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My daughter is 9 wks now. We cosleep, sling, etc. My babe is not too fussy (I wouldn't call her high needs) but she is physically attached to one parent or the other probably 20 out of 24 hours (she sleeps a few hours in the cosleeper at night). She's willing to be laid down alone, but only for short stretches, and then she cries.

Our problem is, when can we have time to be intimate? Even when she sleeps alone, she won't sleep if someone isn't in the room. We're taking her to a friend's house for a few hours later this week, but we can't ship her off to a babysitter every time we want to be together. Are we doomed to no sex life until she's older? What have y'all done?

Julia
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by dynamohumm6
:

We co-sleep. When he's asleep (he's almost 5 months), we have at it. He never notices, never wakes up, is completely oblivous to what's going on.
: Yep, same thing here. My babe is also very attached at 13 weeks and that's the only way. Though we did manage a real quickie in the LR, I swear she was timing us, she promptly woke up within 5 minutes of finishing up.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by cheeseRjedi
What Emmy said...

We usually goin the living room when she is asleep. We used to DTD on the bed while she was sleeping (when she was REALLY young only) and the rocking seemed to keep her calm.


: We "rocked" Sara to sleep one time!
She's usually completely oblivious to everything that goes on unless someone gets out of bed so we do DTD while she's there and she's 10months. I'm sure it will stop in another few months but she's passed out and she's a baby. It's not going to emotionally scar her.(in my opinion anyway)
On another note, if you aren't comfy with having the baby in bed with you while you get it on, here's an idea: Lay down with her in bed and nurse her down but make sure she's laying on a big blanket. When she's completely asleep, just have you and your hubby pick up the corners of the blankie and transfer her slowly and gently to another safe spot(laundry basket, floor if there arne't pets or whatever, bassinet, etc) leaving the bed free for lovin'! We did that a few times with Sara. Either that or I nurse her down and we put pillows around her so she doesn't fall off the bed and we go somewhere else. With a 5 year old and a now veryactive co-sleeping baby, it's tough. but that's what bathrooms, couches, washing machines(
: ), the baby's room
, etc are for!

Meg
 

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At that age we simply *didn't* find the time. No, you're not "doomed forever," but honestly except for once when the babe was about 2 weeks old, the high level of holding meant we didn't really, you know, until he was I think 3 1/2 months old or maybe even 4 1/2 months. And we don't even truly co-sleep -- there was just too much holding going on to get time! It does come back though.
 

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It took us 3 months to finally find time/energy to dtd after dd was born - I nursed her to sleep in our bed and then transferred her to her crib with the mobile on (we co-sleep - just put her there for the moment) - that didn't work -she woke up while dh and I were in the middle of our activity - and I had to get up and nurse her back to sleep and come back and wake dh up to resume our activity
- the second time was just the other night and it was easier to leave her asleep on the other side of the bed (we have a king) and she slept through everything.
 

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Gosh! At nine weeks that was the LAST thing on my mind. But dh and I had a quickie last night...we put ds in his Fisher Price bouncy/rocking chair and I knew we had a good fifteen minutes before he flipped. I have to say...that was the best fifteen minutes of my night
!
 

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Different time, different place, whenever kids are occupied.

When DS was tiny, we just had at it as soon as he was out. We can do the same thing now that DD is in the bed with us.

Like Lish said, "There's a reason they're called quickies!"
 

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For about 3 months we did it w/ him in the bed (he was alseep). Then he'd sleep in our bed w/o us, so we go to our guest rooms (or other rooms)... we have plenty of intimacy (daily).

You'll figure it out - at 9 weeks it's all still pretty new to you!
 

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I think my second was conceived on the floor of the downstairs bedroom while my older one watched the Wiggles in the living room! But that was, of course, when we were ttc. I doesn't have to be at night, or in bed. But yeah, I hear you on the velcro baby and lack of lovin'. It's been a problem for us because now they both have to be alseep at the same time!
 

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Q's 11 months old, and we roam all over the house, but we still DTD sometimes in bed while she's sleeping (we cosleep). She seems to have a 6th sense for the possibility of us creating some "competition"
but she's actually more likely to sleep through if we're in the same room. It's a king size bed, so we just put up a "visual barrier" with our body pillows.
 

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With #1 we used the double bed in the baby's room. Ostensibly it was for the baby and me, so dh could get a bit of sleep before trudging off to work in the a.m., but we co-slept. Now my ds DOES sleep in the double bed, and we just have to remind dd that sometimes we like to sleep just mama and daddy in the big bed. But invariably we awake w/her snuggled in by morning
She's ALWAYS been the snuggler. My ds is NOT. You will find something that works, just gotta be willing to live life a bit differently. How about a quilt on the floor by the bed (excellent since your dc isn't rolling or anything yet - then you get a whole NEW set of challenges!)? Or can you shove in a sidecar single bed and nurse baby to sleep there so you can have the bigger part of the bed? Good luck - and congrats on having ANY sex drive at all, mama!
 

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sex? what's that? we're lucky if I we get to cuddle here and there. We go in the guest room on the rare times we make an attempt, but I'm really not into it if I have to leave in the middle to go b-feed. Quite the turn-off for me. And no way could I do it with him in bed with us. I'd be too distracted and we'd both feel too wierd. We are actually just enjoying the baby so much that so far we haven't missed it much.


ETA: DS is 4 mos. tomorrow.
 
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