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Discussion Starter #1
So, it's obvious when my babe is tired, she'll start becoming overly fussy and will rub her eyes like crazy. But lately she's been fighting sleep and sometimes it takes hours to get her to sleep. She just keeps crying... especially at night, and nothing we do makes her happy. We'll hold her... and she'll cry and fuss, or rock her, and she'll kick and fight and whack us with her little arms. I've tried singing to her, laying her down for a few minutes while she cries, laying my head against her tummy so she can play with my hair while she falls asleep (and occasionally this works.) But sometimes there's just nothing that works at all. Is letting her cry a horrible cruel thing to do (even though holding her really won't stop it?)
 

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Discussion Starter #2
Finally got her to nurse to sleep. I think that only worked because she was already overtired from crying so long. *sigh*
 

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My son started that at about that age. No great word of advice, just wanted to offer support. We kept sane by trying new things to get him to sleep: new songs, new ways to rock, different holding techniques. A baby who fights sleep can be tough.
 

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My baby is just a couple of weeks younger than yours, and he has a lot of trouble transitioning to sleep too and often needs a lot of help. He is just too busy and curious to sleep even though he obviously desperately needs to sleep. He gets really overstimulated and can sometimes cry and scream A LOT if I don't catch him before he goes around the bend. Yesterday it was warm and we had the windows open, and I was actually worried someone might call CPS or the police because it could have sounded to someone like we were physically abusing him...no exaggeration.<br><br>
Anyway, when he gets like that I just try to help him block things out by taking him in a dark room and turning on a fan. Most times that is enough to bring things down a few notches. Then, I sit in the glider and offer to nurse, but if he has nursed recently, like within the hour, he won't go for it. Then I swaddle him and rock him. I usually sing to him until he is nice and relaxed and quiet, then I stop so he can drift off to sleep.<br><br>
I know it can be really demoralizing at times to hold a screaming crying baby because you just want to make it better because mamas are supposed to be able to make it all better. But sometimes they just need to cry and nothing works and all you can do is be there for them and that is okay. That's been a hard thing for me to come to terms with because my first child could have been soothed by nursing always. Having this little dude has been rather humbling.
 

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When DS was first learning how to crawl and exploring his own space, he had lots of trouble settling to sleep. It took a month or so and he was able to settle again, for the most part. I think it's just the age. I do/did all sorts of things - got up and took him for a walk, even late at night. Put him in the bath. Got up and played on the floor. I would stand on my head and juggle with my feet if it made him happy.
 

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I second the get him outside suggestion of the pp. We put DD2 in the mei-tai and take her outside. This usually calms her right down. When they are learning new things they get so excited it makes it hard for them to want to sleep. Hard on us though.
 

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My first dd wasn't always able to be consoled. For some babies, you won't always be able to "fix" it, but you can still comfort them while they're crying. There's a value to simply holding them and giving them love so they don't have to go through it alone, even if you can't stop the crying.
 

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All of my kids were always very soothed by being walked outside, when they got overstimulated and overtired like that. I used to just put them in a carrier or over one shoulder and go for a long walk.
 

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At about the same age as your baby, my daughter actually began doing much better when put down by herself, a little drowsy and was able to settle herself down. Not so much in a cry it out, sleep training sort of way, but because she preferred it. When she started to have difficulty settling down in my lap, and in bed with me, I started putting her into the crib for naps (she still slept with me at night, but because for many children, daytime sleep isn't the same as nighttime sleep, having someone in the bed with her during the day was just distracting and overstimulating.) I was sad to lose the co-napping, but I know it was better for her, and I eventually grew to appreciate the baby-free time to do two handed chores, to take a nice, hot shower, and so on.<br><br>
You may want to try and catch her early sleep cues, too. My daughter's first sleep cue, before she rubs her eyes or becomes fussy is to put her hands behind her head in the same position she slept in as a newborn. If we catch the early sleep cue, it's easier to put her down without a fuss.
 

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Discussion Starter #10
I'll have to give the walking outside a try. The only problem is that it's still cold here at night (39 degrees).
 

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My baby girl will sometimes calm down if I just take her into the washroom and turn on the water (white noise). She likes to look at the shower curtain, or her reflection in the mirror, or the big blue bottle of Listerine :p (Just posted about calming techniques on my blog <a href="http://averygoodyear.net/?p=1167" target="_blank">here</a>, actually <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> )<br><br>
Good luck!
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>funfunkyfantastic</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13662501"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I'll have to give the walking outside a try. The only problem is that it's still cold here at night (39 degrees).</div>
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No problem – just throw a shawl over both of you or wear one of your husband's coats zipped over the little one in the carrier. I walked all through a Canadian winter and never had my son get cold.<br>
When my son won't nurse down for a nap it's the only thing that works.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>riverscout</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13661183"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Yesterday it was warm and we had the windows open, and I was actually worried someone might call CPS or the police because it could have sounded to someone like we were physically abusing him...no exaggeration.</div>
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My husband and I were worried about the same thing yesterday <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Mine is only 2 months and has been fighting sleep since he was a few weeks. Its obvious he's exhausted and he'll start to drift off and then the eyes will fly open. He gets super cranky too. The one thing that works sometimes, though not always, is to put him in his swing and set it so it swings side to side and turn his "sleep sheep" (white noise machine toy) really loud to falling rain or waves. The other nite he was screaming his head off and I put him in the swing, turned on the sheep and he was out cold before I was done snapping him in.
 

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I know this might elicit some head-shaking, but this works for us:<br><br>
When nursing, singing, white noise, etc doesn't work with DS, DH turns on BPM TV (dance music video station). The strong beats and dancing people (he seems to love dancing) grab and keep his attention. Usually about halfway through the first song his eyes are drooping, and he's asleep by the end.<br><br>
It's not something we do every day, but it works like a charm when he's overtired and REALLY fighting sleep.
 

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Especially when a baby is overtired, sometimes I've just had to accept that they're going to cry. The usual things are on offer for comfort (nursing, holding, cuddling, quiet songs, during the day the stroller or the baby carrier), but I avoid going crazy with entertainment to stop the the crying since that just makes them more tired.<br><br>
It's hard. DS just went through a particularly rough time recently, but a lot has been going on for him and for our family. Sometimes he'd wake up and be inconsolable at night, always though, it felt way longer to me and DH than it actually was.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>andielk72</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13662882"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">My husband and I were worried about the same thing yesterday <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Mine is only 2 months and has been fighting sleep since he was a few weeks. Its obvious he's exhausted and he'll start to drift off and then the eyes will fly open. He gets super cranky too. The one thing that works sometimes, though not always, is to put him in his swing and set it so it swings side to side and turn his "sleep sheep" (white noise machine toy) really loud to falling rain or waves. The other nite he was screaming his head off and I put him in the swing, turned on the sheep and he was out cold before I was done snapping him in.</div>
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BTDT!! First son really didnt care for the swing. That same swing has helped me keep my sanity with second son!
 

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Crying in your arms is completely different than crying alone.<br><br>
Sometimes we cannot stop the crying, at least they can cry in a loving pair of arms, when nothing else has worked.<br><br>
My DS has always fought sleep. What works best for us when he is overtired/overstimulated is a whole combo of things... white noise, dim/dark room, rocking, patting his bottom, jiggling. He usually calms down within a few minites and nurses to sleep. If it's been 10 minutes and he hasn't calmed down, I put him down (if he will allow it) or play with him in my lap, and then try again a few minutes later.<br><br>
He can't have ANY stimulating things to look at or hear or he won't calm down. I think if we had a better nap/nighttime routine he would fight it less, but by the time he is showing signs of tiredness, its usually too late for him. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll">
 

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I don't have time to read all the responses..here's my 2 cents. I nurse baby to sleep most of the time...if he's crying he usually wants to nurse as well, then he'll sleep. If he's not hungry and won't sleep I put in him my Kozy carrier and he loves it..he quits crying right away. He knows if he is in it that we're going somewhere and he LOVES going places..like the store or on a walk. When he starts getting upset I sing his favorite songs to him and sometimes that'll help. Sometimes I distract him with tickles and kisses in his "giggle spots". He likes it when his stuffed animals "kiss" him and his giggle spots. If he's just "gone" with the crying, we go through everything..do it all to find something to work. Sometimes I just hold him and he cries..don't know why...I think sometimes it's his tummy and sometimes he's tired and just won't sleep bc he's got crawling on his mind. I drink chamomile tea sometimes and it helps calm him (he's bf). This was a life saver when he was having tummy trouble...really helped him sleep at night. He likes walking around in my arms, "walking", rolling, playing. I notice he really does not like just being held while sitting down anymore..he wants to be "doing" things. I know this doesn't work for bedtime. Bedtime..the tea, rocking, singing softly, stroking his arm, telling him stories. If he cries while you hold him at least he knows he can count on you...he'll eventually fall asleep from the exaustion. It's not wrong of u to put baby in the crib to cry it out. I've done that b4 when I was too exausted to function anymore. Good luck to u, this will pass. It will get better.
 

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This article really helped me and taught me that crying in arms is sometimes an important part of a babies day. It's like when you come home from a tough day at work and need to vent to your partner, but babies can only cry they can't tell us that they are having a hard time learning how to crawl or they just can't get the hang of chewing a green bean. So they sometimes just need to cry to relieve the stress of the day, in the arms of a loving care giver.<br><br><a href="http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/bonding/connection.html" target="_blank">http://www.mothering.com/articles/ne...onnection.html</a>
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>hotharmony</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/13674932"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">This article really helped me and taught me that crying in arms is sometimes an important part of a babies day. It's like when you come home from a tough day at work and need to vent to your partner, but babies can only cry they can't tell us that they are having a hard time learning how to crawl or they just can't get the hang of chewing a green bean. So they sometimes just need to cry to relieve the stress of the day, in the arms of a loving care giver.<br><br><a href="http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/bonding/connection.html" target="_blank">http://www.mothering.com/articles/ne...onnection.html</a></div>
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i also loved that article!<br><br>
going outside also helps my ds sometimes. when he was an NB dh would put him in the sling and just walk around the yard with him til he was asleep.
 
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