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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I have a 7+ month old and she can not whatsoever sooth herself. No loveys, no pacifiers, nothing. Only the breast. She is very aware of everything around her, crawling and pulling up like crazy and just can't seem to settle herself at all. (Dr. Sears might label her high need) What are others experiences? Another question I had, do you think attachment parented babies take longer to learn to sleep longer night stints? S:yawning: she only sleeps 2-3 hours at a time at most. She does sleep in a crib for part of the night and comes to bed in the wee hours. Please help any thoughts suggestions.<br><br>
Extremely exhausted Mama:yawning: <a href="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/yawning.gif" target="_blank">http://www.mothering.com/discussions...es/yawning.gif</a>
 

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2-3 hours is pretty normal for us. DS is 8 mos. If you believed it was normal would you find it easier?
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I guess so, I just have so many friends whose children aren't doing this. Friends who say theirs sleep through the night since 10 weeks and so on. Although they may have done some CIO. I don't think she's abnormal, I've read enough online to see I'm not the only one going through this. I guess I'm wondering about self-soothers. What ages does this occur or does it occur. Maybe she never will and that's just who she is. It always helps to hear others stories and have support. I think my DH and I have decided to split up the night. I get the first half to sleep and he parents and he gets the second half. It may be the only way to stay sane in my sleep deprived state. Sleep in when you heal and deal and when you can't get some solid time to do that everything seems exagerated.
 

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Totally normal. Babies are designed to sleep with mom and nurse through the night.<br><br>
You'll get more sleep if she's in bed with you- just roll over- she's old enough to learn to latch on by herself.<br><br>
She'll be able to self-soothe by the time she's 10 <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1"><br><br>
-Angela
 

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I hear that all the time too "well so and so's daughter has slept through the night since 6 weeks old... whats wrong with your baby that she can't do that?" etc. My sister used the Ferber method to get my niece to sleep and so my mom cant figure out why I wouldn't want to do it too since it worked so "great" <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/irked.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="irked">:<br><br>
Don't loose heart though. Your child will learn to self soothe in their own time (I promise!) My daughter is 16 mos and is able to do it now to the point that if she is disturbed (laying her down or someone moving in the bed) she doesnt fly out of a sound sleep because she cant soothe herself. She still wakes atleast once a night (sometimes every half hour, sometimes just once halfway through) but if you can sidelay and BF you may be able to reach a point where you can do it without even being fully awake and then you'll sleep MUCH better.
 

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Sounds like a very normal 7 month old to me. I agree that you might get more sleep if you bring her into your bed and nurse her lying down. After some practice, I was able to nurse DD without waking up completely. It changed everything for me!
 

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Hi there,<br><br>
Sounds like she is a very normal 7 month old! We have gone through periods where DS wakes every 1-2 hours, sometimes every 45 mins if he's teething. He is now 12 months, and I am just starting to see a *bit* of self-soothing. The last two nights he has rolled away from me while drowsy but still awake, and fallen asleep without so much as a whimper. I was so amazed I could have jumped up and down! (but didn't, for fear of waking him!) He woke 3-4 times each night, which is better than in the past...and just nursed a bit, let go on his own, and fell back asleep. I remember how sleep deprived I was when he was the age of your DD though, he really resisted sleep at that time.<br><br>
Although it seems like things may never change, they will, just give her time!<br><br>
winn<br>
p.s. Whenever I hear about babies that have slept through the night since very early, it seems that it is due to CIO. I'm sure there are some no-CIO's that do this too, but very few! If you are against CIO and sleep "training" (as you should be), then you have to just wait until they are ready naturally.
 

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Does she settle easily back down? It never makes sense for us to have DH handle any of the wakings because DS only wants me at night. There was a time when I found this very overwhelming but I realized it was more of an emotional reaction than anything else.<br><br>
Having DS right there next to me.. nursing whenever he wants... has actually give us very smoothe nights. He latches on and I go right back to sleep. Hopefully you can figure out a way to make something like that work for you! Or better still if your LO will settle for your husband. It just doesn't work here because I can't sleep if he's crying.
 

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veeery normal. don´t worry. totally normal<br><br>
now, the self-soothing part...i tried everything with my boy and he never got it, or i never "showed him how to"...i have no idea, but he just doesn´t do it. i get upset also, but it´s normal. i think you would have to let him cry a bit for him to get it...and i just wouldn´t be able to do that. my babe also sleeps in his crib, but i got it sidecar. it´s great because i just move half of my body in for him to nurse, he falls asleep and so do i...if i can´t right there, i just move a bit onto my bed and everything goes smooth. don´t worry it´s normal.
 

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DD is now a year old. I could have written your post at 7 months. Around 10 months she was still nursing every 3 hours around the clock and usually waking every hour at night. Now 2 months later she nurses for naps, bedtime and early in the morning and sleeps 5-7hour stretches and takes 2 somewhat consistent naps. I will admit to almost having a nervous breakdown at 10 months and DH had to take over some nighttime parenting, she settles for him whereas she wanted to nurse every hour with me and we never figured out the sidelying sleep through it without killing my back position. My daughter is still high needs, but she can soothe herself back to sleep sometimes which she could not have done at 7 months. Hang in there. No one remembered to tell me that the sleep deprivation was a marathon, not a sprint.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>glpeppa</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7271238"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">I guess so, I just have so many friends whose children aren't doing this. Friends who say theirs sleep through the night since 10 weeks and so on. Although they may have done some CIO. I don't think she's abnormal, I've read enough online to see I'm not the only one going through this. I guess I'm wondering about self-soothers. What ages does this occur or does it occur. Maybe she never will and that's just who she is. It always helps to hear others stories and have support. I think my DH and I have decided to split up the night. I get the first half to sleep and he parents and he gets the second half. It may be the only way to stay sane in my sleep deprived state. Sleep in when you heal and deal and when you can't get some solid time to do that everything seems exagerated.</div>
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I am one of those whose children did indeed sleep "through the night" by 2 mos for one child and 3 mos for the other two. No, that did not mean that I laid the child down at 8 pm and that was that until 6 am. But, the last feeding was around midnight or so and then not again until around 6am or so. I did NOT let my children CIO. Never. I did not put them on a schedule. This was their own "schedule". And sometimes, they varied and we just went with it. Sometimes they needed an extra feeding, sometimes they didn't. They didn't sleep in our bed, but we did use a bassinet within my reach so I could touch them anytime and pick them up easily.<br><br>
Kids are all different. She is not abnormal. Don't let anyone tell you that she is.
 

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Just some sympathy here mama. My 7 1/2 month old is waking hourly to nurse too and sometimes I can sleep through it and other times I'm like "Just get off me!" so I know how you feel. I'm praying he moves through this stage quickly.
 

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My 8 month old DD wakes every 2-3 hours and nurses a little. Totally normal. She's too busy to nurse much during the day.<br><br>
My 2 1/2 yo DS still needs some comfort from me to fall asleep, but it's very little. A snuggle, a song, and he rolls over and goes to sleep while rubbing my back with his feet. I have never pushed him to comfort himself. He loves to go to bed. He asks to take a nap and to go to sleep at night. He says, "TIRED, mama! TIRED." I have a couple CIO friends and their kids HATE bedtime. They fight it, cry, scream, etc. I really believe if you make nighttime a safe place, with lots of comfort, it is so much healthier for a child.<br><br>
Children will normally learn to self-soothe. Some do it earlier, some later. It will happen naturally.
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Thanks mamas! I appreciate all the words. I think exhaustion takes over and makes you crazy sometimes. DH and I are taking the night in shifts so we can both sleep and both comfort.
 

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I hope I do not offend by saying this, and I know it is common terminology, but to me the very idea of an INFANT "self-soothing" is patently absurd. An infant needing to be soothed by his or her parents is of course normal.
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Again thanks for your kind words. I'm new at this. What do I know.That's what these forums are for, to ask questions and maybe absurd ones.
 

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You mentioned the baby sleeping part of the night in the crib, part of the night with you. Would it make for an easier night for you if the baby co-slept only? My 9 month old ds wakes up alot in the night to eat (he is a HUNGRY boy at night!) and I know I'd get pretty tired having to get up. He rarely cries in the night, its usually just me half-awake getting him latched on and then going back to sleep. I'm lazy that way <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/winky.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Wink"><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol"><br><br>
When my dd was a newborn she needed supplements in addition to nursing and she slept in a bassinet. I constantly was getting up to feed her, soothe her, etc and it made me really worn out. Keeping your babe next to you in bed makes it SOOO much easier! I wish I'd stuck with my instincts from the very beginning with my first baby, rather than trying to force her to sleep somewhere else because that is what people told me to do.<br><br>
Your baby is absolutley normal for needing you in the night! <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="orange big grin">
 

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Another question I had, do you think attachment parented babies take longer to learn to sleep longer night stints?
<br><br>
Um, yeah. The whole philosophy behing AP is that it is NOT normal for an infant to be sleeping through the night and that it is entirely normal for an infant to wake up periodically in the night to nurse.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>glpeppa</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7299519"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Again thanks for your kind words. I'm new at this. What do I know.That's what these forums are for, to ask questions and maybe absurd ones.</div>
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Sorry--I really did not mean your question was absurd. Like I said, I know it is common terminology and I know you did not make it up--this notion that babies should "self-soothe" is all over the place. It's one of my pet peeves. Like maybe they should just learn to drive already and then we won't have to cart these babies around to their doctor's appointments. I swear I was not and am not now trying to be snarky toward you, but rather to the folks who come up with all this stuff in the first place. I'm not positive, but I believe the language "learning to self-soothe" was coined by one of the sleep-training "experts" so they could come up with a new name for good old fashioned CIO.<br><br>
Also, I read something recently on this board that I'd never thought of...nursing is not just for food and comfort but also for HYDRATION! So sometimes when the baby wakes to nurse at night, he/she is thirsty, just like we adults wake up thristy sometimes. Sure enough, I've been noticing for the last several nights that the winter air is SO dry, and I need sips of water several times in the night. Likewise, my DS has been waking frequently for very short nursing sessions and going back to sleep. I bet he is thirsty too!
 

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Try not to worry. This to shall pass. Your child will sleep through at some time, just not now. My son woke about every 2 hours as a babe and BF to get back to sleep. He's now almost 9 years old and he sleeps about 10-11 hours/night without waking up. He didn't sleep though the night till he was about 2 years old. I stopped looking at the clock and that made my mindset change and I felt more refreshed in the morning. I also co-slept with him so that I could sleep while he BF at night.<br><br>
It was tiring, but also a very heart warming and rewarding time. We are still very close and he talks to me about his problems, his thoughts and feelings. I'm positive BF, co-sleeping, being a SAHM and then WAHM, and generally AP'ing him helped to create the great relationship that we have. He's also a very thoughtful and loving big brother now with our DD who's 6.5 mnths (and she to wakes frequently in the night).<br><br>
Warmly,<br><br>
Sheryl
 
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