[ecstaticmama24]

Our 19 monther co-sleeps with us, and while I love it, I think it may be time to change. She nurses "all night". I don't mean alot of the night, I mean "all night". She doesn't take a soother and it's becoming alot for me. I'm a doula in training and I'm terrified I'm going to get a call in the middle of the night, need to leave, and then totally disrupt my little one's sleep.

My goal is to get her sleeping peacfully in her bed so that I don't wake her with every move, sniffle, yawn.

Any advice? Do you think it may be too soon to move her?

Thanks mamas

 

[Holiztic]

You are going to get A LOT (or none?) of responses on this because I think the natural parenting crowd has such varied ideas of when to move a kid from the bed. Same way when I weaned DS at 2 some of my friends had long since weaned and others couldn't believe I wasn't going to 5!

For us (opinion here, not what I think everyone should do), I can't imagine him leaving until at very least 3, but likely 4 or 5, maybe longer!

But what I really wanted to comment on was this: before we weaned (you could say night-weaned, we just decided to do it almost all at once, over a month really, day first, then night) DS woke like crazy--every move, sniffle, whatever. Since weaning (he slept on a Queen size futon mattress on the floor with DH for a month) he now rarely wakes. Really only if he's not feeling well or there's a lot of movement/noise. He may roll and grunt but he just goes right back to sleep.

Everyone we know thought that weaning would require moving him to his own bed, but he's been back in our family bed for 3 months now and its going great!

 

[Meems]

I think that the age you move your child is entirely up to you. Our DD asked for her own bed when she was 2. So we bought a bed, put it in our room, and she does sleep there for most of the night. I was not/ am not ready for her to be in a different room, but there are many parents that are fine w/ it and I don't begrudge anyone for that.

It sounds like your first step is to nightwean. I had good success with it about that age, maybe a few months later. For me, I had to decide that I was no longer willing to nurse at night and once I was firm in my own feelings, it went much more smoothly. I did a good bit of Jay Gordon's nightweaning plan and I think it is sound. NCSS also has some great tips. The biggest thing for me was not responding immediately to every.little.noise. There were so many times that I was popping my boob in her mouth and she was not even awake! So I mainly just let her roll around, make some noises for a few nights and she stopped the midnight-ish nursing.

Also, it will be helpful if you let your DP do the nightime routine thing, get your LO to bed. Then she won't be so reliant on you at night and comfortable w/ your DP.

Good luck!!

 

[mom2lucy]

There's really no "right" age to move out of the family bed. If you feel like you're at the end of your rope, and you'd be a better mom if she was in her own bed, then go for it! I reached my limit with the all night nursing when DD was 17 mo. and I just started sleeping in another room while DD slept with DH. It went really well and she'll only wake usually one time now. Just last weekend we put a double bed mattress on the floor in her room and she's been sleeping in there for 4 nights now (DH goes in and stays with her if she wakes). I thought it would be so hard for me to do this, but I'm LOVING it! I actually look forward to going to bed now, knowing I;m actually going to sleep, instead of dreading it. And DD is sleeping better too. If your gut is telling you that it's the right time, give it a shot. If you don't feel right about anything you can always change.

 

[mommy2two babes]

I don't think that it has to be an all or none situation, especially if all of you still enjoy co-sleeping.
You could try night weaning and still co-sleeping. I know that both of mine more easily accepted comfort from my DH when I wasn't there in bed with them and didn't wake as much. I was in the hospital overnight and at my Moms the next night due to kidney stones. More recently I night weaned because of pregnancy discomforts with nursing.
DS has generally slept more soundly now that he is not nursing in the night anymore.

 

[FreeRangeMama]

Could she cosleep with a sibling? My #3 was an all night nurser, but she was more than happy to start the night with her brothers. She would sometimes wake up and join us at night (still does at 4), but often she would just sleep.

We have had such success with sibling cosleeping. It seemed like a natural progression. Just an idea

 

[ecstaticmama24]

I'm trying to do that, I encourage #4 to sleep with #2, but she doesn't really want to yet. That said, I'm hope that's where she'll transition to, if she's not snuggling me she should snuggle her sis. Makes sense.

The boys share a room, have 2 beds, but always end up in one, lol. it's cute.

Even when #4 is in her own room, it's on a floor bed and I'm generally in there too, lol.

 

[Holiztic]

Quote:

Originally Posted by ecstaticmama24 I'm trying to do that, I encourage #4 to sleep with #2, but she doesn't really want to yet. That said, I'm hope that's where she'll transition to, if she's not snuggling me she should snuggle her sis. Makes sense. The boys share a room, have 2 beds, but always end up in one, lol. it's cute. Even when #4 is in her own room, it's on a floor bed and I'm generally in there too, lol.

That's what I'd love to do someday when there's a number 2, have 1 and 2 together. I just am not convinced ANYONE is meant to sleep alone, but certainly not a child!

 

[joanq]

Hi! I think there are two issues here and they aren't necessarily linked.

I would ask yourself if you want to:

1) Night Wean

or

2) Move her to her own bed

or

3) both

I night weaned my son around the same age (22 months) and we still coslept full time. It is possible. What I found was I had to get UP out of bed and walk him to calm him down. Sometimes we went outside. The night sky really calmed him. When I tried to stay in bed and calm him he just wanted to breastfeed. I kept it very simple and told him breastfeeding was only for when the sun was up. We offered water in a sippy (and once he said he was really hungry and I gave him a banana). It took about 3 nights of unhappiness and then we were able to sleep happily again without the breastfeeding.

For US it would have been way more traumatic to try to make him sleep in his own room. Sometime after his second birthday we bought him a bed and kept it in our room, and then moved it to his room and that has gone pretty smoothly without unhappiness. But we were happy with him in our bed (and he still sleeps with us a good amount of time at 4).

Good luck with your decision(s). I hope you find something that works for all of you!