[RootBeerFloat]

Ugh. I feel so frustrated and I don't know what to do. Dd is 16 months old and I wish to CLW with her. She nurses for comfort and to sleep only, as my milk never came in after giving birth (I know, weird, nearly impossible, etc, but it happened to us) despite our best efforts. She gets a drop or two I think, but mostly it's the suckling action that is soothing for her.

I'm thankful that we still have a nursing relationship and am proud of it, we worked hard to establish it. The problem is that nursing is almost always painful for me. Terribly so. It's been that way for a long time and a few months ago I posted and got some excellent advice about nursing manners, which we've worked on. Things have gotten better, in that there's less biting and rarely chomping and pulling off anymore. But even with that, nursing is so, so painful for me. I can't figure out what exactly is causing the pain, all I know is the more I nurse her, the worse it is.

I've been in this terrible situation lately where in the middle of the night, my nipples are so sore that I am unable to nurse her when she requests it. It's absolutely miserable for both of us. She cries and it breaks my heart. I keep a sippy of cow's milk next to the bed because she usually asks for milk when I can't nurse, and I'm thankful that I can meet that need and terrified that I'm rotting her teeth out.

What the heck do I do? This situation is making me a little nutty! I appreciate any advice!

 

[babykaoss]

could you be pregnant, mama?

 

[RootBeerFloat]

No, but thanks for asking. I feel sad I haven't gotten any more replies. I feel pretty alone in this problem!

 

[ladybugchild77]

Hmmm...I am not sure I have an answer but I couldn't read and not post. I have been pretty much dry nursing through my pregnancy lately and it certainly hurts enough to mak eme want to climb the walls...I actually have been limiting Kiera a lot (

) and then offering to cuddle. She seems to really like the closeness - she does cry a little but it only lasts a few seconds. I also give her a cup of water when she is thirsty...Perhaps cuddling/distraction could help when you just can't do it any more? SOmetimes I have distracted her with a book or song and then we'll try again if I can stand it. I am sorry you're in pain, Mama! I hope it gets better!!!

 

[babykaoss]

Okay....well, I just wanted to check, because I know that nursing while I was pregnant was really painful for me. I have to be honest, nursing a toddler/older child is really uncomfortable and often painful for me too. I have taken to counting to ten with dd, or sometimes even only to 3 if I'm really feeling like flinging her off of me. You are not alone! I'm sorry I dont have better advice!

 

[SereneBabe]

oh, that is so hard!

I guess the only thing that comes to my mind is that if it is really hurting (sure sounds like it!) and you can't take it, that saying no to nursing could actually be for your child's benefit, you know what I mean? this is coming from a woman (me, in case it's not clear ;-) who will nurse my daughter no matter what whenever she wants with almost no limits (my limit setting ends up with my daughter panic-stricken and nursing like a FIEND for days)...

what I mean is, the analogy of the airplane emergency and how you need to put your own oxygen mask on first before helping anyone else.

that said, where does it hurt? is it your nipples? inside your breasts? do you have large or small breasts? (sometimes when it's hurting I need to support my breasts more because they're tugging)

are there positions where it feels better or worse? times of day?

have you worked with a lactation consultant (a good one!) to be sure your nursling's latch is good? (obviously, you've been doing this a long time, but, I really think nursing shouldn't hurt MOST of the time!)

I hope you get more responses. I know what you mean about feeling alone in this stuff. It's especially hard when you post about something tough and it feels like it's into an echo chamber. Know that others are reading your messages but simply may not feel they have anything helpful to add (I didn't feel I did until I realized you needed more support so I just wrote what I just did for kicks ;-)

--Heather

 

[Eman'smom]

Just wanted to say ds "dry nursed" after my milk dried up during pregnancy, wow, that was a special kind of pain

I can't imagine doing it for 16 months.

 

[RootBeerFloat]

Thank you all so much for the support, I appreciate it. One of the moms in my mom's group told me that nursing after her supply dropped suddenly for an unknown cause was really painful, and it caused me to wonder if the lack of milk is the problem. BUT I've been told by a number of people that it shouldn't be, that if she's latched correctly it shouldn't hurt no matter what.

In response to the questions above, I think that dd has a decent latch, she had a great one from birth and it diminshed over time. Sometimes she latches very poorly and that is, well, holy cow that hurts! I will pop her off and hold her instead when it gets to that. But sometimes, her latch seems great and it still hurts, and that's what drives me crazy. Why the heck does it hurt so bad then? I just don't know.

My breasts are normal size, C cup, although the position of my nipples is unusual, on the underside of my breasts, so I need to support them while nursing. The pain is in my nipples and on the skin on the outside of them. The pain in rare during the day while nursing and almost constant at night while laying down nursing. BUT it is typically not as bad while laying during naps. Again, what the heck?

Anyway, thanks for the support, I really appreciate it.

 

[SereneBabe]

hmmmm... just a thought, could part of it be hydration related? I have no idea, but find it intriguing that the lying down napping is better than lying down at night.

have you talked to LLL leaders?

--Heather

 

[LianneM]

I'm so sorry

Could it be the way her teeth are pressing on your breast? Sometimes DS nurses in a way that his teeth just press into the skin and it gets sooo sore, often leaving teethmarks (do you have teethmarks?)

I wish I had more ideas.

I have a friend who has always had pain, though she does have milk, and she just found out that her DD (at 17 months now) has a tight upper frenulum - the connecting tissues from her gums between her two front upper teeth to her upper lip is thick and tight and prevents her from flanging her upper lip enough. The latch appears fine but is actually causing a lot of pain for my friend. I don't think they ever would have noticed it in her mouth except that it came up as a suggestion and it turns out her DD has it.

I'm so sorry for your pain!

 

[Liliana]

My daughter's latch changes depending on tiredness. At bedtime she nursed differently and if it goes very long it really hurts. Other times are better (though I'm pregnant now so it's all a bit uncomfortable). I just had to give myself permission to end nursing sessions when it started to hurt. If it's only night-times that are so painful, you could try night weaning.

Another thought: you said night nursing lying down. Have you tried sitting up for middle of the night nursings? It means you have to be more awake, but maybe it would change the angle or something?

Also, I don't know why this would only hurt at night, but could you have thrush? Some of my recurrent nipple pain went away after treating for yeast.

Hope you find a solution. It's awful to be in pain when our little ones so obviously need the nursing comfort.