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<p>One night is usually fine. I can handle (ack, or am I stuffing?) my emotions for about 24 hours. The two overnights often result in me acting out through one of my vices or feeling low emotionally.  I work when they're with their dad. I am active in my church (UU, in case you were wondering). I try to get to a free classes at the nature center, health food store etc I work out at the gym. Most of this activity is fairly recent - just since last fall but the bad behavior has persisted since we split. I'm not dating and I don't have any single gfs irl.</p>
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<p>I try to focus on the task at hand, be thankful for the alone time I need and get. . . I miss close companionship in those longer stretches.</p>
 

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<p>when ds was doing overnights i was the same way. 1 night was good, 2 nights was hard on me. it sounds like you are finding some good activities to pre-occupy yourself. we can always help keep you accountable for spending your free from kids time in healthy ways.<img alt="hug2.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1334725401818_164" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif"></p>
 

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<p>I agree...though how I cope is just burying myself in work...I am told it gets easier, but....<img alt="hug.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1334726344728_165" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug.gif"></p>
 

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I can understand this....its hard to adjust to, no matter how often it happens. All I can do is keep busy as much as possible<br><br>
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<p><span><img alt="hug2.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1334734716856_164" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/hug2.gif">2 nights can be difficult to fill. Are the kids gone the same 2 nights every week, is it every week they are gone? </span>So like every fri/sat night or tues/wed night?   If its the same nights and they are 2 nights in a row that does make it a little easier to plan things.  </p>
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<p>Most classes are offered weekly, can you sign up for a group of classes -like a 6/8 week session of something for one night.  Make a total outing of out, go for a walk in the afternoon, stop for a light dinner at the cafe then the class?</p>
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<p>The second night maybe hit up a bookstore or craft store for an hour.  I know the barnes and noble by me has classes during the week, also the library has adult stuff at night. (both free)</p>
 

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<p>I can't live without my dogs when my kids aren't around.  I never thought I would be one of those people who uses animals as a substitute for children, but in a way I do.  Having pets gives me someone to love and care for when I can't nurture my kids.</p>
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
<p>Always comforting to know I'm not alone.</p>
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<p>This time is particularly hard. I cried last night. I'm having a garage sale this weekend and just priced the bin with their old toys. More weeping. Perhaps I'm experiencing a surge of hormones, making this time extra difficult. I did emotional eat last night. I'm on Weight Watchers and you can imagine how fun that is to record your emo eating even if it is healthy food.</p>
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<p>Our visitation is</p>
<p>Week one Tuesday overnight, Friday, Saturday overnight</p>
<p>Week two Tuesday, Wednesday overnight</p>
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<p>I don't think it is a matter of getting involved in something else. Today, I work from 9-1. Work (alone) in a friend's garden - we trade garden work for massages and I'm putting some in the bank today. <span><img alt="thumb.gif" id="user_yui_3_4_1_2_1334753933143_151" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/thumb.gif" style="width:23px;height:18px;"></span> Work out if time allows. Go to weight watchers meeting at 630. Go to health food store class at 7. My days w/o kids are all full.</p>
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<p>I need to find a single girlfriend. All my friends are married and while I really love them, they are generally doing family time in the evenings. When we do get together for adult weekend time, everyone is coupled.  It'd be great to just BE with someone when the kids are away. So I guess what I really need is a single gf whose visitation schedule matches mine.  No idea where to meet single moms. My church doesn't have a singles group. Most of the members are older. It's the only church of it's kind in town and I'm not switching. I have found a few singles groups but they are Bible study oriented and I am not a Christian. I suck at striking up convos with people in public, so unlikely I would meet someone at the gym or park. I'm working on that skill, but I'm at the smiling at strangers stage, have a long way to go.</p>
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<p>I think there is  website called  meetup.com that has lists of things going on in town.  I haven't done it yet but I have plans for my next town.</p>
 

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<p><br>
 </p>
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>DeerMother</strong> <a href="/community/t/1350946/when-dc-are-gone-for-two-nights-sometimes-i-dont-deal-so-well#post_16951058"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style=""></a><br><br><p> </p>
<p>I need to find a single girlfriend. All my friends are married and while I really love them, they are generally doing family time in the evenings. When we do get together for adult weekend time, everyone is coupled.  It'd be great to just BE with someone when the kids are away. So I guess what I really need is a single gf whose visitation schedule matches mine.  No idea where to meet single moms. My church doesn't have a singles group. Most of the members are older. It's the only church of it's kind in town and I'm not switching. I have found a few singles groups but they are Bible study oriented and I am not a Christian. I suck at striking up convos with people in public, so unlikely I would meet someone at the gym or park. I'm working on that skill, but I'm at the smiling at strangers stage, have a long way to go.</p>
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<p><br>
I have the opposite problem. All my friends are single and childless. They don't get that I can only meet up with DS, or when he's away. (I'm not a babysitter fan, mostly because I don't have money to spend on one, and I don't have a good one in my new-ish city)</p>
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<p>DM - I tried to use meetup to meet some new people. In my city there was also a single mommies group that might be good. I also contacted a couple of single moms on OKC even.</p>
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<p>It was really hard on me at first but now I sort of enjoy the time to myself to do adult things.</p>
 
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