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ugh. body weight has become such a big issue that we are losing sight of normality in this case.

absolutely as pp said there tends to be weight gain during puberty and even the teens esp. around the waist for girls. wheat belly.

its so hard to figure out the right foods too, as one goes thru different hormones one binges, or eats one thing a lot. so restricting or forcing food issues is not a good thing.

i would say a good way to take care of this - if its even any issues - is to have afterschool activities and keep our kids busy. not necessarily sports or music, but something enjoyable - a hobby.

i definitely would NOT have any conversation with her.

i would check and see does she have a full life. if anything i'd be afraid more of depression than anything else. of boredom.

does she have friends, does she have challenges, does she have a variety of activities or things to choose from.

in other words does she live an enriching life.
 

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Quote:
Originally Posted by AmandaK View Post

I I eat way too much out of stress.
THIS is the reason why teens need to have an enriching life. or else stress makes them eat and feel depressed and before soon its a vicious circle. life is HARD on teens. emotions all over the place. forgetful. hungry at odd times. cant get enough food to eat. constantly eating.

absolutely make sure not too much junk food i the house. reduce it, dont completely take it away. but keep stuff you know the friends over will eat. we have soda and pizza for dd's friends. dd barely eats any and has maybe half a can of soda. she'd rather eat sushi or pho but she doesnt want to be the weird one.

really the time to pay attention to weight is in your early twenties when suddenly you realise if you keep up how you eat you put on that does not leave.
 

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i would like to know what is overeating for a teen? does such a thing exist?

looking back i can see woah how much i ate. i remember the giant meals i COULD eat which by the time i was in my early 20s i could not do any more.

when dd is on her growth spurt she easily out eats me. easily. she has been like that since she was 4 years old. right before her birthday - woah. my food budget goes sky high. i will never hold back food from dd.

instead i do what my mother did. keep healthy food at home so she eats nutritious food - even if its a lot. 10 apples instead of poptart.
 

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Originally Posted by Linda on the move View Post

I think that the advice to not have a conversation is misguided. Obesity is an growing concern -- 18% of teens are obese, and 30% are overweight. The stats just get higher with age, and they increase every year. I think while the potential for this conversation to go terribly wrong is huge, that we as mothers have an obligation to figure out how to talk to our children. All of our children are at risk for becoming obese because the rates just keep going up and up (if the rates of obesity continue to increase they way they currently are, all Americans will be overweight by 2048) http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2008/08/28/will-all-americans-be-fat-in-40-years.aspx
this is where i disagree with ya :) sorta

our children are getting bombarded with weight all around us. as parents we dont need to add any of that. there are tooo many children in my dd's 5th grade class who are fixated on weight (without their parents talking about it). in fact i even ran across a first grader who felt that way. however she wants to be a film actress, is a performer so because of her interest i guess the obesity concern is worse.

i wonder if we did a poll how many children on our board is obese. i dont think we should see all families with the same lens. obesity is a problem with some families - not all. though in my books, being obese and fat are two different things. i think these days obese and fat are becoming synonymous which is not right.

obviously the government doesnt care. if they did at least they would have some afterschool sports programs available for free. the corporations dont care. look at the junk in the guise of food.

i think 80% of our problem can be solved by food. by food i mean the amount of sugar, fat and salt in our system. the 3 biggest items in processed food. if we havent got our children's attention by the teens its already late. not too late, but late and its HARD for anyone to change their food habits.

if your child is brought up with the right nutrition. the concept of nutrition, of balanced diet and then add taste to it then by the teens they are able to do that on their own. not something parent guided but child directed.

and honestly one thing that frustrates me is the notion children are inactive. children are NEVER inactive unless their lifestyle forces them to be and then it becomes a habit. all a child needs is another good friend in the neighborhood and a parent to supervise and gosh they are active all over. but they DO need a friend. that is the key. so if you dont have that you sign them up for an activity. not as a teen, but as a child so that by teens for your child activity is a habit. however if you are poor and or working all the time then you are pretty much screwed. i hate this idea that because u have a backyard, add a few toys and let ur child loose there and they should have a grand time. no that is wrong. they are BORED by themselves (mostly not all kids). instead let them free there with a good friend and THEN they'll have a ball.

at this point of time with OPs child one has to be supersensitive. she is at a very sensitive age. perhaps instead of talking she should focus on doing. together as a family. keep an eye on is the child down, depressed? is she already aware of her belly and feels horrible. if the mom doesnt brign up the conversation sensitively - a no mean task to achieve - she can make things worse.

dd and i have talks on weight and food. not because its the teens, but its something we have always talked about. it is just as much as our conversation as talking about the latest movie we saw.

dd just started middle school. i see what a huge impact it has on her life.

i understand where you are coming from Linda. i get what you are trying to say. recently dd went through allergies which restricted her diet. it had such a HUGE social and thus psychological impact on dd. THAT made me aware of how important it is HOW we talk to our children. and thus i feel instead of talking first ACT. make the changes. dont bring crap in teh house (that is non food packaged in the form of food) and as a family get active if you are not.

i think if you begin with talking - its pointing a finger at the child and saying she is wrong. irresponsible. doesnt know anything. not the right way to start. you gotta first break the habit and then talk.
 

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apparently being overweight and fat is not the same thing anymore. they are making a distinction. in light with Susan what you say.

so this is getting into a realm i am not sure.

i guess fat is body fat and i dont think the tool for measuring that is not accurate for teens.

i guess what matters really is the body fat measurement. but the general assumption is overweight is usually caused by body fat. which is so not true for many families including mine.
 
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