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my husband and i have three children, 6, 2 and 4 months. we are finished, and very happy with the three that we have. i have just been in shock for the last year or so, that for so many people, 3 kids is an unheard of number! i get looks and stares when i take all of the kids with me to the mall or grocery store. when did three kids become a large family? in a perfect world, i would actually like to have 5, and even that does not seem like so many. unfortunately i have fibromyalgia, and it makes pregnancy so hard on me, that i have had to re-evaluate my family. i am an only child, so i can understand why my parents think that three is a lot, but i just dont see it as a large family until you pass the 5 kid mark. am i alone? do the rest of you see three as being a "large" family? wow, that was very non-linear, i must be sleepy!
 

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My mom taught us that three kids made a big family way back in the 80's. She also made a lot of comments about how the neighbors with four kids had way to many, looking back that may be because the kids were always dirty, hurt, hungry, and somewhat ignored. I only know one person who has two kids at this point and I know a lot of families. Whenever it happened, it is something that many people believe.
 

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i don't think 3 is a big family, i think it's perfect. that said i don't know many people with more then 3 kids. Most have 2 or 3.
 

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I was pretty surprised when I had my third and realized that it was considered a "large family" -- I consider it "medium" at most. It really is a prevalent idea... and even many people who think three is a pretty average amount of children to have then think four is a lot. People either think you're superhuman if you have three or more - or they think you're irresponsible. Neither one is accurate, for us at any rate!!<br><br>
Then again, my Dh is one of four brothers, and I am one of five. I imagine that many people, coming from smaller families, would think that that is huge, when to us, it was just us and our sibs. It feels pretty normal to me.
 

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I think of families with three kids as larger than average but not large per se...if that makes any sense <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment">. Most families have no more than two, so having three is a bit outside the norm. However, don't think I'd use the term "large family" unless there were at least 4 or maybe even 5 kids.
 

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Don't they know that 3 is the new 2? <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br>
Seriously, there was a huge article about that in some major magazine, I forget which, when I was pregnant with #3 and dh and I had a good laugh about that.
 

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Ours are: 4, (just turned) 2, and 1.5 yo. And I'm pregnant, very obviously these days. We get all kinds of looks and "tsks." Esp since I'm only mid-20's and look maybe even younger. *sigh* I think I get the "Wow, you're really busy," comment every day I take them out of the house. Oh well; I just chalk them up to RUDE!
 

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I think it depends on where you live. I have 3, and it is considered a bigger family. In urban areas I think smaller families are more common (I live in a city, and the four homes across the street from me are occupied by only children, the rest of the houses with kids on my block are two kid families except for us.), and on the coasts smaller families are more common. The people I know in exurban or rural areas are far more likely to have 3 or 4. Even here in city, 3 is not unthinkably large. Just big. 1=small, 2=medium, 3=big. More=crazy, which is too bad, but that's the way people think.
 

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I never though I came from a large family or that we have a large family. Three children used to feel just right, but honestly, I now feel I have room in my heart for another one or two!
 

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It is odd that three kids is considered big. When I think back, I can think of very few families that had 2 or fewer kids. In fact mine is probably one of only 3 families. Now we are on the low end of the scale for number of kids with the people we know. We know one person who has 1 kid, two who have 2 (including us). Everyone else has three or more.
 

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I have a similar spread, 6y, one turning 3 this week, and a 5m old. I didn't think 3 children was a large family either until #3 was born, I don't get *that* many comments and looks but I do know a lot of people with 3 kiddos, more then with 2. Maybe it is more common in my rural area. The looks I get while out with another mom with 3 kids with mine in tow as well are quite a few though!
 

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My boyfriend has 3 kids from a prior marriage, I have one from a prior marriage and we have a little one together. You should see the looks when we go out with five kids!<br><br>
It's true though, somewhere along the line, 2 became the standard or "maximum" and people seemed to decide that they could voice their opinions about <i>your</i> family as well.
 

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I've been getting this with being pregnant with twins. "Oh, how nice you'll be done now!"<br><br>
It kind of upsets me, actually.
 

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I get it a lot- particularly, the comment that I have my hands full <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">: I think it's bizarre that I have time to teach my children the manners that THEIR parents, obviously, forgot <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">:
 

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I grew up in south Florida. I always thought of 2 or 3 as the average number of kids. (Most of the families I know were aiming for 2 and had a little surprise.)<br><br>
Then I moved to the Midwest in my late 20's and remember being a little shocked by all of the families of 4, 5, and 6. Not judgmental shocked, just look at how common it is shocked.<br><br>
Now I see 5 and up as big. Basically any family that needs something bigger than a mini van seems like a large family to me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><br><br>
I have to say that if I had started my family when I was in my 20's, I would probably have a "large" family too. As it stands now, we have 2 and are open to a 3rd, if my clock doesn't run out first.<br><br>
I suppose if I saw my kids as an expense, and I was working and having to pay for day care and juggle schedules I would find any more than 2 a bit crazy. I think that's were the folks I know that think 3 is large are coming from.
 

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Here in Utah, 3 is actually kinda smallish. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I've got four VERY spread out (19, 16, 8, and 1.5) and whenever I'm out with The Littles I inevitably get some comment about 'ohh they're cute NOW but just WAIT till their TEENAGERS!'. I usually say well, these are #3 and #4...kiddos 1 and 2 are 16 and almost 20...<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/eyesroll.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="roll"><br><br>
People have VERY interesting reactions at that point. It's really funny...and it's all usually about how we must be 'done' now (ummm no, we want more for sure!!) and how 'lucky' we are to have spaced them like that etc. Oh...and I ALWAYS get the 'hands full' commentary. Blech!<br><br>
I'd say 1-2 is average around here. Whenever I take my nieces and nephew with my brood I get loads of funny looks hauling the six of 'em all over town!
 

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I come from a family with 3 kids and I never thought of us as a big family, just average. But I think having less children is becoming the norm due to women working so much more and just the overall economy. Two incomes are needed by a majority of families and women are also having kids later in life. We could never afford 3 daycare tuitions and I would have to stay home for a long time.<br><br>
My youngest brother was a "surprise" and came along 10 years after my mom thought she was done. It was a great accident, though!
 

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I have a boy and a girl, and I often get those comments about, "Oh, how nice, you're done now!" Sort of implying that the only reason to have a larger than two kids family would be to try for a girl or try for a boy. (I want more kids, most days, by the way).<br><br>
Most of my classmates in school were from two kid families, but I also had several friends from 4 kid families, so only 5+ seems like "large family" to me.
 

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We have 4 and when we decided to have the 4th most people assumed we had lost our ever loving minds. I would LOVE 1 more but I can't have another one for medical reasons and Dh is pretty firm that we are done.
 
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