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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
DD is 3.5 years old. She's having some behavioral issues that have been escalating. How do you know when it is time for professional help?

And how do you find therapists who are on board with the whole AP approach to parenting?
 

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You can go for a meeting/interview/evaluation and see what you think. Ask a few basic question over the phone - what kind of therapy they do with kids, will the parent be present, do they take your insurance, how often are meds prescribed, etc.

You can ask your ped/family doctor for referrals as well as school counselor/social worker, friends, other AP parents, moms who attend LLL, etc.
 

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well, I know it's time when I can't deal with it own my own, or when it's really worrying me.

You can ask for recs in "finding your tribe", by the way.

In addition to asking people you know who do AP philosophy, INTERVIEW the therapists like you would someone you'd think about hiring. (After all, that's what you're doing.)

Ask the therapists what their philosophy is, whose work they follow and what kinds of treatment plans they recommend. Then look up the people they say they follow and see what you think.

After you ask them their philosophy, ask them about attachment parenting. Ask them how they feel about punishments and rewards or anything else you're concerned about.
 

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Generally if you are asking about, it can't hurt. You might not be at the point of needing it, but since there are no negative side effects to seeking help, if you want it then it's time. Of course, convincing your insurance company that it's something you need is a whole nother matter.

To find AP understanding/supportive/tolerant therapist you can, post in FYT or any local APish type board. Since AP style parenting is based on sound pychological research, there are many many AP friendly therapists out there.
 

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I can reply as an AP mama and a child psychologist. It's really hard to find someone who approaches behavioral issues while respecting AP. That being said, I am usually contacted when a family has tried several things and is still struggling with tantrums, transitions, toileting, feeding, "acting out", or any other issues that arise. I speak with the parent(s) for a 15 min consult to learn aobut their goals, give them a brief summary of my style/approach and see if they are interested. I do home-based work and will conduct a detailed interview for the first sesison plus paperwork and some checklists depending on the issue. Then I jump right in in real time, observe, make alterations to the current approach or introduce new strategies, create a specific plan for the family to try (making sure it is doable and that they are comfortable with it) and then follow up within days for another 15min phone consult.

Depending on the issue, family, child, etc....it can be 2 sessions, 10 sessions, or ongoing work. Either way, it is sometimes really great to have an outside and objective eye. You just have to be careful to make sure the professional has a solid grasp in the area of child developemnt, parenting, as well as respect for your AP views.

It is sometimes really hard to know if it's necessary, but if you have the financial resources to look into having some support...and you can find the right person, it would most likley be a good way to gain insight/inforamtion.
 

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I was concerned about this with my dd (same age as yours) for a while. I worried that she might have some sort of sensory difficulties that required intervention. I did talk to a few people about it, but what ended up persuading me that her "issues" were not an actual Problem, per se, is that she started preschool a few mornings a week. When I talked to her teachers, I learned that absolutely none of the troubling behaviors I was seeing at home were coming up at school. She had no difficulties whatsoever at school. I knew that a child who had a true sensory processing disorder wouldn't be able to turn that off at school. On our case, it was working on my relationship with her that really helped, plus of course the inevitable passage of time and changes that come with it. YMMV, but it was the school thing that decided it for me. HTH.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Thanks so much for all the responses. They are all very helpful.

To answer your question, Pheobe, I guess I'm just wondering what falls under the wide-ranging category of "normal" and what is extreme. And I think of seeing a professional as much training DH and me in ways to help DD navigate her issues as well as the prof helping DD herself. And I worry that there might be issues that could get worse. And that if we address them now, the road ahead will be easier, rather than waiting until things have gotten much worse.

Does that answer your question? Don't worry, I didn't take offense to it!!!

Leafwood, thank you so much for your response. It is really helpful to know from an insider how this all works. Finances may be an issue for us, but worth it if therapy helps.

I guess my first tactic will be to talk with her teacher - a woman I look up to because of her fabulous way of interacting with kids - and decide what our next steps are after we've talked with her.
 

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Quote:
I guess my first tactic will be to talk with her teacher - a woman I look up to because of her fabulous way of interacting with kids - and decide what our next steps are after we've talked with her.
sounds like a great place to start!!!!
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by eepster View Post
Generally if you are asking about, it can't hurt. You might not be at the point of needing it, but since there are no negative side effects to seeking help, if you want it then it's time.
Ditto.
 
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