awsome I made him order me a set for my computer too. Maybe you just need to shop around a bit to find something more liveable.

But as with the speaker deal it is a guy thing that has started to grow on me. Here my Dh has a thing with speakers from the computer, the home theater, and most importantly the cars......but that is another thread

 

[lauraess]

Because They LOVE Their Little TOYS!!!!..... Lawn mowers, cameras, power tools. It definately has something to do with control. but, thats the way they are.
laura

 

[Emilie]

My dh is the same way. We were supposed to have a little extra income tax money to pad our account- but he can not contain himself! I also have a hard time telling him no- because he works hard enough and does not get much you know!
I hope you can compromise on this.... I know how much this sucks. Our debt is mainly dh's debt and I feel like I am the one who is always sacrificing.
Em

 

[Alkenny]

My DH is the same way. He'll get a game and then OOPS! The video card isn't big enough, we need a new one of those too! And, yes, I know he reads the specs first and I'm convinced he has it all worked out. GRRR!

The bigger the boys, the bigger the toys!

 

[JesseMomme]

My dh pulls this malarky all the time. I sell some DVDs we don't watch to help a little with our income? He buys more DVDs! (But they were on sale, but I'm trying to expand our DVD collection, but I thought you'd want to really see this one...)
I was supposed to get a whole maternity wardrobe with the tax refund this spring and a diaper stash for the new baby and that was totally agreed upon. (I had nothing save for larges, and had sold all of my maternity the year before) Next thing I know, the money is gone, ekked away here and there on stupid little things/toys (like a gameboy advance and then you have to get the games and the cable hookup and blah blah) and some really big purchases I was not made aware of until it was said and done - what do you know I soon have no clothing that fits. So I sell to buy myself this stuff and all I get is complaints and grumbles. This in turn makes it "ok" for him to go around me again and buy books or whatever else he wants.

Why do men have to have silly toy/stuff? I'm all for quality myself, even for speakers, but I know I dont' need the 1000$ pair when the $300 pair sound great, kwim?
Sorry to minirant on your thread

just commiserating. The whole men with toys/"things" they don't need really hits a nerve with me.

 

[DaednuSO]

I used to be a complete neanderthal. I'm now half a neanderthal. What a lot of this also boils down to is this.

Males sometimes/often think of finances this way:

WHAT I EARN (and unless his name is Steadman, he'll think this) - OBLIGATIONS = DISPOSABLE INCOME

Me spending DISPOSABLE INCOME = neat stuff that does stuff (e.g. cars drive, bikes can be ridden, tools make things) which I get as a reward for my efforts

Her spending DISPOSABLE INCOME = overpriced crap that doesn't do anything e.g. new curtains (what's wrong with the ones we have now) new carpets (ditto), Beanie Babies (why?), etc. or worse, spent five dollars at a time accumulating masses of things like, a couple of cute towels here, a nice cute butter dish there, etc. with "nothing to show for it". Please note that these words are in quotation marks. For a valid reason.

These are the same guys who would gladly eat their food out of a can over the sink. Guys whose collections of stuff would happily be stored on planks of wood balanced on stolen cinder blocks. Why buy a bed when an air mattress on the floor with an army surplus sleeping bag will do the trick?

Funny thing is, these same guys will take YOUR towels rather than use THEIRS when they marry you.

There is a learning curve to learning how to be human.

If you don't have someone in your life who is completely defective (e.g. psychotic) he'll eventually come around.

 

[Melissa S]

I always tell my DH he does not know how to delay gratification. A large portion of our tax return was spent on a PS2 complete with controls, a few games, and a carry case to boot. He did buy me a few needed things like new pots and pans and a high velocity fan for our hot summers (more practical) but for us too it seems every time we have abit extra it goes to toys. I must give him the benefit though, last year tax return went to pay off debt. ALL of it. I guess he felt he owed it to himself this year, even thought there are other debts and needs.

M