[fireshifter]

Please no flaming, no criticism, I'm just curious and looking for stories/experiences that brought you to attachment parenting....

I was raised in a Christian background. My parents, however, were somewhat liberal. To put it bluntly, I was conceived in a tipi during their two month long camping honeymoon. They are both teachers. My mother cloth-diapered and breastfed because that's all they could afford. I was raised lacto-ovo veggie because it was cheaper and healthier. We were fully vaccinated. My brother was circumsized. We were both born in a hospital. We were spanked at times, but only when we deliberately lied or did things that were not allowed in the household, like stealing candy from a store (which I did once, never tried it again). When my brother and I argued, my parents laughed at us and we would stop. My brother and I slept in our cribs from day one, occasionally were left to cry for a few minutes. I never felt unloved or abused or neglected. I never felt my needs were ignored, but also understood when my parents couldn't afford something. I went to private school, my parents scraped so that brother and I could have a horse and dogs and cats. Brother had a paintball gun and played with army men. My mom stayed at home until I was 12 yrs old.

Flash forward 20 or so years, here I am, a SAHM, Christian (leaning more conservative than not), vegan (for health reasons), cloth-diapering (frugal reasons), planning to homeschool DS (I love teaching and would love the flexibility), delayed-selectively vaxing, co-sleeping (for simplicity and pure laziness), using a sling or wrap most days, not sure on the discipline mantra yet, longing for a home-birth. I am happy with who I am as a parent so far, I feel like this job is naturally for me.

As for my brother, I adore him. He's now one of the most peaceably friendly people you'd ever meet, a world traveler and speaks three languages. He is always fighting for a cause, skateboards and does incredible photography and painting.

I get the impression that there are so many varying backgrounds and platforms with which we come from and we meet here and it's easy to understand why we don't get along some times. Some people are pro gentle discipline b/c they were physically or verbally abused. Some are cloth-diapering b/c its the recycling thing to do. Some are vehement about certain topics, others are not so.

Please don't flame me or any responders. Just share your story, if you would, so that I could gain a better perspective on what has brought some of us all here.

Looking forward to your posts.

Jen

 

[hapi2help]

First, I am not crunchy, at all. I mean we eat organic(animals included) if we can. We recycle religiously, we did circ my ds and we do vax. I don't think, personally those make me less into APing. In fact, I don't think those things=AP.

Of course, of course....IMO!!!!! AND I totally support all parental practices discussed of MDC.

Anyways, I was raised similiarly to you....*normal* for those times. My mom was SAHM, but I have a handicapped bro that took a lot of her attention and probably patience and sanity. APing just feels right to me. While I was prego and even before I *knew* what kind of mom I wanted to be. I had lots of examples of what I did NOT want to do, mainly put dc into daycare and let someone else be his *everything*. While I was prego I read and read, and came to realize my idea of parenting was APing. Thanks Dr Sears!!!

It just feels right, and we do what we do! I think most importantly, APing is CARING for your dc, and how the *turn out*. The best thing about APing is the fact that we all (parents) can support each other in this endeavor and accept each other....with all our different practices .

 

[punkinsmommy]

My mom was fairly "crunchy" when we were growing up. Me and my sister were born in hospitals, but my brother (#3) for my mom was born at home with a midwife. Me and my sister (ages 4 and 6) were able to watch my brother be born. I know all 3 of her labors were med free and she used the Bradley Method with my dad. My mom also breastfed all 3 of us past a year. I was breastfed until I was 2. She also homeschooled my sister and I for a few years.

We were spanked. We didn't eat organic, although we did get our milk right from a farm. We were all vaxed, and I don't think she used a sling or anything like that because there are lots of pictures of us in strollers.

I'm not totally crunchy myself. I breastfed, but not much past a year. My first labor I had a shot (still wish I hadn't). The next 2 were med free, but in hospitals. I did have DS1 and DD in the room (along with my DH, aunt, SIL, and cousin) when DS2 was born. Thankfully the hospital I attend is very tolerant of natural births and gave me plenty of leeway.

I use a sling with DS2 but didn't with DS1 or DD, because I didn't know about them then. We eat organic when we can. My kids are vaxed. And the boys are circed (had I been more informed when DS1 was born, neither of them would be).

I guess I'm still a work in progress when it comes to APing. LOL

 

[fireshifter]

Hmmm, I'm thinking...So there is a true difference between Crunchy and AP, ya'll think? Give me some examples, I've been thinking a lot about this recently. I'm also looking forward to more responses.

Jen

 

[Persephone]

Quote:

Originally Posted by fireshifter Hmmm, I'm thinking...So there is a true difference between Crunchy and AP, ya'll think? Give me some examples, I've been thinking a lot about this recently. I'm also looking forward to more responses. Jen

First of all, there's AP. Then there's NFL.

A lot of APers also practice NFL, but you don't have to practice NFL to AP. And if you practice NFL, you don't have to AP.

AP= Breastfeeding, Babywearing, Cosleeping, GD, and birth practices that promote early bonding (mostly, natural birth) (See here: http://www.attachmentparenting.org/ideals.shtml)

NFL= the "crunchy" stuff: cloth diapers, no circ/vax, breastfeeding, special diets (vegan/NT/organic), anything that is done consciously to reduce the impact on the environment, voluntary simplicity, nontoxic housecleaning, etc

From personal experience, most people who practice AP also practice NFL. However, you'll run across APers who don't care about the environment(I'm not talking about anyone here, of course), or NFLers who spank or whatever.

Oh, and not everyone does everyTHING. You can still be crunchy and, say, not recycle (we don't recycle, but I'm definitely out there in crunchiness), and you can still be AP and have an epidural or not cosleep or whatever. (I always thing of USAmma as the ultimate nontraditional AP parent

) Different strokes, you know?

 

[hapi2help]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Persephone First of all, there's AP. Then there's NFL. A lot of APers also practice NFL, but you don't have to practice NFL to AP. And if you practice NFL, you don't have to AP. AP= Breastfeeding, Babywearing, Cosleeping, GD, and birth practices that promote early bonding (mostly, natural birth) (See here: http://www.attachmentparenting.org/ideals.shtml) NFL= the "crunchy" stuff: cloth diapers, no circ/vax, breastfeeding, special diets (vegan/NT/organic), anything that is done consciously to reduce the impact on the environment, voluntary simplicity, nontoxic housecleaning, etc From personal experience, most people who practice AP also practice NFL. However, you'll run across APers who don't care about the environment(I'm not talking about anyone here, of course), or NFLers who spank or whatever. Oh, and not everyone does everyTHING. You can still be crunchy and, say, not recycle (we don't recycle, but I'm definitely out there in crunchiness), and you can still be AP and have an epidural or not cosleep or whatever. (I always thing of USAmma as the ultimate nontraditional AP parent ) Different strokes, you know?

OMG.......I *do* more crunchy things than I thought, and *doing* more and more as I learn about them(here, of course)......Yikes! What is happening to me?

 

[frontierpsych]

I ran into a Hathor the Cowgoddess comic on the web by chance, and the rest is history!

 

[chinaKat]

My formative years were spent following the Grateful Dead. 'Nuff said?

I also grew up in a no-TV, organic gardening, food co-op belonging sort of rural upbringing, with a SAHM that served whole foods only and made lots of my clothes.

The AP parenting thing I picked up myself, I was an older mom (33) when DD was born and I did a lot of research and thinking about parenting style before having her.

 

[Sharlla]

Well my mom was a SAHM, we always had a veggie garden where ever we lived, mom cloth diapered and we didn't have a whole lot of stuff (never had computer, video games, cable, phone, clothes dryer, microwave etc) We were a single car family too. I guess growing up that way could have made me lean toward a more crunchy lifestyle.

As far as AP goes, that just came naturally.

 

[Jilian]

I gradually got into AP, then it led to NFL. I knew I wanted to have a natural birth when I was preg only because I've never been a big fan of medications and did not want my son getting any unnecessary drugs. I had the natural birth and went on to breastfeed for 17 mos. I found LLL when DS was 4 mos and the rest is history. Enter cloth diapers, mama cloth, organics, and more!

I was raised very UN-AP. My mother practiced DEtachment parenting. I wanted better for my son. So I guess you could say that my background did lead me to AP, because I knew I did not want to raise my son the way my mother raised me.

 

[angelpie545]

My mom breastfed and cloth-diapered all of us; we were born in the early 80s so this was far from normal. We were all fully vaxed and slept in cribs but I also never felt unloved or not cared for. My mother is and was probably the most giving and loving person I have ever met. She is such an amazing woman. I love, LOVE, my mother! She is the reason I became the woman I am. Even though she did spank occasionally, she was otherwise very GD and sweet. My father had some growing to do as a parent when we were young, but he did it and he was so devoted to his family. My father passed away from colon cancer almost 5 years ago but he is so missed. I have never known another man so devoted to his family, even asking how they were on his deathbed. It is so heartbreaking but I love my parents so much and I thank God(literally) that He gave me the parents He did.

As you can probably tell, I was raised Christian. I am still very much a Christian, but a crunchy Christian at that!

We-ell...sorta cruncy probaby best descirbes it. Discipline-wise, I'm probably more like my parents, but GD does make a lot of sense and I do enjoy that board. It is very informative and we do have some very knowledgeable and wise mams over there.

As far as everything else goes, I don't believe in CIO, I do believe in extended breastfeeding, babywearing, I co-slept with my kids when they were young, and I believe in natural childbirth and immediate bonding after the child's brith. I am a fierce advocate of parent's rights as well especially when it comes to AP.

So how did I get that way? First of, my very wise and wonderful parents who gave me just enough gentleness and discipline. Secondly, because I was a teen mom. Being Christian, my parents were somewhat upset when I got pregnant at 17(I think they were more upset with the guy I was with;at that point I don't think they liked him very much) and my mom felt it was best that I moved out. I was talking with my friend Meg, who thought her very AP parents would let me move in with them. Well, she was right. K, Meg's mother, was very AP and guided me and educated me on such subjects as no vaxing/delayed vaxing, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, babywearing, and what not, all the AP principles. It all made so much sense to me, and because of her I ended up with a midwife birth at a wonderful birth center, and avoided a c-section because of my very competent and alert midwife.

I also began reading and educating myself on child-rearing, and now pretty much just follow my own principles which happen to be crunchy now. I've taken my experience, and all that I have learned from wise mothers, and formed my own opinions from there. My kids are now happy, healthy, well-adjusted kids as a result.

 

[ndunn]

My mom was super super AP. She cloth diapered, breast fed me till 3 and a bit years old, was big into LLL, we co-slept until 2.5 years, I don't think I was ever spanked once, I wasn't vaccinated, I was held/worn most of the time, my mom didn't get us a TV until I was 11 and then we didn't have cable...

She grew organic veggies in our garden. You get the picture.... THe only thing she had that wasn't natural was a c-section because I was breech and the doctor pretty much scared her into it.

Still because I didn't have siblings I didn't really remember all that stuff. When I got pregnant I didn't even think of anything but that I'd go to the hospital when I Was in labour. Well, that all changed. I went through a huge journey as my pregnancy progressed and I ended up having a wonderful home/water birth. It was a big period of growth for me. At around 8 months pregnant, when researching reasons not to have vitamin k at my birth and info to back up my opinion, I ran across mothering.com! The rest is history. I found out that I do parent pretty much the way I was parented, but I just came to it in my own way.

 

[Peony]

My mom was a SAHM and very attached but the only semi-crunchy thing she did was recycle back in the 80's. I come from a medical background (RN) and knew natural childbirth and bfing was best. I started researching while pg with dd, I picked up a Dr. Sear's book that lead me to AP,co-sleeping, etc... which felt very right to me. I got into no-vaxing when dd had a reaction at two months, that lead me to homopathic medicine and herbs, and I believe everything the opposite of what I had once learned. Once I started questioning that, I started questioning everything, I changed my living practices, started CDing, trying to reduce my "footprint" so to speak, switched to organic food, etc... All of that really became cemented when I discovered dd's numerous allergies at 2 years. Now I'm one of the more crunchier people I know, I surprise most people because I'm not at all what you expect when you look at me.

 

[2Sweeties1Angel]

AP came naturally. Mainstream parenting goes against pretty much everything natural (especially CIO) and would have been a struggle for me. So I guess by being AP I'm taking the lazy way out, huh?

NFL, well, I'm not sure how that happened. Mom cloth diapered and breastfed because that's what was best for the environment and best for the baby. It was also cheaper, which is always a bonus. My brother and I were always held when we weren't sleeping when we were babies. I slept in my parents room, usually in their bed, until I was 3.5 and my little brother came along. His night waking made me seek out my own room

I still slept with my mother on occasion until I was almost a teenager. I almost died from the DTaP when my son did die from it, it cemented my decision to never EVER inject poison into my children again. My parents do think I'm a weirdo for using cloth toilet paper, but they see the benefit in it. It's just not something they'd ever do. DS is asthmatic and that led me to natural cleaning products--he hasn't had but one attack since I made the switch and that was only because he overexerted himself playing with my brother.

 

[Kidzaplenty]

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[witchbaby]

my parents aren't especially ap. they formula fed me and had me in a crib from day one (when i was a couple months old, they started giving me bottles of water at night so i would learn waking up in the middle of the night to eat "wasn't worth it"), my mother returned to work a month after i was born (which she says was a mistake. she was a teacher and would stand in her classroom every morning before school and cry). however, they were/are very affectionate and ALWAYS held me to feed me, carried me everywhere and "wore" me (in a backpack carrier! we still have it!). when my mother hired a babysitter for me, she said her biggest requirement was someone who would hold me and cuddle me all day.

over the years, they became more nfl: we always had a vegetable garden and they recycled back when you had to haul it all yourself for a handful of pennies. they cloth diapered me as a baby. all the time they are making a concious effort to live in a more environmentally gentle way.
i started researching the first time i was pregnant (i lost that pregnancy in the first trimester and didn't get pregnant with my daughter for another year) and learned about ap. the more i learned, the more it made sense to me. by the time i concieved my daughter, i knew i would breastfeed, cloth diaper, co-sleep and babywear for her benefit; i do for her brother, too.
as for nfl, i've been working my way towards being a dirty hippie. we used non-toxic cleansers and recycle as much as we can. we try to buy local as much as possible (it's sometimes tough since we're poor) and use as little gas as possible.
i suppose my penchant for researching to death is what led me here!