I very much like Dar's description and I had similar influences on my way to unschooling.<br><br>
I'd read <span style="text-decoration:underline;">Escape From Childhood</span>, before I had kids and had certain ideas about how I would treat my own kids and what kind of relationship I wanted to have with them. Althought the term wasn't used then, when I had my first child I think we had a pretty consensual relationship. The trouble was, that was easy to do when you're both pretty easy-going. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"> I started hanging out on the tcs list after my second child because parenting her was so very different. That list was hugely helpful to me in looking at things from a different pov, problem solving, finding creative solutions so that everyone could be happy...<br><br>
All of that set the foundation for unschooling. My oldest started school because we weren't aware that he didn't have to. But when his needs and the school's needs clashed, when he wasn't happy or thriving, we had that history of CL and tcs that helped me look for alternatives. I'd read a few of Holt's books on education--that's the first time I'd heard any reference to unschooling.) It is often difficult for me to say whether something we do is "unschooling" or just the way I parent because it's all tied up together, which makes sense to me but often not to others.<br><br>
While I've read Gardner and find much of what he says interesting, I don't see that he advocates anything like unschooling. His ideas about learning seem a little too regimented to me.<br><br>
All that background to say that, to me, unschooling means my kids learn what they want to and find useful to learn. They learn when they want to and in whatever way and to whatever extent they want to. I am not the authority over their learning--I'm a partner. I help them get information, but I don't have a list of things for them to learn. My kids don't think in terms of "school subjects" and they don't separate topics--(at least, they didn't until they got to be older and began looking at colleges, preparing transcripts and having to divide things up into "math" and "literature" etc.) Their learning was all connected and interwoven with one thing leading to the next.<br><br>
And so it goes with all parts of our lives, not just what people think of as school. I believe that they know themselves better than anyone else does and I trust that will lead them to their own unique paths in life.<br><br>
I do share things with my kids--things I think they want to know, things I think they'll like, things I think are interesting or that they might find helpful. It's done in the same way I'd share things with friends. They're perfectly free to say, "Thanks, but I'm not interested." I've also been known to give advice, which they are free to take or leave. While I might have more experience in a certain area than they have, I realize that it's MY experience and their experience might be very different.<br><br>
So, our unschooling is nested in the idea of respect for the individual, freedom, a questioning of standard beliefs (everything from "babies sleep in cribs" to "kids need to read by age 6" to "college should be everyone's goal" and on and on.) I think we're each on our own indivdual paths and we can offer help, ideas, support, etc. but shouldn't attempt to control or direct anyone else's life.
