[greeny]

I know a child not wanting to go to school is nothing new. But I don't know how to handle it.

The first two weeks were fine. Dd (4.5) got in line and went in with the other kids.

But last Wednesday, she refused to go in. I walked her in, and she absolutely refused to go into the classroom. The only way I could have left her there is if someone had physically restrained her. So I took her home, where she developed a high fever (104), and was sick the rest of the week.

Today I brought her, and again, she didn't want to go. I walked her to her class, and it was a long 10 minute (and incredibly frustrating) discussion about going or not. Ugh. Finally, I was fed up and placed her physically in her room and walked out of the school.

I do not feel proud of that, but I was desperate and frustrated and trying to catch her younger brother who was running through the halls and making all kinds of noise and trouble.

I don't know what to do if this continues (and I'd bet almost anything that it will).

She is verrrrrrry sensitive and verrrrrrrrry stubborn, and we butt heads a lot. I try to remain calm and remember that 1) she's only 4 and 2) she takes longer to warm up to new situations than other kids do. (To make things worse, dh recently started a new job that has him traveling a lot, and that's taking a toll on dd as well.)

Anyway, what do you do if your child physically resists going to school? Do you have a teacher hold him/her while you walk away? Do you take him/her home?

To me, pre-K is not really optional for her. I sincerely do not think that a year of maturing will make things easier when we start K. And I don't want her to have to start the all-day K program without getting used to going to school. So I'd really like to stick it out if we can.

Also, I should mention that I think the school is fine. I don't get a weird gut feeing that something's amiss at the school. The teachers are nice, the kids are nice, and I think the environment is nice.

Help!!!!

 

[rachdoll]

Are our daughters related? I so could have written your post. I've been trying to for the past few days, actually, but won't hijack your thread!

My daughter is 5, and in all day kindergarten. We did half day 4k last year, in preparation for all day kindergarten.

Are you able to help in the class? I think that helped my DD tremendously last year. I helped once a week, with DD2 in tow (she was 6 months old at the start of last school year). It was not easy, but worth it for us.

I'll be following your thread!

 

[greeny]

I'm not glad you're having similar trouble, but it's nice to hear from people who can understand. I am really at a loss.

Today when I picked her up (she goes for just under 2.5 hours) she said she had fun, though she did report, "for half of the class I just lay on the floor, and for the other half I played and had fun."

(I doubt it was really half of the time that she lay there, over an hour, but I left a message for the teacher to call me just to check.)

 

[Ellien C]

I'm living this with my 4 yo who's been in this same day care/preschool since she was 18 months old. I can't take her home as DH and I are both working. Is it something about the age?

 

[rharr!]

I think it may be the age.
One of my daycare children just turned four. A few weeks before his birthday he became very clingy and fussy at drop off. Sometimes he right freaked out. Those days his mom would keep him. Once I asked if she would like me to hold while she left and she said yes, so wrapped my arms around him while she walked out the door. He cried for about 6 minutes, then I carried him to the lounger with some books and snuggled him and read to him and he calmed down immediately.

I don't know how I feel about physically restraining a child. I know he didnt fight it, in fact he was a triffle calmer being held, but it still makes me uneasy to physically restrain a child that just wants thier mom(or dad).

tough one...

 

[rabrog]

Kind of OT and I don't mean to offend anyone - I'll say that right away.

We've been having trouble with Sunday School at church this year. SS started the end of August. The first Sunday, she didn't want to stay because two other boys (twins) were in the room. We have issues with the children (an older girl also) of this family. One of the twins - the characteristcis of a social disorder at only 3yo are phenomenal. It's very scary. I managed to get her situated with the teachers (two new teachers this year) and she was okay. The next Sunday, when I got her for church, she crawled up in her daddy's lap and cried.

: She's been bored and ready to high tail it out of there every week. This week, she flat out refused to enter the classroom. We ate donuts in the cafe area instead and then went to worship.

Now I know the issues with the class and another mom is working to get a separate 3yo class started (it's a 2/3 combined class with very young 2yo and all the 3yo are at least 3.5 - too wide an age range to work with). DD is also doing work that the 4/5yo class is doing just because of what we do at home. It's a Lutheran church - I don't know if many churches group the ages like this but it's a poor system.

All that to say, I understand but in a slightly different context. I'd look to be sure there are no issues with teachers or other kids that need to be addressed. I'd also look to see that the material is challenging enough for her (that is DDs problem - she's bored out of her skull).

Jenn