[tausborn]

I take baths with both of my daughters, who are currently aged 4-1/2 and 18 months. My husband also takes showers with both of them. We've been asked all sorts of question by my oldest daughter concerning our body parts and her body parts. I think it's great that we can be so open and natural with her (ultimately both of them).

I wonder, how old is too old for bathing with your children? I've read some people say it's always bad, and some say it's ok until they are two but only with the same gender. Some people say that it's child abuse and some say that it's against the law. I think some of these people are crazy, but I suppose there could be some strange laws out there.

What do you guys think? How old is too old to bath with your own child? Does the gender matter? Do you think anyone could actually get us in some kind of trouble?

 

[Potty Diva]

I voted it is always ok, until either child or parent starts to feel uncomfortable with it. Kailey is 2 1/2 and Mark and I still bath and shower with her. We use the bathroom with the door open. She is now very interested in seeing Mark use the potty. I think she thinks it amazing how he can make a waterfall

Although I doubt there are any laws regarding being naked around your child, I am sure someone could twist a story well enough for SS to be interested.

 

[HRC121799]

I said 5, but really, I am not sure! Ds will be 4 in December, and we still shower/bathe with him. I am wondering what kind of cues from him will say that he's done with it?

 

[Leatherette]

voted that it is always okay, as long as both parties are comfortable with it. I am sure there will be a natural progression away from it as my son grows older. He is three, and I get in the bath with him because it kills my back to bend over the tub to wash him. And I can usually stand to take a bath!

L.

 

[LunaMom]

Ditto...as long as both parent and child feel comfortable with it, I don't think it's a problem. I wouldn't care if dd saw dh naked or even asked questions about his anatomy, but dh does feel weird about it so he covers up. I respect that even though I don't necessarily agree with it.

I think that people get uncomfortable because it is hard not to equate nudity with sexuality, especially in our American culture.

 

[levar]

Oops! I answered "stopped bathing" not "stop naked"... I stopped bathing with Taylor when he was about two. He got very upset that I didnt have a penis too and rather than upset him I just kept covered around him in general for a while. Now that he is 3 we're still showering on occation together so I can wash his hair. And in the pool/gym locker/shower room he is of course with me and seeing not only me but other women naked. [And men when he is with hubby.]

When is "not naked" a good idea? I guess I'd have to say that it might bother me when I was in the locker room with a 7 or 8 yr old boy? [And it would bother me to send a daughter with hubby to restroom etc] And 5 or 6 seems WAY too young for locker and bathroom alone. But, I am not sure I would want to send my kids alone until maybe 9 or 10? I guess I'll wait and see when we get there!!

:

 

[kanpope]

When I was in college, my major was in Human Services (like Social Work) with an emphasis on Dysfunctional Family Dynamics. I remember in one of my classes, the teacher talked about nakedness being a form of sexual and emotional abuse. At the time, before kids, that seemed logical to me. But now that I have kids of my own, I no longer agree. But one thing that I do think is that every child is different and we cannot lump them together and say that all children should stop bathing with parents at 2 or 5 or 7, whatever. Every child is different and every parent has different comfort levels. What may be appropriate for one family, may not be for the other.
For us, we are very open and honest about our bodies. And both my kids and my dh and I are comfortable with questions and discussing, and nudity in the shower. I do not forsee a time when bathing with our children would not be okay with our family. Although, with that said, it does not mean that things may not change. We try to remain flexible.
As with all things, I think that we need to listen to the cues of our children and follow our instincts.
My 2c!

Love,
Nicole

 

[LuvMy2Kidz]

I voted it's always ok. I don't think there is a "magical" cut off age for bathing together, just when the child starts to want a little privacy or becomes uncomfortable with it.

 

[zealsmom]

I voted always ok.

As an adult, I am still comfortable being naked in front of my mother. But not neccesarily my dad. He was always a bit squeemish about such things. Maybe it's more his discomfort than mine.

And we swim naked with both of dh's parents who live in Copenhagen. I have no qualms about getting naked there with them.

They also have a 6 year old daughter who is extradorinarily comfortable with her body and the bodies of those around her. It's all very healthy.

 

[jayayenay]

Quote:

Originally posted by Potty Diva I voted it is always ok, until either child or parent starts to feel uncomfortable with it.

Ditto.

 

[LunaMom]

I see that most here agree that it's fine for family members to be naked with each other as long as nobody is uncomfortable. Not surprising - it seems to go along with the AP/NFL (no not the football league

) philosophy. n I feel the same (I posted on this thread already).

But my dh always says something that makes me pause. He's uncomfortable being naked in front of dd anyway, so it's kind of a moot point, but he says that even if he wasn't, he would worry about our daughter telling her teachers or anyone else, "I take baths with my daddy," or "I've seen my daddy's penis lots of times." I hate to admit he has a point. You never know how things might be misinterpreted. I know that, as a public school teacher, I was required by law to report any suspicion of physical or sexual abuse to my principal. Now, if a child told me she saw her daddy naked, I wouldn't think of it as a problem, but lots of teachers out there might, YKWIM?

Not that I think anyone should cover up due to paranoia, but it is something to keep in mind, especially with girls and daddies, because that seems to raise the most eyebrows.

 

[mother_sunshine]

No age limit, no gender difference. I think that the age the child no longer wants to bathe with her parent/s, or if the parent is no longer comfortable, is the age that she is "too old". I have been bathing with my daughter since she was born. She is now 6yrs and we bathe together only sometimes simply because we're squished and it's no longer as relaxing and fun as it used to be when there was plenty of room

. My husband still showers with her on occasion even though he has always been more comfortable wearing boardshorts (she does laugh and make fun if she sees his penis).

I don't understand how a child and her parent bathing together and seeing each other in their natural skin can be seen as taboo at any age.

 

[hvl25]

I put 5, but I think it depends on the child/parent comfort factor. I am uncomfortable with my 9.5 yo son seeing me totally naked, he sees me in bra/panties though. My almost 5yo is getting to the point where he stares sometimes and it makes me uncomfortable, so I don't really take showers with him anymore and he still sees me naked every now and again. The baby still showers/bathes daily with me and DH.

 

[tausborn]

You guys have given me some great answers. I'm so pleased to see that nudity in the AP family is a healthy comfortable thing for all of us. I, myself, grew up bathing with either parent up to age 4. Then with sis or mom only or alone.

I never really thought about whether this kind of thing would have a strong affect on one's body image until I encountered my sd5, five years ago. She was just barely 5, and already so ashamed of her body that she only changed her shirt once in front of me and her dad. She slouched over her chest the whole time. Only her dad and mom could bathe her (but certainly not WITH her). And, today (during visitation), she is 10, and my daughter is 4 and happily flitting around the house in panties, or not, or her fav skirt but topless, whatever. SD10 asked with a real tense strained voice "when is she going to learn to keep her clothes ON!?"

So, apparently, this early childhood free form nudity where no one is ashamed, and we are comfortable and secure with ourselves and our children in their most defenseless state, is making a BIG difference in the way our babies will feel about their bodies when they grow up.

 

[Potty Diva]

Quote:

Originally posted by tausborn I never really thought about whether this kind of thing would have a strong affect on one's body image until I encountered my sd5, five years ago. She was just barely 5, and already so ashamed of her body that she only changed her shirt once in front of me and her dad. She slouched over her chest the whole time. Only her dad and mom could bathe her (but certainly not WITH her). And, today (during visitation), she is 10, and my daughter is 4 and happily flitting around the house in panties, or not, or her fav skirt but topless, whatever. SD10 asked with a real tense strained voice "when is she going to learn to keep her clothes ON!?" So, apparently, this early childhood free form nudity where no one is ashamed, and we are comfortable and secure with ourselves and our children in their most defenseless state, is making a BIG difference in the way our babies will feel about their bodies when they grow up.

This is exactly why I wanted to have a carefree naked family when we had children. And I am so glad that Mark has become more comfortable with it.

 

[BCmommy]

My 8 yr old ds has no problem with whipping the shower curtain open on me and having a full conversation without batting an eye. Although I do get cold sometimes, it doesn't bother me. LOL

I just think we will go by each others cues and he will not be made to feel guilty,KWIM?