[doodledoo]

Hi everyone
Just wanted to see if anyone had any thoughts / experience to share around this. We dealt with secondary infertility and we are now pg with #2 after 3 years ttc. I just can't seem to hold it together. I mean, I know I am pg & I feel pg but I am just so scared all the time. i can't really put it into words, but it's like I'm scared somethings going to go wrong & we will lose this little one, that somehow it's not real (even though it feels real IRL). I'm not explaining this very well! But I feel so anxious all the time, I won't even change my siggy as I'm scared if I put a ticker on it will jinx things - how silly is that!? I check in here to the DDC daily, if not multiple times daily, & read all the posts but am scared to post too much as I still am so unsure that I can see a little one in my arms come May.

Think I'm just a bit of lunatic really! But I just want to embrace this pregnancy, not worry so much & actually start to 'see' our new lo arrive in May.

Has anyone else btdt? When did you start to feel 'safe'?

Kerry

 

[Amydoula]

I'm pregnant after 2 losses with one DS in between. I didn't change my siggie until I hit 14 weeks. I'm less nervous now (I'm 16 weeks) but I don't think it will completely go away for me until that baby comes out screaming in May.

 

[nummies]

I saw this on the main board, the answer is: you won't.

I know that sounds really bad, but I spent my entire pregnancy in fear. We went through IVF to have our son and suffered a miscarriage along the way. So literally, I was nervous throughout the entire pregnancy. It even led me to agreeing to an early induction because I was so terrified that something would go wrong.

I don't recommend that, by the way. It ended in a really traumatic birth for me and is the main reason I will be having a homebirth next time.

Anyway, long story short. You will feel that pang of worry the whole time. Some days are better than others. My advice to you is to take up yoga or other relaxation exercises. Really connect your mind with your body.

Best wishes on a beautiful birth and a big healthy baby!

 

[jenneology]

I haven't encountered fertility issues or pregnancy loss myself, but I'm profoundly impacted by the stillbirth of my little brother in 1986. I was concerned with my last pregnancy, hoping that I'd either still be pregnant or actually hold my baby in my arms at 38 weeks (when my brother expired). And I just made the connection that my babe was born at 38 weeks, interesting. But now that this is the second and my brother was the second baby for my mom, I'm worried even more. So I guess my answer is: I don't feel totally "safe" until there's a healthy, live baby in my arms.

That's probably not the answer that you like hearing, but its what I've found true in my situation.

 

[zoe08]

I am pregnant after 2 early losses. And I don't stop worrying. Right now I am really worried most the time cuz a lot of people are feeling there babies, and I'm not. And so I can't wait until my u/s on the 16th so that I can see the baby and know that everything is ok. And I can't wait to start feeling the baby move so hopefully I can relax a little. But I know I won't be 100% confident I am having a baby until I am holding it in my arms.

 

[EmmaJane]

This is my second post-IVF pregnancy.

The first was fine. I'd never had a chemical or miscarried, and everything went smoothly.

This one, we had a very scary ultrasound at 7 weeks; I was told it was extremely likely that I would miscarry.

I still haven't recovered, even though everything has been completely normal since.

I'm setting myself points at which I'll acknowledge in various ways: after the nuchal scan, I started telling people. After the anatomy scan (if we get that far), I'll start organizing old baby stuff and buying things. But even as I reach the milestones the worry doesn't let go.

DH is being quietly worried too. Yesterday, after an exhausting game of what I can only call absurdist Go Fish with DD, he turned to me and said, "If we have another one, we'll be able to play bridge!" It was the first time he's spoken a hypothetical involving, you know, a real baby at the end of this. I teared up...