[TopHat]

My DD is 12 months, and to me she's still a baby, so I'm still nursing on demand. I have a friend, however, who feels that nursing on demand after the age of 1 is unhealthy.

So I was thinking- when did you stop nursing on demand? I have a friend who is nursing her 23 month old and she said she still nurses on demand, though sometimes she has to finish something (eg. drying a dish) so she'll ask her daughter to wait a couple of minutes, but nothing more than that.

What are your experiences?

 

[sunnygir1]

I don't remember, exactly, but I think around 18 months.

I probably started distracting her earlier than that...If I didn't want to nurse, and didn't think she really needed it, I would just try to get her into something else.

She may have been closer to two before I started telling her no. She's 25 months now, I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and she is pretty much down to:
1) on waking
2) naptime
3) bedtime
and sometimes another one or two in there.
Some days she wants more, and others not. If she is sick I let her nurse more.

For me there are two big factors here, the child's ability to understand and reason about what's happening, and the child's nutritional needs. At 12 months, breastmilk was still a HUGE portion of dd's diet, and I think had an important balancing effect because she didn't eat a balanced diet at that point.

I guess I fall somewhere in between the two women you mentioned.

 

[closedaccount15]

DD just turned 2. I play it by ear depending on the situation. I nurse on demand, but I ask her to wait while I finish eating or if I am in the middle of something. I do try to distract her first if I can, too. Sometimes I truly thinks she nurses because maybe her mouth bothers her (she is getting the last set of molars) so I get her involved in a toy or take her outside when I can to distract her. If she asks more than a few times and/or seems upset, then I nurse her. Nursing is a HUGE part of her diet though, she really eats no solid food, she would much rather nurse, so I can't set a schedule really, but I do need to gently guide her fill up on solid food more. I kind of trust my gut on whether she needs immediate attention from me or not.

 

[justthinkn]

I started setting a few reasonable limits around 18mo's - I felt like I couldn't even play on the floor with her without that inspiring her to latch, and it was bugging me a lot. So I started limiting nursing to bed or our comfortable red couch - if she wanted to nurse, I'd say, sure, want to move to the couch? Half the time, yes, half the time, no. It wasn't traumatic at all - I still felt like I communicated a positive attitude about nursing - and she still nursed plenty! Now I can ask for a few minutes to finish something else at times, too, and DD knows I'll come when I'm done.

I think somewhere around 18mos, many moms find their LOs starting to be more able to handle the relationship having more give and take, instead of all give on the mom's side!

 

[_betsy_]

I eat when I'm hungry, and drink when I'm thirsty, regardless of what the clock says. Why shouldn't a baby?

 

[Penny Puss]

Quote:

Originally Posted by sunnygir1 For me there are two big factors here, the child's ability to understand and reason about what's happening, and the child's nutritional needs.

I think suunygirl1 has a great reply.

I also starting distracting dd at 18 months. He wasn't getting a ton of milk from me anyway, so I think it was mostly a comfort thing. I (and dh) found other ways to comfort him, and it has gone fine. He still nurses a few times a day, but is flexible.
With all due respect for the myriad of different opinions out there, I don't see a reason to nurse on demand any longer than 15 months (barring unusual circumstances), especially if you are tired of it.
Yes, when I am hungry, I eat. And when a 15 mo. old is hungry, there are other things for her/him to eat than off your breast.

 

[alegna]

Around 2. It was important to me to nurse at least that long. And dd was not interested in solids so it was more important to her than some babies who get a lot of nutrition from solids.

-Angela

 

[imbarefoot]

Quote:

Originally Posted by TopHat So I was thinking- when did you stop nursing on demand?

Never...

ETA: Well, now that I think about this, I did do some encouraging of other activities if it was really inconvenient to nurse. But not until my daughter was two-ish.

 

[Sharlla]

I stopped when I when I weaned him at 24 months.

 

[mama2jack]

I started telling ds no/ we need to wait a few weeks ago (he is 30 mo) I was getting so burnt out and tired of being touched. He still nursed 2-4 times a day + night time. Cutting it down has improved out nursing relationship and is helping me from feeling so worn out.

 

[Rico'sAlice]

Around 18mo I started discouraging him from nursing at his activities. I just got tired of going to all this trouble to take him swimming, or play group or whatever and then we would spend the whole time popping on and off the boob. And then it would be over and he basically missed out. (And he had been offered solids to eat and nursed before going.) I started bringing a sippie of water and offering that instead. And then if he insisted that he needed to nurse I would take him somewhere away from the activity. So he stopped associating those times/places with nursing.

At home if nothing much is going on he'll still nurse like an infant, and the boob is available all night so he's still getting tons of BM. But he's stopped asking at activities and as a result is participating much more and being more social. I do still nurse on demand if it's an activity for *me* though- like we're stuck in a waiting room or we're out shopping.

 

[mom2threenurslings]

When did I stop nursing them on demand? When they weaned. So far 2 of my 5 kids have weaned (one at age 5 and one at age 7).

Now, that doesn't mean that I drop everything I'm doing everytime they ask to nurse. If I'm going to the bathroom, cooking, or am in the middle of something, I ask the child (over age 2) to wait a minute while I finish up/get to a place where I can take a break and then nurse them.

 

[kiwiva]

I haven't really stopped nursing on demand, though probably around 18 months I started not dropping everything immediately to accommodate. Once she was old enough to have some understanding, I thought that was reasonable. DD is an avid nurser at 2.5. Some days she "demands" all.the.time. In those cases, if she isn't ill or something, I offer suggestions for other things to do instead but if she really does want to nurse she nurses.

I don't think there is a particular age anyone could say after which it is unhealthy.

 

[leighann79]

I don't remember for sure, but it was after 2 years.

At that point I would just put her off for a time. I didn't start trying to get her to do something else until after 3 (I was also pregnant by that point and needed the break for my poor nipples.

)

 

[churndash]

Pretty early..under a year, I think. It's been a while.

I viewed nursing primarily as nourishment, not comfort, so basically if it was a situation where I wouldn't give a pacifier, I wouldn't give my boob either. For comfort, I'd give hugs and kisses. Once they could drink out of a cup, I gave them expressed milk in a cup.

But I'm sure my situation is not representative of the norm. In truth, I didn't really enjoy nursing and only did it because I knew it was the nutritionally best option.

 

[SparklingGemini]

DD is 21 months.

We still nurse on demand. And sometimes, I remind her too because not offering is still a weaning technique and I definitely don't want her to wean before 2.

Yes, there are times when I need her to wait for minute but I never flat out refuse.

 

[Carita]

mostly we are on demand, but we have boundaries - maybe since 15 mo or so. he's not permitted to flash me in public, so he does have to wait until we are in a better place. Sometimes he is pulling down my shirt because he is hungry - not for BM, but for solids... So sometimes I redirect him so I can finish dinner up and get it out. YKIM?

If he really wants to nurse at home, I don't think I ever say no. He is only nursing 4-6x/day though.

 

[Maela]

Around 12 months, I stopped dropping everything immediately to nurse her the minute she asked. But I would only make her wait a few minutes if I had to.
Around 18 months I started offering solid food/water or to play with her (if we weren't already playing) first when she asked to nurse. This was also when my nipples started really hurting from pg. If she continues to ask, I nurse her.
There are still times when I ask her if it's been several hours (like more than 5) or if I can tell she needs some mama time.

 

[ShadowMoon]

Ds just weaned around Jan/Feb. He is 28 months now. I almost always bf'd on demand. However, he only nursed at certain times during the day. That definitely made it easier to do so.

 

[sapphire_chan]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rico'sAlice Around 18mo I started discouraging him from nursing at his activities. I just got tired of going to all this trouble to take him swimming, or play group or whatever and then we would spend the whole time popping on and off the boob. And then it would be over and he basically missed out. (And he had been offered solids to eat and nursed before going.) I started bringing a sippie of water and offering that instead. And then if he insisted that he needed to nurse I would take him somewhere away from the activity. So he stopped associating those times/places with nursing. At home if nothing much is going on he'll still nurse like an infant, and the boob is available all night so he's still getting tons of BM. But he's stopped asking at activities and as a result is participating much more and being more social. I do still nurse on demand if it's an activity for *me* though- like we're stuck in a waiting room or we're out shopping.

This sounds like how I hope to handle things. I'm looking forward to the better physical coordination of the toddler years so Lina can do less on demand nursing and more at will nursing like she does at night.