Mothering Forum banner

1 - 15 of 15 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,237 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
We aren't anti-sugar- we just don't have sugary treats every single day.<br><br>
Today I feel like I never want anything sugary in this house ever again. It is always a hassle with dd. She goes nuts. Dd will take it all or somehow ruin it for the rest of us. I feel like I am going to have to hide or lock the things up or police the kitchen. Maybe alarms.<br><br>
I made cinnamon soft pretzels as a special treat the other day. Dd ate almost the whole batch. I'm glad she liked them but dh and I wanted some too.<br><br>
We got Halloween candy. Dd herself said that it was for trick-or-treaters when we bought it. I let her have a few pieces of candy and then say we need to save the rest for Halloween. That night she gets the whole bag out. Sigh.<br><br>
I made pumpkin bars today. I made frosting for our pumpkin bars and let her lick the bowl and have a frosted pumpkin bar. Not enough- she has to go and claw the frosting off half of the pumkin bars thus wrecking that portion for anyone else. I would have given her another one if she had asked. She knows that. She said she was sorry and cried after I got upset.<br><br>
Anything sweet I make or buy it is the same story.<br><br>
I've tried talking with her about this several times but it is like the sugar takes over and she can't stop eating it. I don't expect perfect control at 5 years old, but will it ever get better? Are there some people who just can't handle sugar? Should I just make a vat of frosting and a get a barrel of candy and put it in front of her and make her eat until she gets sick and never wants sugar again? I'm kidding there btw... I honestly don't know what her upper limit would be... maybe 2 vats of frosting. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"><br>
Is it me handling sweets all wrong or something like an addiction she can't control? Do we have to go entirely sugar free? I'm willing to do it if we need to.<br><br>
Does anyone else have this problem?<br><br>
Dd self regulates very well with things like TV btw. She is thin and has good teeth. She doesn't act super hyper after eating sugar.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,440 Posts
Personally, I would limit it for her if it seems to be impossible for her to limit herself with it. I would give her her fair share of things, and put the rest out of reach. Partially so she does't go too overboard, and partially because like you said, maybe someone else wants some. I'd be annoyed if I bought the Halloween candy and someone ate it all and then i had to go buy it again, or ruined the tray of pumpkin bars I just made.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,493 Posts
I think moderation does work, but it has to be done in a certain way. We do have sugary treats every day...in moderation.<br><br>
There is a big jar of small sized candy in our pantry and the girls get a few pieces <b>every single day</b>.<br><br>
Knowing that you will get some today and tomorrow and the next day really, IMHO, makes you NOT feel that you need to take as much as you can and makes moderation work. Whereas, if you never know when you might get something you like so much you feel like you better eat as much as you can because who knows when it will happen again. This type of moderation is much harder to get to "work"<br><br>
In other words, its hard to use moderation when you feel that getting a treat is a random event. When you predicatably get it every single day, its much much easier.<br><br>
None of my three dd's ever go "nuts" over sweets, becasuse they know exactly when they will have it again and importantly, know that it is SOON.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,323 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>maya44</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">We do have sugary treats every day...in moderation.<br><br>
There is a big jar of small sized candy in our pantry and the girls get a few pieces <b>every single day</b>.<br><br>
Knowing that you will get some today and tomorrow and the next day really, IMHO, makes you NOT feel that you need to take as much as you can. Whereas, if you never know when you might get something you like so much you feel like you better eat as much as you can because who knows when it will happen again.<br><br>
In other words, its hard to use moderation when you feel that getting a treat is a random event. When you predicatably get it every single day, its much much easier.<br><br>
None of my three dd's ever go "nuts" over sweets, becasuse they know exactly when they will have it again and importantly, know that it is SOON.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
I agree with Maya. Candy and treats don't hold any special status around here. We bake cookies often and almost always have candy in the house. Ds is almost 5 and knows that candy isn't good fuel for your body and doesn't have any vitamins so you can't eat it all the time. You won't grow big and strong <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"> He goes days without asking for candy and some days he asks more than once. We've taught him that candy and cookies are not a snack, yogurt, fruit, crackers and veggies are snacks.<br><br>
Maybe if you lessen the idea of a special treat she might calm down about it? Maybe a bowl of jelly beans sitting around?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,732 Posts
I think it is the same with this as with television. There are a few kids who just cannot self-regulate. We have some friends with an obese 10 year old daughter, she was raised most of her childhood by her crazy mom, hence her food issues. Dad and stepmom just got custody last year. They have been told by doctors and psychologists that they just can't have ANY junk in the house. Everything has to be healthy, especially because kids get junk at school. They have even been told that a lock on the fridge may be necessary at some point- of all craziness! While moderation might work for some, some people just can't handle sugar. Your dd sounds like one of them.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,405 Posts
Hmm. I don't know your sitch totally but I think there are three possibilities.<br><br>
Firstly- Maybe she can't self regulate. My dd can't self regulate with tv- I have to do it for her. However she does self regulate with foods just fine and I don't limit sugar (though I always make sure to offer good food as well.)<br><br>
Second- it could be that the sweet treats come too rarely. I'd say if is happens less than once a week I could see her feeling like she'll never have it again.<br><br>
Third- it could be that she craves sugar because she doesn't eat enough protein. I think this is WAY more common than people think. When I was avegetarian I had a HUGE sweet tooth. My naturopath advised me to eat more protein (not cut down on sugar) and the sweet tooth went away. I get so frustrated with my (non-vegetarian) friends who feed their kids veggie burgers and tofu pups thinking they are healthy. Those foods are all carb. There's very little fat and protein to fill the kid up and slow down sugar absorption.<br><br><br>
Just yesterday my dd asked to eat captian crunch. We NEVER has stuff like that in the house, but I'd let her get it just to show her how NASTY it is. ANyway, I gave her a bowl full- which she didn't like much, but also offerred her eggs. She ate the omlet, left the cereal almost untouched, then asked for more- eating three eggs total! Three eggs is a lot for someone who only weighs 32 lbs!<br><br>
I see it over and over with my kid- when she whines a lot for sweets it's time to give her protein.<br><br>
Anyway- good luck!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,405 Posts
Correction- i checked the label on the veggie burgers in my freezer. They have 8 grams of protein. That is compared to 20 grams pf protein in a hamburger patty.<br><br>
So they do have protein, just not as much as the foods they imitate.<br><br>
I still think that if you want your kids to eat whole grains, beans a veggies (the imgredients in a veggie burger) you might just want to feed them the grains and veggies. If you want them to eat a burger, feed them a burger. (Not McD's, but ground beef.)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,237 Posts
Discussion Starter · #8 ·
Thanks for the replies so far. You've all given me more to think about.<br><br>
On having candy available every day- I suppose I could try it and see what happens. We do generally have things like jelly or syrup or chocolate milk available if dd asks for them. If dd says she wants cookies we would probably make cookies (if we had the ingredients).<br>
We don't have candy or other junk food every day because we have a limited budget. Everyone always gets to pick one treat on grocery shopping day so dd can pick whatever she wants then- even a bag of candy. She knows that by now so it isn't like she would have to go a super long time without sweets if she wanted them so badly. If she eats the whole bag on day one and has to go without until next grocery shopping trip then that is up to her.<br>
I don't make cookies every day because I guess I feel it is a special thing for me to do- not like making the bed or washing the dishes. I grew up in a house where sweets were not a regular thing. We had them but it wasn't dessert with every meal or a bowl of candy or cookies every day. It didn't bother me. I guess that is the pov I brought to parenting my dd. I guess it doesn't work for her.<br><br>
I was thinking about dd's diet last night some more. She is a picky eater and eats carbs or foods with less obvious sugar most often. Maybe it is a protein issue.<br><br>
After Halloween, I think we need to change something.<br><br>
We are not vegetarians btw.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,493 Posts
Well candy is going to be on sale tomorrow, post Halloween. Why not stock up. At this time of year candy is sold in with "bite sized" pieces and that is good for helping moderation.<br><br>
I do think though that when you are not used to it, there is going to be some over-indulgence until you dd knows that the food she likes will be there (in modeartion) on a regular basis.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,270 Posts
ITA with Maya. If you make her favorite foods (within reason) available all of the time, and she never runs out, she won't hoard it and it will lose its magic. She might still like to eat it, but she won't feel the need to eat it all in one sitting.<br><br>
We have a very relaxed approach to all foods in our house - no food is special, although when DS gets older I will teach him about foods that your body likes because they have certain stuff in them. DS eats whatever he wants, whenever.<br><br>
He does sometimes REALLY really like something so much that he eats a ton of it, but only for a day or two, then he becomes fairly indifferent.<br><br>
HTH.
 

·
Premium Member
Joined
·
2,215 Posts
My approach is a little different than other posters, in that we don't keep treats (meaning candy, cookies, etc.) in the house at all. I find it easier in our household to keep a sort of open door policy on the fridge and the pantry, which works really well. The kids eat a variety of healthy foods whenever they feel hungry. If we had treats around the house, I would feel the need to more carefully oversee their food consumption, and I don't really want to do that. I also don't want to get into the game of 'if you eat your dinner/5 cubes of cheese/whatever then you can have a piece of candy.' It may work for some, but it seems like a lot of extra work to me.<br><br>
That said, I don't restrict my kids' sweets consumption. We go out for ice cream, dh brings home doughnuts for breakfast sometimes, grandma always has a bevy of junk food available at her house, etc. So far, this has strategy has produced kids who certainly enjoy sweets, but they aren't obsessed with it at all.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,824 Posts
I really think there is a strong genetic component to food. My mom definately went the moderation route - she was a mild health nut, which means we had lots of healthy food options and pleanty of suger in moderation (she loved to bake). There was no doleing out of sweets - Halloween candy was ours - there was no forbidden fruit.<br><br>
I cannot self-regluate when it comes to sweets (and really food). Just cannot. It is genetic. My grandfather's sweet tooth is pretty legendary. I have and (have always had - like from age 6 or 7) a bunch of food control issues (really a borderline eating disorders) that I believe have grown up because I get this very primal, numbing satisfaction out of eating, especially sweets. This is behavior triggered by genetics rather than behavior created by environment.<br><br>
It has never been more than a nuerotic tic of mine because I also have a fast metabolism - in other words, my compulsive overeating (and compulsive reaction to this tendency to overeat - restrict/conrtol) has not caused me social stigma or emotional issues.<br><br>
I worry about my children, however, because my dh doesn't have a fast metabolism (obesity runs in his family) and because my children, unlike me, will have a mom that is hung-up on food (my mom was totally "normal" when it came to food).<br><br>
So here is my plan at least for when they are young. We'll have no bad food (yes, I know, I do the "bad food" "good food" thing - something my parents NEVER did) in the house simply because I grocery shop, and I don't buy that stuff. But if we are at a restaurant - they can order what they want (of course, we don't eat out much for money reasons). And there is no off limits food. If they want to spend their birthday money on candybars, I'd never say a word. Halloween candy will be theirs. They can eat whatever they want at parties etc. I'm sure DH will bring home treats occasionally, and I'll not be a gatekeeping for these treats (not that treats last more than 5 minutes in my house <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/blush.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="blush"> ).<br><br>
good luck. I think we as parents can, at best, do no harm. Had my mom had food control issues, I could be really screwed up right now. She couldn't do anything to make me have a helathy relationship to food, but she could create an environment in which my natural food "issues" wen't exacerbated.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4,737 Posts
I'm pretty sure you've already tried this, but just figured I'd throw it out just in case...<br><br>
In three of the situations you mentioned (pretzels, bars, ToT candy) it sounds like you were annoyed/disappointed/upset not just because of the sugar issue but also the inconsiderateness issue. (Two separate, valid things!) When your DD saw you were upset about the pumpkin bars, she reacted to your upset, so clearly it's not the case that she has no empathy.<br><br>
Maybe you could help her remember that others would like a treat too? Not to guilt trip her or make her feel bad, maybe she could pick out a pretzel or two for mama and some for daddy and help you wrap them up and put them up for later. Or she could help you arrange the bars on a party tray, put toothpicks in and then put plastic wrap on top so they're ready for guests/party/whatever you were wanting to save them for. (And she could have a DD Tray that she could decorate and even give the same treatment to, but that was hers to decide if or when to share.) Same deal for Halloween--maybe she could have a handful of candy to put in her treat bag/box, but then help you decorate your give-out bucket and wrap it up to prepare for the night. For some people, myself included, it's useful to have many avenues about reminding us to share. Verbal, yes. Physical (as in separate/package/save). A reminder when the treat is becoming very appealing. She's 5, I bet she could come up with some other ideas for saving some for others that might surprise you. That way it is you and her working together to make sure that everyone gets some (I think 5-7 is when 'fair' starts kicking in big time!) instead of her feeling shut out/deprived or you feeling like you are the almighty Sugar Warden.<br><br>
I can relate to your DD. I was notorious in college for being the human Hoover. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad"> But my friends also knew that they could count on me to replace their stash plus a few extra or with something even better. It certainly helped me think about what I was doing, especially since I was lucky to have very kind and sympathetic friends who loved me more than sweets and were quick to remind me of that (even if they did tease me a lot).<br><br>
Maybe some of your frustration would ease up if she had more responsibility either to help try and conserve or to 'set things right' after a binge.<br><br>
I have had a voracious salt and sweet appetite ever since I can remember--I have no cavities, and until I hit my mid 20s and started having a bunch of kids I was athletically slim. I am fat now, but now that I'm exercising and making an effort losing weight hasn't been going too terribly (slow, but I need to readjust my instant gratification attitude) I really do think that the craving can have genetic components to it--but when she is eating up other people's treats, well, there is a social aspect that should be attended to, gently, in age appropriate ways.<br><br>
Does that make sense?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,282 Posts
<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
<div class="smallfont" style="margin-bottom:2px;">Quote:</div>
<table border="0" cellpadding="6" cellspacing="0" width="99%"><tr><td class="alt2" style="border:1px inset;">
<div>Originally Posted by <strong>onlyzombiecat</strong></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">We aren't anti-sugar- we just don't have sugary treats every single day.<br><br>
Today I feel like I never want anything sugary in this house ever again. It is always a hassle with dd. She goes nuts. Dd will take it all or somehow ruin it for the rest of us. I feel like I am going to have to hide or lock the things up or police the kitchen. Maybe alarms.<br><br>
I made cinnamon soft pretzels as a special treat the other day. Dd ate almost the whole batch. I'm glad she liked them but dh and I wanted some too.<br><br>
We got Halloween candy. Dd herself said that it was for trick-or-treaters when we bought it. I let her have a few pieces of candy and then say we need to save the rest for Halloween. That night she gets the whole bag out. Sigh.<br><br>
I made pumpkin bars today. I made frosting for our pumpkin bars and let her lick the bowl and have a frosted pumpkin bar. Not enough- she has to go and claw the frosting off half of the pumkin bars thus wrecking that portion for anyone else. I would have given her another one if she had asked. She knows that. She said she was sorry and cried after I got upset.<br><br>
Anything sweet I make or buy it is the same story.<br><br>
I've tried talking with her about this several times but it is like the sugar takes over and she can't stop eating it. I don't expect perfect control at 5 years old, but will it ever get better? Are there some people who just can't handle sugar? Should I just make a vat of frosting and a get a barrel of candy and put it in front of her and make her eat until she gets sick and never wants sugar again? I'm kidding there btw... I honestly don't know what her upper limit would be... maybe 2 vats of frosting. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/shrug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="shrug"><br>
Is it me handling sweets all wrong or something like an addiction she can't control? Do we have to go entirely sugar free? I'm willing to do it if we need to.<br><br>
Does anyone else have this problem?<br><br>
Dd self regulates very well with things like TV btw. She is thin and has good teeth. She doesn't act super hyper after eating sugar.</div>
</td>
</tr></table></div>
<br><br>
I do lock our pantry and fridge. Because I have an Autistic child who will not stay out of them, no matter what I have done or how hard I have tried with him. I have come back from the laundry room to him having a picnic with an entire pack of cheese in his room, or he and his older brother into something else when I dare to just go use the bathroom. He is on medication that can make him gain weight, so we have to watch. As his mother, it is my responsibility to keep healthy snacks for him and make sure to monitor what he eats.<br><br>
I do not keep a lot of sugary and junky foods, but my husband loves them, so we agreed to keep them locked up. There are some that are hidden, that DH has after the kids are in bed and asleep.<br><br>
One would honestly think we NEVER feed our kids, the way they always want to eat something. LOL!<br><br>
Some might not agree with our methods, but it keeps the peace in our house. The kids have learned to ask before taking and eat better and healthier snacks because of it.<br><br>
I do not think it is terrible to gently but firmly tell a child "no", or put things up where the child cannot have at them, if it is a terrible temptation to them.<br><br>
Maybe out of sight, out of mind is best for her right now.<br><br><br><br>
***Please do not flame me about the meds. It was three long years of trying everything else before we decided, by ourselves, to have him put on meds. They do work for him. He can function. Without, he does not function at all. Thank you.***
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
7,237 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Thanks for all the replies. You've all given me good stuff to think about. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
I've thought about it and I am not going to go stock up on candy. I feel our problem is not really caused by not enough candy in the house regularly but by some chemical reaction that once she starts eating the sugar makes her eat it uncontrollably... like an addiction. She isn't begging for candy if we do not have it. When I let her freely choose her treat at the grocery store she usually does not pick candy.<br><br>
I am going to try making sure dd has protein more. That was a very good suggestion.<br><br>
I will try to provide a healthier sweet instead of junkier sweets.<br><br>
I'm talking with dd about what food does for our bodies and to our bodies.<br><br>
I did have dd help put the Halloween candy in small treat bags to give out. I will try the suggestion of having her divide and wrap the treats up if we have them. Going into Thanklsgiving and Christmas I am sure we will have opportunity to practice this.
 
1 - 15 of 15 Posts
Top