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Hi there! Im going to write this assuming that those who are Christian know what I am talking about in the roles that are ascribed to the Husband and the Wife.<br>
The wife is to be in submission, and husband is supposed to lead the home. However, what do you do when the husband seemingly almost refuses to lead the home?<br>
I have to handle the finances (which honestly, I stink at!). I have managed to have us in the negatives at least once a month the last few months. I have no self control when it comes to money, and I dont like being in control of them because I know this about myself. However, each time the bank goes negative, he gets angry with me, and I tell him, "Honey, I cannot handle the money, you write the checks and I will get them mailed, but I need an allowance!" and he never does it.<br>
Granted, I do need to work on that part of me that goes out of control around money, but at the same time, I feel that hubby should take a more active role in leading our family.<br>
Any suggestions ladies?
 

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Right there with ya! Give him his role in other things, let him lead in other things and then bring it up respectfully. Like "Honey, I was thinking, you should really know where all the money goes, why don't we do this together" and then slowly let him have it. I love crown financial, you can google them. They are a Christian finance Company and maybe you could start there. Looking at their site together. I have been married 15 years. My husband has been saved for 4. He is just now turning into the husband I believe God intended, but quiet love has done wonders. Blessings,
 

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Pray about it!<br>
Also, you could go together to talk to your clergy person.
 

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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>3babies4me</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/7968663"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Hi there! Im going to write this assuming that those who are Christian know what I am talking about in the roles that are ascribed to the Husband and the Wife.<br>
The wife is to be in submission, and husband is supposed to lead the home. However, what do you do when the husband seemingly almost refuses to lead the home?<br>
I have to handle the finances (which honestly, I stink at!). I have managed to have us in the negatives at least once a month the last few months. I have no self control when it comes to money, and I dont like being in control of them because I know this about myself. However, each time the bank goes negative, he gets angry with me, and I tell him, "Honey, I cannot handle the money, you write the checks and I will get them mailed, but I need an allowance!" and he never does it.<br>
Granted, I do need to work on that part of me that goes out of control around money, but at the same time, I feel that hubby should take a more active role in leading our family.<br>
Any suggestions ladies?</div>
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A simple thought is that maybe he's worried he can't do a better job with money than you can and doesn't want to tell you that. I'd suggest you set up an appointment with a budget counselor and both of you go. Having a better understanding of how each of you see money will help your marriage in the long run.
 

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This is not from a perspective of wifely submission, but my husband and I have the same problem. I mess up our finances, ask him to take over for me, and then he fails to do ANYTHING until I take them up again. So no great advice just <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s.<br><br>
My own feeling is that I need to work on myself first. Figure out why I'm so bad with it when I'm a generally organized and responsible person. I realize that I was trying to avoid admitting it was a problem by asking DH to handle it for me, like I'm a child.
 

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he is leading in this area. he is telling you he wants you to do it. He is telling you to be responsible with money because he doesn't want to babysit you and the checkbook. If you don't want to follow and do what he is asking fine but don't refuse to do it and then say it is because he isn't leading.<br><br>
keeping the books and using self control in financial matters is not that hard (from what you said and the way you said it sounds in your case like the money is there and you are just overspending. Icould be reading that wrongthough.) If you need an allowance (since you brought it up) take out the cash you need and put the check book on the shelf (i highly recommend this to everyone actually. check book doesn't leave the house. use it to pay your bills and take out cash for everything else including groceries and kids activities.)<br><br>
and you minght want to join us over on the submitting wives thread. it is a somewhat safer place to hash out these finer points. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/wink1.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="wink1">
 

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"Leading" could be spiritual and doesn't necessarily have to be temporal. I consider the work of the finances to be temporal (worldly).
 
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