When mamas say "no!" - what are your deal-breakers?

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I know lots of people have this rule but I'm not sure it works with every personality. I'm glad my parents didn't do this because it probably would have really caused me to rebel and have food issues. I went through several picky phases as a child but now I'm one of the least picky people I know with a very diverse palate.

I suggest my DS tries stuff ("The chicken is really good tonight you should try some!"), I offer spices or sauce if he wants to dip, but then I leave it alone. As long as everything on his plate is healthy I don't worry.

I think a bigger food issue is learning to be respectful of the people who make the food. My son is only 28 months so this doesn't really apply to him yet, but I would not allow an older child to say something is "gross" or make yuck faces at something he was being served.

I apply the same standards to my child as I do myself or my husband. I wouldn't "make" my husband take a bite of a side dish he didn't care for, but I wouldn't tolerate him saying bad things about my cooking either (not that he would, but you get the picture).

hmm...lemme think. the hills i die on are:

no shoes on the bed (grosses me out)

no pulling cats' tails

no touching the other nipple when she's nursing

no picking at paint chips on windowsills (lead; worries me!)

that's really all i can think of that i am really passionate about!

ds has been a crazy easy infant and seems to be becoming a crazy easy toddler.

He stops in his tracks when i say, "that's electricity! don't touch!" even though he has never been shocked or physically harmed by voltage. The other day i said, "Can you please stop making that noise? it really bothers me." and he did. wtf??????

Don't get me wrong, he loves the word "no" and repeats it incessantly, his favourite thing to do while i sew is pull all the books off a (particular) bookshelf and dump my entire music collection on cassette onto the floor, and he does experience frustration that is intense enough to cause back-arching inconsolably crying meltdowns just like any other 14 month old, but compared to my other kids at this age, things are going very smoothly.

With the teenager, if he's not dead or in jail that's all that matters.
With the adult dd, if she's a decent, intelligent human being then i "won" the whole frickin' war so i shouldn't care so much that she hates me.

I've been over and over how i might have parented them differently, but i think it's just the toddler's natural temperment and one of many variatiions on normal.

We have lots of rules here. I'm a single mom to three little ones half the time (DH works offshore so is gone 2 weeks/month), so I run a tight ship in order to maintain sanity.

My kids have to clean up their own messes. I will help if it's a huge mess, but mostly they do it themselves. This includes my 21-month-old, who requires a lot of coaching, but I don't give up until it's done.

No pulling hair, hitting, kicking, etc. NO WAY on Earth am I going to have a child that hits me in the face, rips my hair out, etc.

Food is eaten at the kitchen table. Period.

My 21-month-old sits in a high chair every time he eats, including at restaurants. My friend drives me CRAZY leaving her 2-year-old totally unrestrained in restaurants, running around to other people's tables, etc. I think I'll probably wait until the child is 5 or 6 before I ever go out to eat with them again. Same with shopping--the littles ones are always restrained in the shopping cart, held, or pushed in a stroller in stores. I just.can't.deal. with kids dashing around stores, pulling clothes off the racks and such. Mind boggling.

They must be clean and decently dressed before we go anywhere.

Hmm...I'm having a hard time thinking of anything else. Just the normal stuff, like no climbing to dangerous heights, playing with the tap in the bathtub, etc. We don't have any eating rules other than eating at the table--my littlest is an extremely picky and light eater, and I don't force him to eat things he doesn't want, even if it means he skips a whole meal. I refuse to get into food battles with any of my kids--it cannot end well.

Now that big brother is getting older, he must try to put on socks/pants/undies/ etc, but I will always help him finish if he needs it.

Now that big brother is using the potty, he is free to wipe himself, but Mommy gets a final check.

Now that little sister is signing, she must sign for milk/nursing...no more dive bombing Mommy's chest at random intervals

Both kids must brush teeth, and both kids must let Mommy or Daddy finish up the turn with some extra brushing.

Now that little sister is walking and can reach anything big brother can reach, our newest rule is: if you have put it down, your turn is over. Unless you are actually touching the toy/object, it is not your turn. And if the toy you last touched 20 min ago is on the floor and your sibling has recently picked it up...sorry, it is not your turn anymore, and it just isn't true that your sibling took it from you...and no you may not grab it out of his or her hands!

No hitting, biting, or kicking people or animals. (usually no problem)
Use "Please" and "Thank You."
Must hold hands or be held when crossing the street.
Chairs are for sitting in.
Only pee-pee/poo-poo go in the potty.
No walking/standing on mama.
No screaming "wake up" in the cat's face.
No stealing toys. If someone is holding something, its their turn.
If you find something on the floor, mama has to identify it before you can eat it.

I also think I'll eventually enforce "if mama's going to draw something, you have to draw as well." (as in "mama, draw a fan. mama, draw a dog. mama, draw a helicopter.")