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Lately DS (5 mos) has been having a hard time staying asleep when we put him down around 9. He's been waking up after a couple hours then won't fall back asleep until around midnight or later. This is exhausting!!!

He still wakes several times during the night to eat too...so I am getting NO good sleep. We have a bedtime routine, follow that nightly, but still can't get him to sleep for long stretches without eating and he won't stay asleep after bed time.

Any ideas? Move bedtime later? How do I get more sleep??? Since DH has to be up bright & early each day to go to the office, I am responsible for all night time parenting and I'm TIRED. Hubby sleeps right through baby's middle of the night fussings anyway, so to get him to take over I would have to wake up, then wake him up. At that point, I'm already up and my baby is fussy so it's near impossible to go to sleep anyways. So I just take care of all nighttime stuff. I know I am supposed to sleep while the baby sleeps during nap time, but I find it too convenient to do other things that need done then...like shower, do dishes, do laundry, wash diapers, clean house, take the dogs out...so I end up very, very tired. Plus sometimes baby's naps are only 1/2 hour. A 1/2 hour of sleep is a tease to someone so severely sleep deprived. Why bother?

I need HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLP! Coffee doesn't even wake me up anymore. It's just a warm, soothing drink that makes me more sleepy.
 

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My babies have always been late-nighters - they go to sleep anywhere from 10 p.m. to midnight (we don't follow the clock here, I'm tired at a different time every night, and so are they)... hubby and I don't go to bed until 1 or 2 a.m., so it's not a big deal... when they start school, I start earlier bedtimes...
 

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6pm. it seems that when i put my 3y/o to bed any later, he wakes more, fights it... he does not nap anymore...

anyway, the twins (4 mos old) come to bed at the same time and this works great for us! they too are 20 min nappers, if at all. btw, we are all very early risers, like 5am, so early bedtime is the only way for us.

i say, try for earlier rather than later.

hth!

Paige
 

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5 mos is a tough age - that's when everything went downhill for us!

First, encouragement - it WILL pass! There's a lot developmentally going on at this age which makes babes extra wakeful. We went through several months around that age w/DS where he didn't nap more than 30-45 min at a stretch either. He did eventually start sleeping longer stretches, now he naps like a champ!

As far as the nightwakings, do you think you can work out a compromise with your DH? Maybe he can take your DS at that first waking where he's just "up" and not nursing so you can get more rest, and then you handle the nighttime parenting the rest of the time when he's waking to nurse? Keep in mind that even though DH is the one who goes out of the house to work - you are working too! You can't exactly sleep in or nap when you want, because your babe doesn't either. You are on a schedule that is set by your DS. I had to explain to my DH at one point that his job was 8 hours/day, and mine was 24 hours/day because I was up most of the night with DS, as well as all day long. Sometimes our DHs just need a little convincing, kwim???


I would also recommend going to bed at the same time your DS does (9PM), if you don't already. Better to put off the stuff you have to do around the house so you can get rest (and let DH help out with it on the weekends), b/c desperate times call for desperate measures! Taking a nap yourself on the weekends while your DH takes the baby out for some "daddy time" works wonders too! (We still do this, except now I usually start out napping with DS and then DH takes him out when he wakes & is done nursing so I can finish my nap).

ETA: As far as bedtime, my feeling has always been the earlier the better - your DS might be having a hard time settling because he's overtired (one of those crazy sleep paradoxes). So you might try gradually moving bedtime earlier, say 15 minutes at a time, and see if that helps. DS, now 21 months, pretty consistently goes to bed between 7-7:30 most nights.
 

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Bedtime?!?! Ha! There IS no bedtime for us. Honestly, dd was never on any kind of schedule until very recently at about 2 years old. Or rather, she never conformed to any kind of schedule...I did try to get her on one, just for my own sanity. No such luck though. Somedays she'd be ready for bed at 7 other days not until 11. And what time, or duration of naps during the day did not make one ounce of difference. We tried the whole 'sleep begets sleep', 'keep her up so she's really tired', 'same exact bedtime routine so she's knows what's coming' methods, and none of them seemed to work for her. She is just NOT a sleeper. The only time she sleeps well, is right before she gets sick.
: So even then, I can't enjoy it, because I know what is coming.
I would try to let it go. I know, I know easier said than done. Right at 5 months when dd's sleep was probably at it's worst was when I finally realized that nothing, short of CIO which was not an option, would help her sleep better. I had to just let it go, relax and not stress about how much sleep she (and I!) was getting. Stay in the house, rest on the couch, nap with her, have a young neighbor come over and play with her so you can veg. Let the housework, laundry, cooking go for a while. I made the big mistake of trying to go back to pre-baby life WAY too soon. I suffered the consequences for months.
: Sorry to kind of go on a tangent here, just relax and try to rest when you can. Hope things get better soon for you.
 

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I start our bedtime routine right around 7, sooner if the baby seems cranky. She is a yr old now and since about 6 months she has consistantly been going to sleep around 7:30. The older girls (3, 6, 12) stay up a little longer, but I try to have the 3 and 6 yo in bed by 8 otherwise the mornings are near to impossible around here.
 

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DS1, almost 19 months, goes to bed around 8pm every night. He sleeps through the night, has since about 12 months. DS2, 7 months, goes to bed around 9pm, wakes between 11-12 to nurse, then goes back to sleep. Most of the time when he wakes to nurse is when DH and I go to bed. He'll wake about two times between then and 5-6am, nurses again, then we get up around 9am.
 

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I third earlier, ds2 just fell into the 8pm bedtime of his big brother, and if you are tired go to bed with them, they tend to sleep better with someone there anyway. Both my kids woke every 45 min or so untill I went to bed until they were a year or so. I found it easier to just go to bed and read and then I didn't stress about it. The other thing that helps me is having dh get up with the baby. My kids get up around 6 so they eat breakfast and make lunches with papa and then he wakes me up around 7:15 so he can shower and dress for work. You'de be amazed what an hour of sleep by yourself can do for you. But really, I go to bed at 9 or 10 and get up at 7, thats what I need to do to get a good sleep with 2 kids and I am sooooo much better during the day if I can do that.
 

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7 ish (start to wind down around 6:30 sometimes earlier if he's tired). Lately he's been waking at 6 but he used to sleep until 7. Not straight through! (or even close). Currently (9 mos) he wakes once before I go to bed and about twice before morning. That's a major improvement from where we were a couple of months ago when he sometimes woke hourly.

Now back to you.

Sleep When The Baby Sleeps never worked here because I need that time alone. But I take that time! No housework.. I just hang out and email friend/chat online etc. The housework gets done when DS is awake (he loves to watch me do things. I talk to him and put laundry on his head.. that kind of thing. makes him laugh).

When he goes through short napping phases I DO nap with him though b/c it helps him to sleep longer.

It's both frustrating and reassuring to hear that for us anyway sleep has gotten better with TIME. Hang in there! this period is rough. I lost the plot at 6 mos over sleep but it's slowly gotten better since then. He is 9 mos now.
 

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Dinner at 6-630

Bath right after for about 30-45 minutes, until he is has pruney as a lil huiman boy can get


queit play for about 15 min

three books in bed, nurse, I Love Big Trains video when I leave the room
: ( it is the ONLY tv he gets all day and it keeps him in bed long enought to go to sleep)

GOOOOOOOD nights he is out by 830, in reality, it is more like 930, we have had sleep issues since day one, but he is slowly catching on, in his own time, he knows best
 

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He still nurses every, 60-90 minutes all night ( he will be 2 next month) He was almost nightweaned until he got REALLLY sick for the first time ever and then we went on vacation..... you know how that goes.
 
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