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<p>When do you feel comfortable telling people about the pregnancy?</p>
<p>I am not very good at keeping secrets, and feel really excited - especially because we are having a homebirth this time around.</p>
<p>I thought I would wait for the heartbeat, but I'm having an awfully hard time!</p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>mrskatiekuj</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1282736/when-to-tell#post_16083902"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border-bottom:0px solid;border-left:0px solid;border-top:0px solid;border-right:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>When do you feel comfortable telling people about the pregnancy?</p>
<p>I am not very good at keeping secrets, and feel really excited - especially because we are having a homebirth this time around.</p>
<p>I thought I would wait for the heartbeat, but I'm having an awfully hard time!</p>
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<p><br><br>
I'm having a hard time waiting too! <span><img alt="2whistle.gif" height="15" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/2whistle.gif" width="22"></span> In a phone conversation w/my twin today she actually called me out when I said i was sick on sunday. Luckily, I was able to brush her off and convince her it was food poisioning. <span><img alt="headscratch.gif" height="20" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/headscratch.gif" width="20"></span> I have a feeling she is not convinced, but I also didn't want to spill the news when my 2 yr old DD was throwing a tantrum and making me exasperated while on the phone.</p>
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<p>I was hoping to wait until we're further along, I'm very anxious about m/c as i've experienced 3 and they usually occur a bit later for me (8-12 weeks). We were thinking about breaking the news the weeks of Xmas (what's REALLY going to give it away is my lack of participation in the rides when we go to disneyland for christmas week w/my mom & sis).</p>
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<p>I've told some of my close friends since they would've guessed when I passed up the festive beverages during our gatherings. <span><img alt="drink.gif" height="18" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/drink.gif" width="24"></span></p>
 

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<p>i tell everyone as soon as I  know...<img alt="ROTFLMAO.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/ROTFLMAO.gif">....i can't wait to tell everyone although i KNOW my parents and inlaws won't be happy at all, they think we already have too many kids <img alt="lol.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/lol.gif">......and it was hard to tell every one last time with dd that i'm having a bleeding and we thought a m/c....but i just LOVE when the world is revolving around MYself ....<img alt="love.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/love.gif"></p>
 

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<p>Honestly, I don't see the point in not telling close family & friends (unless they're not going to be supportive).  If something "bad" happens, they're going to find out anyway, right?  Then again if you'd had an m/c, I could see being apprehensive.  I told a bunch of people (not everyone) but I can't keep my own secrets, anyone else's are safe though :) </p>
<p> </p>
<p>I guess figure out why you wouldn't tell people & then figure it out from there.  Basically I think you should tell whoever & whenever you feel comfortable telling.</p>
 

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<p>I'm with awallrising on this one.</p>
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<p>We told my mom, my dad, DH's mom, and one of my best friends the first day we knew. We've since told my brother and his wife, a few more friends. We haven't told DH's siblings yet because his sister is getting married this weekend and we don't want to steal the spotlight. We'll let them know next week after the wedding :)</p>
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<p>This is our first, we're really excited, and I'm lousy at keeping my own secrets! Plus, I wanted the people close to me to know. I want their knowledge and support as we embark on this new part of our life. And if something were to go wrong, I would want them to lean on to get through it. But, I refuse to spend my pregnancy acting like and expecting something to go wrong. I'm celebrating and I want everyone I care about to celebrate with me! <span><img alt="joy.gif" height="39" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/joy.gif" width="42"></span></p>
 

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<p>We tell immediate family (parents, siblings) pretty much as soon as we find out.  But this time, FIL told his entire extended family at Thanksgiving, which annoys me because if something were to go wrong, I don't need all of them knowing about it--we don't see them that often & it's not something I otherwise would have shared with them. </p>
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<p>Other than that, I'll be telling a couple of friends--one because I had talked to her about possibly being pregnant and another because I baby-sit her son and I don't want her wondering why we're suddenly staying home more instead of running all over town if I need to take it easy some during the first tri.  Last time, we didn't tell our extended family for a long time--until I was 4-5 months along, if I remember correctly, but this time, they'll probably find out sooner since we'll be seeing them during the holidays.</p>
 

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<p>I had an early miscarriage, and I have a hard time feeling "safe" about the pregnancy until I'm out of the first trimester.  So we are waiting until Christmas when I'm 12 weeks to tell anyone.  Let me tell you, it is SO hard not to spill the beans.  Halloween when we got our BFP feels like eons ago!!!</p>
 

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<p>There is one person I am specifically not telling.  We had a miscarriage earlier this year and my MIL didn't react at all the way I expected.  She basically treated it as insignificant and her reaction made me very upset.  Then earlier this summer her own daughter called to tell her that she was pregnant and 8 weeks along and my MIL spent the whole phone conversation telling her all the things that can go wrong this early and gave her the impression that she shouldn't have shared the news at that point.</p>
<p>So I'm certainly NOT telling this lady until the end of the first trimester. Sadly this also means that I'm not going to tell some of my awesome SIL's (because I don't want it obvious that my MIL was the ONLY one we didn't tell).</p>
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<p>After the m/c I was very glad to have told some of my friends because they were very supportive and I didn't have to pretend that everything was peachy.  I even ended up telling MORE close friends AFTER the fact because I needed to share. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>So I guess my opinion is that you should tell anyone that you would want to know if something did go wrong.</p>
 

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<p>I think we are going to wait until Christmas, but depending on how sick I am we may not be able to pull that off. I picked up a zofran rx today though to keep on hand so I don't land in the hospital like last time.</p>
 

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<p>We told my side of the family, because there aren't many of us and we're all very close, so they'd find out even if I did MC.  But we're not telling DH's family until the latest possible moment because my MIL is a pest in every conceivable way.  <img alt="splat.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/splat.gif">Not only would she tell everyone she knows, but the news would be all about HER.  And if we MC'ed for some reason, she'd be so bloody dramatic about it (and again, would probably find a way to make it about herself) I couldn't handle it.</p>
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<p>Actually, if I could avoid telling my MIL even after the baby was born, I'd be thrilled. :p</p>
 

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<p>HidaShara-<br>
Yikes your MIL sounds far worse than mine!</p>
 

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<p>Ok- I'm really, really eager to have the August DDC up- I'm due 8/14.  After two m/cs I always wait until at least 14 weeks to share the news, and according to babycenter, that will be Valentine's Day!!! July ladies are way ahead of me (which always makes pregnancy seem to last much, much longer!)</p>
 

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<p>So far I've only told my massage therapist.  I thought I might tell my close friend at work because we sit four feet away from each other, and she might guess anyway (especially with nausea etc) but I haven't really felt sick yet so I haven't needed to. Planning to tell a couple really close friends this weekend because I know they'll be really excited for us.</p>
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<p>I don't know when to tell my family... I'd like to wait until I hear a heartbeat but I'm pretty sure my first ultrasound will be Dec. 31 and I'm not sure I can make it through all the Christmas festivities without my nosy brothers speculating on why I'm not drinking.  Also, we will definitely not tell my partner's family until well after Christmas - I don't think they'll react to well to the fact that no, we're not married or engaged, and yes, this is in fact a planned pregnancy. I also really don't like being fussed over (especially by extended family) so I'm thinking a mid-January facebook announcement might be the way to go.</p>
 

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<p>Our rule has always been dont tell anyone that we wouldn't want to tell about a miscarriage or who we wouldn't want there to be for us if that happened.  So right now, besides my DH and myself, only my sister, my 2 best friends, and DH's best friend know.  We'll probably tell our family on Christmas just because it's so much easier to tell everyone all at once instead of making phone calls.  We'll be 9 weeks then and we'll tell them to keep it quiet until Valentines day. I'm going to wait until someone calls me out at work to tell there though.  I'm a nurse so I can wear baggy scrubs and I'm hoping to get past 20 weeks.  I'm not sure why I want to wait so long, but I guess I just dont want to be the center of all that attention as long as possible. </p>
 

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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>mamahen2coop</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1282736/when-to-tell#post_16085369"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>Our rule has always been dont tell anyone that we wouldn't want to tell about a miscarriage or who we wouldn't want there to be for us if that happened. </p>
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<br><br><p>That's my rule as well. So far the only people who know are my brother and SIL, my neighbor who I'm good friends with, and my DH's boss because he has to leave early for midwife appointments. I'm also in the early loss camp and would rather wait until my pregnancy is further along. In the past we told around 9 weeks (DS) and 5 weeks (DD). This also happens to be a timing thing since we have so much stuff going on next year and I'm hesitant to see the reaction from others. I'm thinking we may tell after we hear a heartbeat. </p>
 

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<p>I wish I could tell everyone (extended family, etc) because it's so exciting - I even think they'd be supportive if something went wrong.  But I don't like how people talk so much about women's "miscarriage track record".  Ugh.  My husband has many cousins that live all over the world and I don't know a single thing about any of them *except* that one of his cousin's wives had four miscarriages before having a baby.  Why is that newsworthy?  Why don't people talk about how nice she is, or what a great job she has, or what a great wife she is - but nope, that's worldwide news apparently.  Ugh.  That's why we're waiting until the second trimester to tell extended family.</p>
 

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<p>I told everyone 2 days after I got a BFP.  I can't keep it in!!</p>
 
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