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So my 18 almost 19 month old dd is beginning to be hell on wheels and I seem to be coming up short.It is so hard when there are so many inconsistencies as far as grandmas,grandpas aunts and uncles etc....I am trying so so hard to handle our little gem ( :LOL ) with GD but what if there is nothing to distract her with....what if she is sooo string willed that she WANTS to throw wooden blocks at dd #2 and NOT a ball etc.....and what am I to do when she CONTINUOUSLY pulls my sweet itty bitty dd#2's wittle hair and makes her cry SOOO hard? When do you mamas say NO and how? Also she is beginning to hit-even her mamaw which she loves soooo much-I mean she has swatted at me but NEVER her MAMAW!!!I need help mamas!!!!I AM kind but firm,consistent yet understanding all of those things and she IS exploring and learning and all of that wonderful stuff BUT.......HELP!
 

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One thing that worked for us was to say (when it was something very right-now and dangerous, like hair pulling, hitting, biting, whatever) was to say something like "We don't hit. You can play patty-cake/touch gently/whatever etc." Tone of voice is the most important - we said it very authoritatively and she listened. The "we" part is where modelling is important - if they don't see you hit or yell or whatever the problem is, the words will carry a heavier weight.

If there is time, point out how the other child feels about hitting; and/or talk about the feelings that led them to want to act out like this i.e. you want baby sister's toy, and you feel angry. It feels a little weird when you're doing this with a barely-verbal child, but it does make a difference when they're older, at least in my case.
 

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I say no sometimes, but more often I use another short phrase, one that gives more information, with whatever emphasis is appropriate for the urgency of the situation.

"GENTLE on brother's hair!"

"Hot!"

"We don't hit."

"DON'T bite!"

If she were, I dunno, lurching into the street, or sticking a key into an outlet, I'd definitely howl "NOOOOO!" or "STOP!!" as I lunged for her.
 
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