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"When they go to school . . . "

594 Views 15 Replies 15 Participants Last post by  papayapetunia
I'm soooooo sick of hearing this from people who already know we're most likely going to homeschool. It's such an accepted "milestone" that people just seem to have a mental block to the concept of homeschooling, or worse, think I'll "come to my senses" when the kids are older. Sigh. It doesn't help that I'm starting to doubt whether I'm even capable of homeschooling in the first place.
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I hear ya. I get the same thing. Drives me bonkers.

My father just gave my dd a Hello Kitty lunchbox "for when she goes to school". She's TWO AND A HALF!

I am just paranoid enough to believe that he's trying to get her excited about going to school thinking I will cave in and send her to school because I won't want to let her down.

Very very annoying, I agree.
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Been doing this for ... uh... (counts fingers) twelve years now? And our oldest is "graduated" from home, our youngest is five.

And STILL occasionally someone asks, "But do you think you'd ever send them to school?"

at least now everyone but the youngest can say for themselves they don't WANT to go. EVER.
I just bought shiny sparkly "homeschoolers are number one" pencil from our local education store.

Does wonder for the little tyke's morale when people pull crap like that. I can honestly tell her no trad-school student has a pencil just like that!
Yes, that's terribly frustrating. In our case it's "when he goes back to school" since he was once in PS. I just want to say "what makes you think he's going back to school?" We have been programmed like robots to think that there is no life outside of going to school. So sad.
My 5 year old (with no coaching from me) tells people that he is already doing school, we homeschool and homeschool is better than real school (his word not mine). In fact the hair dresser up the street will probably never ask another 5 year old about starting school again after Kyllian lectured her for 5 minutes on why HS was better than PS.
(That lack of social skill comes in handy sometimes, LOL)
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The biggest times I've heard this kind of thing is at the doctor's office. Stuff like if I don't get DD's adenoids out she could miss a lot of school. School requires vaxes. Schools do like my DD's child care provider and get overzealous about thinking a kid has pinkeye and you'll find yourself in the doctor needing a note even when they just have a cold.

I just smugly shake my head at the folly of schools and the assumption that my DD will be going. Sorry, not going to make lifetime medical decisions based on prospects for perfect attendance at school.

Not to mention Early Intervention. DD will be getting evaluated for preschool soon. I MIGHT consider it for a couple of months this fall, since she'll be in daycare anyway, but I'm graduating in December and then she won't be in daycare and why would I want to institutionalize her learning at age 3 when I plan to homeschool beyond that? I have real doubts that other three year olds are superior models of language (she is in speech therapy) to the point that it would be better than being with me, her mother who talks to her all the time.
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I've only been hsing one year and I already have gotten used to it. It doesn't really bother me for 2 reasons:
1. You're right-it IS such a cultural norm that people just can't get their wrapped around the idea of NOT going to school. So I just blow it off knowing that I'm not going to change their mind so why waste my energy on it.
2. My son is the one that pipes up "I do school at home" or "my mom is my teacher" and he does it with such confidence now that I feel so good about it. Many people seem to respond well to his confidence and say "good for you" more than the negative things lately
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I was talking with an older woman in trader joes one time. I had just answered a question o fhers and said I was going to homeschool. She THEN said,"oh, well just wait til they have to go to school all day-you'll have so much free time rid of them"

other people have said"Oh, they are with you ALL day?" whta, like hanging out with people you love is bad?I truly don't get it. I LOVE my family.
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I get it all the time too. I had someone I thought understood why we were hsing and all that ask me a month ago "So how long do you think this homeschooling thing is going to last?" Grrr.

I also get the "do you think you'll ever LET them go to school" as well.

I'm pretty sure that they'll go to school sometime...maybe not til college though
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I used to have to tell people that we weren't sending them to school, now ds goes, "No, I HOMESCHOOL. I don't have to go to school."

Originally Posted by Attila the Honey
I am just paranoid enough to believe that he's trying to get her excited about going to school thinking I will cave in and send her to school because I won't want to let her down.
Had to giggle at this. I hear ya! When DS was not quite two, we mentioned to DH's folks that we were planning to homeschool. They were supportive in the way that they aren't the type to butt in, but we could tell they were somewhat "concerned" about our choice. A month later at Christmas, they gave DS a rather large, bright yellow, plastic school bus to go with his Mega Blocks. Now, there are about a thousand different accessories that you can purchase to go with Megablocks and I did indeed feel that this might be a rather "pointed" gift.

Fast forward, DS is 5 1/4 now and they have still said boo to us about it and have been very accepting with ears wide open as to the whys and wherefores of our decision. So whether or not they "meant" to do it or not, it seems moot at this point. I do plan to ask them sometime in the way off future though... just for kicks, and well, to satisfy my curiosity.

The best,
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It *is* annoying, but I don't think it's always malicious. My extended family is very supportive of our choice to homeschool, but until we actually started, they would often forget and say things like, "when she starts kindergarten..." I would patiently keep reminding them and they would

It took my niece and nephew the longest. They go to school, so it's so much a part of their lives that they can hardly talk about being, say, 8 years old without equating it to grade level. They usually remember we homeschool now, but sometimes they still say things to dd like, "You'll learn about that in 2nd grade."
DD just looks at them blankly until they remember.

Recently, my 9 y.o. nephew and my 5 y.o. dd went with my mom to a museum exhibit about ancient Egypt because they were both studying it -- he at school, she at home. My mom said they had a wonderful time together. They both enjoyed talking about what they knew and interacting with the exibits together. They both knew much of the same information about Egypt, but there was also an engineering exhibit there, and my builder-at-heart nephew was able to show dd lots of stuff she didn't know. I think it's great that my kids and their cousins can have interactions like that, even across the age gap which is so much of a dividing line in schools.

OK, sorry for the diversion! It's semi-relevent though -- I think our kids are the generation that will bring homeschooling into the mainstream and show people who *already* in the mainstream that there is more than one way to learn and be a kid.
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I get, "Well, if the homeschool thing doesn't work out..." I also get all the regular questions like, "What about socialization?" and "What about high school?"

It makes me feel like people think I'm this idealistic ditz who will someday find out the ways of the real world.
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