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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
talia is 9+ mos now. & it's been a year since i've had a good night's sleep, i think. we co-sleep, which i love...but... i have become a very light sleeper, & no matter what positions i try, i wake up sore every morning. i have longstanding rotator cuff tendonitis in both shoulders, so i roll back & forth during the night to get off whichever shoulder is flaring up. w/tal in bed w/us, this means that i have to physically wake up & get up & over her. this disturbs her, so she rolls to face me again, & nurses back to sleep. this can happen 5-6 times during the night. i honestly think she'd sleep through if not for me!

so i'm wondering lately about getting her night-weaned, & beginning to move her out of our bed. her two older sisters share a room & there's an empty crib in there calling her name. right now, i've got some of her special soft toys in there & they're unique (a soft doll, etc.). she cries when i put her in it, though. right now i just try putting her in it wide awake, only while i'm in the room putting the girls' laundry away. she can see me the whole time...cries from the second our bodies separate til they're connected again. i should add that she is VERY attached to me, & i love it. but this also means that she has only been apart from me twice, both for about 20 minutes (these being times that i have actually left the house without her).

is it too early? should i wait til a year or so? i think it will be a long process to wean & move her. she sleeps tight up against me all night. & i do love it, & i know it's only a year or so in the long run, but wow, i could really use a solid night's sleep snuggled around my body pillow with nobody touching me & no baby on my sciatic nerve!

i'm just beginning to think seriously about all this & would love some input from btdt mamas.

our history--aliyah never co-slept officially. started every night in her crib, then in the middle of the night she'd end up in w/us. nina co-slept til 6 mos or so, then transitioned very easily to the crib--was desperate to be with aliyah! & neither of them were bf. so although talia is baby #3, i'm new to this situation.

wow, that's a novel. thanks for reading!!
 

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Have you checked out the book "The No-Cry Sleep Solution"? It helps you map a process for whatever scenerio you think would be best. You could go for complete night-weaning, or just reduce the number of feedings. It's a gradual thing, but you sound willing to do that. I don't remember when I started using it, but it was before 9 months and after 6 months. It helped me establish an earlier bed-time for my ds and reduce the number of his night wakings to about 2. Those were my goals at the time, so it worked for me. Once he was over a year we night-weaned totally, but NCSS was less helpful in that process. (I say "we" because my dh was key!
) I had long since stopped being able to sleep through nursings, and the exhaustion was was imparing my day-time mothering in a way I could no longer accept. I did wait until a year on purpose, though. I didn't want to force him to night-wean before that. Check out the book if you haven't already. It's full of good ideas that will help you improve your situation, even if you decide to wait to night-wean completely.
 

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Quote:
Originally posted by motherofpearls
i have longstanding rotator cuff tendonitis in both shoulders, so i roll back & forth during the night to get off whichever shoulder is flaring up. w/tal in bed w/us, this means that i have to physically wake up & get up & over her. this disturbs her, so she rolls to face me again, & nurses back to sleep. this can happen 5-6 times during the night. i honestly think she'd sleep through if not for me!

It sounds like it might be a bed-space issue and not a weaning issue.

DS is a round the clock nurser, but when we decided there was not enough room in our bed for all three of us, we took one side off his crib (unused until this point) and pushed up "side-car" style against our bed. He's happy with the new arrangement, and so are we - now when I roll over etc. he no longer wakes up. (Still nursing all night tho, but that's another thread...
: )

You could try something like this, and see if you actually need to worry about trying to wean, or if she WILL sleep thru, as you suspect, without the disturbances.
 

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When we night weaned and did the side-car-crib thing, we all got much more sleep. I went from sleeping 3 hours a night to 6-8.

It's 5:17 am. What am I doing up? Practicing for the new baby to come, most likely. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
thanks, mamas.

dh doesn't want the crib in our room. there's space, but not tons, & we had a twin side-carred for a while & it was a royal pita. we've got a king bed, & though we often wake up with ALL of us (including 2 dogs) in it, he doesn't want any other beds in the room.
:

i have heard of the ncss...been meaning to get that. thanks for the reminder!!
 

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I can lend my story and say that I agree with it being a space issue.

We co-sleep and still do (at 19M), but it's a modified version of being in the bed all night. And, I night weaned at 16 m.

Our son sleeps on a futon for the first half of the night and climbs into our bed when he wants. He doesn't nurse until the sun comes up (something that I still need to remind him of every night).

We started by putting the futon in our room and reading or singing on it around 12 months. Next, I had him take his naps on the futon. After a few months, I started putting him down on the futon and welcoming him to our bed when he wanted. During the trasition to sleeping on the futon, he was still nursing.

At about 16m, I decide that I really needed to not nurse at night. I had grown resentful and felt that this wasn't positive for eihter of us. So, we followed the same routine, but when he woke up, my husband offered him a drink from a cup. After the drink, he got into bed with us and I held him (be sure to wear a top). He cried hard the first and second night (it was very, very hard), but after 4 nights, he settled into our new routine. Now, he still wakes, but some days he sleeps on his own in his futon. Some times, he comes into our bed at very early. It really depends on what is happening with him and us.

I offer this as an example. I think it's whatever you need and can live with. I found a gradual approach worked well for us. Now, we have something that we can all live with. We get some time to be together as a couple, and some time to snuggle with our babe. The only thing that I'm strict on is not nursing at night. He still nurses when he wants during the day.

Hope this is helpful.
 

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I nightweaned at 20 months.....but still co-slept. My dh was sleeping on a futon in the living room off and on so that he could get enough sleep for work!!!! Just pulling the sheets would sometimes wake dd. We tried the side car bed for awhile, but I found myself falling asleep in the "crack" and waking up with an acheing (sp?) back! Dd has just started sleeping in her "side-car" bed at 3 and dh is in our bed again! I agree that it seems like a space issue...I don't quite understand tho....how come you just can't turn over as opposed to crawling over her? I had some weird shoulder stuff happening too. I found that massage and stretching during the day really helped. Although yours sounds pretty intense just by name. I hope that book has some helpful suggestions for you!
 
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