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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
The more mobile Gavin becomes, the more frustraiting it is becoming. He gets himself into situations that he can't get out of, then he starts crying and I "rescue" him.<br><br>
Dozens of times a day he'll pull himself up on something halfway and then just hang on and start crying for me because he doesn't know how to get back down without letting go and clunking his poor head on the floor.<br><br>
Likewise, he can't yet figure out how to back out of tight spots, so if he can't turn around, he just sits there and cries for me to come get him.<br><br>
Each and every time this happens, I get him out of whatever it is and then put him back down after he's calmed down. Sometimes he'll repeat the process, other times he goes over to a new place to get "stuck" in or pull himself halfway up on.<br><br>
Am I doing the wrong thing by getting him every time this happens? I keep having horrible visions of him never learning how to do things like stand himself up if I keep going to get him, but on the other hand, he goes from happy to head red and crying in a few seconds when he's hanging there and I don't want him to clunk down because it *can't* feel good (while we have carpet, there is 0 padding underneath, so it's not exactly soft) and if he doesn't expect it, that starts him off crying more.<br><br>
So is it best to get him every time this happens or to see if he figures it out himself?<br><br>
Ugh, the joys of difficult weeks.
 

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no advice...I just wanted you to know that I have the exact same problem (only worse, it sounds like...I have over-helper-itis...)<br><br>
I'm incredibly open to suggestions from everyone on when they step in and help and when they sit back and let their babes struggle.<br><br>
I might add that ds1, who just turned 8, STILL wants me to help with everything!! I REALLY want to try to nurture #2's sense of independence!
 

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My son does this *all the time*, and has been doing it since he first started to crawl (just shy of 6 months).<br><br>
When he climbs into places that are literally impossible for him to get out of, I always pick him up and give him his nursies (the ultimate comfort food. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">).<br><br>
At first, when he started crawling around chairs, he would freak out. I helped him to move his legs over them, guiding him in the right direction, and when he got through I'd say "Look at you growing up! You can go anywhere!" or something like that, along with a hug and a big smile. I encouraged him to 'practice' until he got the hang of it, and would end up helping him quite a bit. (*Note: This only works if the baby is calm and healthy. If he's sick, no amount of encouragement will stop his misery <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/greensad.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="greensad">.)<br><br><br>
For the past 2 months, he has only cried for help when he was actually stuck or when he was in a new situation, and sometimes not even then. He knows that if he gets stuck, Mamma will be there to help him out and give him some extra lovin' <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/love.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="love">.
 

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I've noticed that my DD has three stages of "fussying to crying when stuck" (learning to crawl but wants to walk):<br>
1 - fussy and frustrated but still working at it (whatever it is at the moment, usually crawling or trying to pull herself up on something at the moment)<br>
2 - fussy and so frustrated she can no longer work at it<br>
3 - crying for help<br><br>
When she's clearly in stage 1, I just leave her work at it (but put up my stage 2 antenna).<br><br>
When she enters stage 2, I go to rescue her but don't fly at top speed, IYKWIM.<br><br>
She rarely gets to stage 3 but sometimes stage 2 gets skipped and then I fly at top speed faster "than a speeding bullet" to rescue her.<br><br>
My feeling is that letting her work at something even if it is a little frustrating is good or at least OK. But that there is no point in making her stay frustrated once she's gone too far to work at it. After all, even as adults, when we're too frustrated, often the best thing is to take a break and start again later, right?<br>
And, any baby crying for help is clearly saying "I need help" and won't learn much (or at least anything good) at that stage if "forced" to stick with it.<br><br>
Just my two cents!
 

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I do pretty much what Ione does. I think because I have twins I have let my babies get a little more frustrated than I would have if I'd had them one at a time. Sometimes they'd be making that "eh-eh-eh-eh" frustration noise, and I'd think, "oh, I should go and get him," but since I'd first have to finish changing a diaper, or un-latch a nursing baby, it would take me a minute. By the time I'd get there, often the frustrated baby would have figured it out. So I learned that frustration is not necessarily a bad thing. IMO, learning new things is always frustrating in some way, and learning to be frustrated is just part of learning how to learn. So, now I don't jump up at the sound of "eh-eh-eh-eh," and my babies rarely get so frustrated as to start crying. I pretty much only become a speeding bullet when they fall down (which is generally more scary than painful). And since they always want to go right back to what they were doing, I figure it must not have been that traumatizing.<br><br>
HTH!<br><br>
Lex
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks for the support guys! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin"><br><br>
It's just been a horrible past two weeks thanks to teething, so quiet times in between the whines were (and are) few and far between so I was starting to doubt everything I was doing.<br><br>
He's always been super clingy, so I think that part of the deal is with him he's either happy or screaming for me, without giving *himself* enough time to figure out the situation.<br><br>
And I DID catch him getting himself down from his semi hanging on the sofa position yesterday without my assistance or him falling and clunking his head, so I'm feeling less like he'll be the only 10 year old who can't get down from the sofa. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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Dd just this week learned how to get down from having pulled herself up on something, and then I noticed that she was practicing it over and over. I did help her in the beginning, just by putting my hand on her back so she didn't hit her head. Of course she has hit her head a couple times, but that is hard to avoid at this stage. It's amazing to watch skills develop.
 
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