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I would think about the motives. My guess is that the mom's motive isn't to make her kid look "better" but just to be as healthy as possible. In that case, I wouldn't worry about weight (the outcome.) I would focus on what they do rather than what they see. So start a family health initiative. Invite the kids to make decisions about healthy foods and activities.

I've always struggled myself with this area, and I know that when the focus is on weight, I eat way too much out of stress. The only chance I ever have for change is to focus on gaining a positive (health) rather than losing a negative (weight.) Plus from what I've heard, kids aren't really supposed to lose weight (unless there is a huge problem.) Instead if they are overweight, they should just maintain as their height goes up.

Plus, if you focus on the outcome (weight loss or management) you only have so much control because hormones and many other factors play a part. If you focus on your activity and food, you get to make choices and have control, and can feel empowered by that even if puberty hormones are wrecking havoc on the outcome.

And if the reason isn't health and is instead so her daughter looks better... well then the attitude will carry over and perhaps it doesn't matter what conversation is had. The daughter will get the message.

But like I said, I'm sure the mom is concerned more with health and lifestyle.
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