Mothering Forum banner

1 - 9 of 9 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
21 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
So, I was wondering how long did it take for you to feel like dating after your relationship ended?<br><br>
At first, I REALLY wanted to date someone. I did end up going on a blind date and it was ok. Now, however, I really don't feel like dating. I realize that someday I will feel like dating again. So, when did you start to date again, if you have started, that is. And if you haven't gone on dates, how long has it been since your relationship ended?<br><br>
I'm just curious, I hope that I don't offend anyone with this post. That isn't my intention <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shy.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="innocent"> .<br><br>
Thank you mamas!<br><br>
Edited to add: I really do want more children, but feel like I don't want a relationship with a man for awhile. I know that many women have kids in their 30s and 40s but I'm worried about the age gap between the kids I have now and possible ones in the future. I know, I know, I shouldn't worry about it. But, like my mother, I tend to be a worry wort, lol.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,157 Posts
It's been 3 years since we've separated and I just started dating for the first time a couple months ago.<br><br>
In the past, the loneliness at the beginning of a break up have led me dating & other relationships quickly. I think because I didn't have time to work out what happened in the relationship or heal myself, I continued to choose men that were not really what I was looking for and I kept getting into the "wrong" kinds of relationships.<br><br>
I feel much healthier having had time to myself the past 3 years. I worked through the loneliness & found that I like being alone & I like who I am. I am much healthier to date now & find I have attracted very different men than ever before.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
397 Posts
I waited until after we signed the actual divorce papers which was 6.5 or 7 months after the relationship ended approximately. Also, I waited until I knew I could honestly say I was not interested in being romantically involved with my ex.<br><br>
I think this is kind of a learning process for me. I never was in any sort of normal dating relationship in my past, so it is kind of new and fun. Right now I am hoping to make a bunch of friends and that is about it. If something more happens that would be nice too though.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,572 Posts
I think for every person it is different. The issues from the previous relationship are also a BIG influence on when you might feel ready. And, I also totally agree with Brussel, be 150% sure that you are over your ex. It is not fair to you, or your potential new partner, if you are still harboring hopes of getting back with your ex.<br><br>
I also found that once I started to date, there were certain issues that I would not have realized until I did start dating. But, I am also still in therapy, because 1) I love therapy, 2) I want to make sure that I have healed properly and as completely as possible.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,394 Posts
I had a good friend online that I saw a few times after my ex moved out, but there was a huge distance issue. He did help me get myself together emotionally and helped me work through a lot of the baggage I had from my marriage..so I was ready when I met my dp..I met him a little over a year after my ex and I separated.<br><br>
It is very important you give yourself time to heal from your wounds...regardless of whether it is a right decision, divorce/ending a relationship is still a "death" and you still have to grieve its passing and understand why before you are ready to move onto the next, or you will carry your past with you, and that is not always a good thing.<br><br>
I am 38, I had my last child at 34, there is a 6 year difference between his sister and him and 8 years between he and his brother, yet they are all very close and spend a lot of time together.<br><br>
Be patient, mama.. your heart will know when it is the right time for you.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,155 Posts
Well I was single basically my entire pregnancy and then when Hunter was 8 months old, I met someone (a cousin of a friend of mine) and we dated for a year on and off but he lives 8 hours away and it just died after time.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,187 Posts
I tried dating about two months ago (a mere 3.5 months after I left the ex) on the poor advice of a now-fired counselor. It was not a good experience. The guy was actually a great guy, but I was not the in right emotional place to be dating at all - extremely vulnerable and love-starved. I decided not to date for awhile even though I would really like to because I'm not strong enough emotionally to handle the ups and downs of even the most basic dating relationship.<br><br>
As the others have mentioned, I think the timing depends more on individual circumstances than actual days/weeks/months since you left the relationship.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
184 Posts
We separated in January. I have NO desire to date. I am just not ready. I cannot stand my ex and I am soooo bitter. He frustrates me to no end. I have NO intentions of getting beck together with him.<br><br>
I too want to have more babies. I have one son who is 10 months. I get bummed when I think about not having more babies. It's also hard because all of my mommy friends are married. I feel like the only single one.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
69 Posts
Been apart for 9 months and I don't feel quite ready yet. We haven't finalized yet and I think I need that for closure. Also, I don't want to give stbx any fuel for the fire, because he's already made so many accusations that are entirely untrue. That's just how he deals with his butt load of guilt.<br><br>
I am starting to feel lonely, though. My friends are married and 2 are preggo. I have one that is single, but she is into partying and I was done with that years ago. Guess I'm just at the edge of wanting to go out, but not ready to take the plunge.
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Top