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You really can't force him to wear it. How old is he? Maybe he's simply too young for this. Retainers do hurt, especially if you don't wear them regularly. I would suggest asking the orthodontist for either a way to affix it semi-permenantly, or ask the ortho if you can hold off on the treatment until your son is older and more able to understand the necessity of wearing one.

Save yourself alot of emotional energy and headache: don't turn this into a power struggle. It's a battle you will NEVER win, and is just going to cause a great deal of stress for everybody. In fact, if he is of a reasonable age, I might just say to him "okay, if you don't want to wear it you don't have to". When his defensiveness wears off you might explain to him that his grandparents gave this as a gift, etc. and see if he can find some internal motivation to wear it. Maybe leaving the issue he will come around on his own. But guaranteed if you fight it, it will never happen.
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