[kayabrink]

This is not a biggie for me, I don't say anything to ds when he uses his fingers other than, occasionally, "try using your fork like mama/papa/whoever". Dh on the other hand really wants ds to use a fork to eat. And to not put his feet on the table (the kid has a real foot obsession). Is there anyway I can make this happen? I normally don't intervene at all while ds is eating, he's only 19 mo and I think it's rediculous to expect him to eat like a 25 year old! But to end the tension between dh and ds I would like to be able to say to dh "ds will eat normally when he's (insert age here)". Any advice on making this happen sooner rather than later?
TIA
Kaya

 

[Amylcd]

My dd went through a phase where she wanted to do everything like mommy - including eating with a fork. I went out and bought some toddler spoons & forks for her, and she used them for about a week and then lost interest. Just give it time, they'll use them when they are ready lol

 

[amybw]

Just keep suggesting it and one day it will kick in. All kids are different.

Maybe think of an age, like say 5, that you would like to be the latest. Does that make sense?

Same for the feet. Keep saying, "Our feet go on the floor at meal time, not on the table. " and show him. It will sink in I believe. I caution against saying to be like someone else. Makes me think of peer pressure. Just a pet peeve of mine. :LOL I want my son to be himself, but use a fork appropriately, not just because mommy and daddy do it, but that is how eating is done. Do i make sense? :LOL

My 17 mth old has been trying to use a fork off and on for a month or two. He is successful when he actually uses it to stab food like meat or veggie chunks. He even stabs bread with it. But he usually uses his hands first. He doesnt do so well with peas or corn.

It is a short little fork with a chubby handle and the outer tines are rounded with only the inner tines being pointy.

good luck!

Amy

 

[Houdini]

Our crew has been using forks and spoons since they were about 18 mths. We started them on toddler silverware. We were fairly insistent though. It was important to us they learn from an early age not to play with their food. We did have to help with the putting the food on the fork for awhile, until probably two. The spoon was harder b/c they liked to turn it upside down right before it went in their mouth. I would say whatever compromise you can come up with that suits both of you.
My niece was six and still eating everything with her fingers. They have no expectations and figure they will learn on their own eventually. My niece is now twelve and has been using silverware since shortly after she was six. Her sister is four and still using only her fingers.

 

[MoMommy]

My dd is 16 months and likes to use a spoon now. She either picks up the food and places it on her spoon, or scoops it with the spoon and then picks it up from the spoon with her fingers. Either way, it seems like most of it ends up in her lap!

 

[PancakeGoddess]

I think if you let a kid take her/his time with utensils but continue to OFFER them, it is very unlikely they are going to make it to 4-6yo without starting. I wonder if the kiddos in question were maybe not given utensils at each meal?

 

[justmandy]

I think if you start with food that is easy to scoop or poke they get the idea faster. My kids are also praise whores (can I say that?) so if I make a big deal of what a good job they are doing it seems like they stick to it more. DD was about 16 mos when my MIL gave her a bowl of mashed potatoes and a spoon, she did great. We started with DS around 14 mos and gave him hot dogs (sorry, they're easy

: ) and cooked carrots and fruit chunks, he feels so proud when he actually makes it to his mouth. I actually think it's easier for him to use his fingers but now it's a challenge now...boys

I really like the take and toss brand, they are plastic, cheap and great a shape for toddlers. Just keep offering and he'll get it!

 

[Henry's_Mamma]

My ds started using a spoon to self-feed yogurt, oatmeal, and other "sticky" stuff around 13 months. He started using a fork around 15 or 16 months. He tends to use his fingers more, now, basically b/c he's in a finger foods kick right now. But he can -- and does -- use utensils properly when he wants to. He actually does quite well with adult sized spoons, too.

I think like all things, every kid is different and it is a different milestone for each kid. Just keep offering and encouraging, and your ds will get it when he's ready.

Oh, as for spoons, for starter eaters, we liked the Gerber toddler spoons with the holes in the spoon part and a curved handle. For some reason, the food doesn't slide off as easily, and the curved handle keeps them from turning it upside down before it gets to their mouth. I still use them for messier foods like yogurt.

 

[Alkenny]

My 16 month old just started whining for our silverware when we're eating within the last couple of weeks. I gave him his own spoon and like a pp said, he usually picks food up with the opposite hand and places it on the spoon to eat it. Or he just plays with the spoon and continues to eat with the other hand.

 

[captain optimism]

My ds is 28 months and has been in a phase in the last month or two of wanting his hands wiped off. So I will say, "If you use your fork on the noodles, you won't get sauce on your fingers." this is effective, though sometimes he picks up the items with his fingers and puts them on the fork or spoon to eat! :LOL

He has been able to use utensils for much longer than he has been motivated to use them, is what I'm trying to say. I would rather have him eating peas and lentils the old way than skipping over them because it's too hard to get them on his fork, though.

 

[littleaugustbaby]

My DD (22 months) has to have one of her spoons or forks when she eats, even if it's finger food. Not that she actually uses the utensils to eat, though! :LOL She still eats everything with her fingers, but she just has to have her "boon" (spoon) when she eats.

 

[kayabrink]

Ok, I'm glad to get all your responses, so I can assure dh that ds is normal and not a total savage. We've given him ustensils since about 12 months, he actually mastered the fork before the spoon. The thing is dh gets all agressive and irritated if ds doesn't use them ALL the time.

I guess the problem is more in dh's head. He's French, and is very relaxed about everything except manners. Well, I guess I'll go report to dh...

:

 

[BathrobeGoddess]

I don't know if this will help at all but I did a small study about toddlers and spoon use. I identified that spoon use progressed in stages. Each child went through each stage in the same order BUT they were dfferent in the length of time each stayed in each stage. In the year I did the study, some children progessed through the stages quickly(>6months) while others had just made it to the final stage when I ended my study. Also, I found that using spoons did not really decrease the amount of exploring of the food, just changed the tools. I wasn't trying to teach them to use spoons, I was trying to see if child to child scaffolding helped the children learn. I found that it did.

 

[Houdini]

Quote:

Originally Posted by benjalo I think if you let a kid take her/his time with utensils but continue to OFFER them, it is very unlikely they are going to make it to 4-6yo without starting. I wonder if the kiddos in question were maybe not given utensils at each meal?

Sorry I was away for the weekend. I just wanted to answer this question. Yes they were given the utensils at each meal. They would completely ignore them. They didn't want to use them and their parents didn't care if they did or not.

 

[addiesmom]

My DD is a little over 2.5 yo and just over the past couple of months has she gotten really good at using her spoon. When it comes to "forkable" food, she still uses her hands most of the time. We offer the utensils at every meal and encourage her to use them, but the decision is hers. She can use her hands as long as she is not playing with her food. If she starts to play, then we tell her she should eat her food, or be excused from the table if she is no longer hungry. Feet are another issue we had when she was younger, and I would absolutely not allow it. If feet were put upon the table, she needed to get down. It didn't take her long to stop.

 

[celrae]

:LOL When my girls were 19 months they used forks ans spoons with expertise, now at three I don't know why I bother placing silverware on the table.

 

[Yooper]

We go in phases here. Dd did not start solids until 12 months. At that point we always had a fork, spoon, open-top cup of water with a tiny bit of actual water, and a cloth napkin on her high chair tray. At first she just played with them but started to mimic us as early as 13 months. She became competent with the fork first at about 15 months and the spoon later at around 18 months. The cup was almost immediate as was the napkin. Now at 22.5 months she will sometimes eat an entire meal with her utensils and other entire meals with her hand with most meals falling in between somewhere. The type of food does not seem to be a factor. We do not really care one way or another and sometimes have to be very patient in helping her with a difficult food on a day when she want to use utensils. Using utensils often makes more of a mess and distraction than the hands so if your goal is non-messing and calmer meals, you might want to keep things right at the pace your dc wants.

 

[homemademomma]

my 17 mo ds has been using spoons and forks for a few months. he always goes for the fork first, and is pretty good at getting stuff on it, but often times it gets accidentally dumped on the way to his mouth. he uses his hands a lot too, especially when he is really hungry. i dont push it at all, i just always have it available, and i remind him to use it. if he doesnt want to, no big deal.

 

[heket]

Quote:

Originally Posted by littleaugustbaby My DD (22 months) has to have one of her spoons or forks when she eats, even if it's finger food. Not that she actually uses the utensils to eat, though! :LOL She still eats everything with her fingers, but she just has to have her "boon" (spoon) when she eats.

Same with my dd (also 22mon), but usually it's her fork. She wants to use it for everything -- including ice cubes!

:LOL

I'm actually trying to get dd to use her hands more because when she doesn't, it makes for a VERY long meal time. There's times where even though I give her finger food, she insists on a utensil. I don't mind the practice time, but I wind up feeding her instead. Now that it's summer, though, she'll be able to practice more outside where I can hose off any messes.

 

[Tuesday]

It sounds like you're doing the right thing. I'd tell DH that you can't magically make him (if he doesn't understand this already) and don't worry - DS will soon enough be using utensils properly. Like everything else, exactly how and when a child learns is individual. Our DS just turned two and he uses a knife and fork (regular silverware type) at the table. I basically was too cheap to buy the little plastic ones so from early on, would hand him a dessert fork to use. He really likes to imitate us and I'd say it was the last 6 weeks that he started using the knife along with the fork. I didn't do anything than always set up his fork and knife just like "mommy's and daddy's. I've also had to remind my husband to use proper table manners (and I even browsed a table etiquette book - Miss Manners) because I didn't want to teach bad habits. (I've seen grown adults use fingers and spoons to eat roast beef and gravy - yuck.) I think all children eventually learn (like everything) at their own speed. Sounds like everything is normal!