[Caneel]

I nosed all around MDC for a potty forum and couldn't find one.

Our 3 year + 2 month old is still in diapers. I realize things need to happen when he is ready and plenty of people tell me their boys were 3.5 yo before they were fully trained but we are going backwards to the point of no potty use at all.

From 2.5 years old until right before his 3rd b-day, he would always go to the potty outside of our home.

At home, he would always go first thing in the morning and sometimes would get up after falling asleep to go pee. Basically, when ever he didn't have something to distract him, he could tell me when he needed to go.

We tried underwear only. He was so excited about underwear and seemed quite proud but still treated the underwear like diapers. Further, recent underwear tries resulted in him peeing all over the furniture.

Am I unreasonable to think he should at least be starting down the potty road? The backsliding concerns me.

Please point me in the right direction if I am in the wrong place.

If this is the right area, suggestions and advice would be so welcome.

 

[lucyem]

I think a lot of the potty training is discussed in toddlers. If it helps my DS was 3 in August and is still in pull-ups.

We are the ignore it and it will happen type of parents. Our older son was always dry at night from a very young age. A 3 day car trip and he potty trained himself to not poop in his diaper at a month shy of 3. The peeing took a little more time. I forget exactly when but by 4 he was all set.

Our present 3 yr old will ask to go poop on the potty. But as for pee, it depends. At school he asks to use the potty. At home if wearing clothing he does not. He wears pull ups all the time. We are moving, tomorrow, and between that and a new school and now switching schools we are totally ignoring it. He gets praise when he uses the potty. We change the pull ups as needed. I have been expecting some sort of back sliding because of the stress but so far none. But it is not uncommon.

Just a thought - when my DS is naked he will use the potty. But in underpants he will pee in them thinking they are his pull ups.

 

[Kabes]

None of my kids potty learned before 3. We worked on it a little but I would get frustrated when I knew they could but were choosing not to. I just told them: "I know you can go tot the potty when you need to. When you are ready I'm putting the underwear in this drawer and you can choose to wear them. Until then, I'll just change your diaper." They middle two went and got their underwear around 3.5. At 3 and 4 months my bro gave underwear to my oldest and told her it was time; it worked and only 1 or 2 accidents ever. The youngest is still in dipes at 26 months. He chooses to poop on the potty about once a month.

 

[BellinghamCrunchie]

Its pretty typical to have some early potty success then go all the way backwards again. Really! Its not something to worry about and it doesn't mean he'll never use the potty again. DD did pretty good at 2.5, lost it completely from 3 to 3.5, and now at 3.75 she hasn't had an accident in about 10 weeks.

 

[madskye]

My DD started using the potty at 18 months, and at 3.5 she was still not potty trained at all--then it just happened over night. I couldn't make it happen, it was just her choice.

I did stop using diapers some time between 3 and 3 and a half--I just made them not an option. I tried to keep potty battles out of it (and failed, because it was so darn frustrating).

In the end, when she was ready to use the potty, she was ready.

I have been told that lots of people have success with throwing a party where the child throws out their leftover diapers, and you have a cake and make a big deal that now they go on the potty and they are BIG. That is probably the only thing we didn't try.

 

[mazajo]

I have a 3yo 2mo DS still in diapers too. Generally he will sit on the potty whenever I take him there, and he will pee, even if he can only squeeze out a couple drops. But he has NEVER once told me that he needed to go. It's just luck if I take him there at a good time. I'm the one being trained, not him! He has never pooped in the potty yet.

I'm only not worried because my now 14yo DS didn't get out of diapers until shortly before his 4th b-day. I tried EVERYTHING and nothing was working. Finally, at the advice of his pediatrician, I completely dropped the issue. Within a couple weeks my DS asked to wear underwear and never once had an accident.

 

[NicaG]

My ds is 3.5 and is also backsliding. For the longest time, he wouldn't poop in the potty, insisted on diapers for that, terrible consipation issues, a real drag. Then we started a chart with stars. Every time he pooped in the potty he got a star, and after 5 stars he got to pick out a small car at the toy store. Worked great! Now he always tells me when he needs to poop, no problem. But lately he will not ever tell me he has to pee. Often I end up carrying him to the potty when he's dancing around. Mostly he just dribbles in his underpants and then says, "do you want to feel my pants?" It's so frustrating. We're going through 3-4 pairs of pants a day. I've started putting him in pullups after the 2nd accident of the day, but he doesn't much care, and I think it's just training him to pee in his pants more. I think maybe I need to start a new star chart. We have a new(ish) baby in the house, and I think ds might be regressing a bit. It's so frustrating, though. I try to stay positive with ds, but I'm so exhausted (from the baby) and tired of the wet pants. It's hard to know what tone to take to convey displeasure yet encourage future attempts, kwim?

 

[jen&james]

I also have a 3.5yr old who refuses to use the potty. I just figure he will do it eventually.

 

[momofPL]

My DS did not potty train until 3 months after his 4th birthday. We tried everything that we could possibly think of and found that none of it worked. We tried underwear, sticker charts, putting him on the toilet ever hour, potty jar etc... We were even told that he should be put into Early Childhood because he was "significantly developmentally delayed" (that's another story) and we should be worried about him not using the bathroom at his age. We worried and worried about it until one day we decided to completely give up and let him decided when it was time. That is exactly what happened. One night in December he decided that it was time and he was trained. He was completely trained day and night too. We have had about 3 accidents since (he is now five) and that is because he was sick. My advice would be to relax and let it happen when he is ready.

 

[mommy68]

Quote:

Originally Posted by madskye My DD started using the potty at 18 months, and at 3.5 she was still not potty trained at all--then it just happened over night. I couldn't make it happen, it was just her choice.ry.

I agree, it just happens. None of my kids learned before the age of 3. My youngest child was the oldest, at 3.5 y o when she finally got completely day trained. It took putting her in a preschool to get her to do it.

She would do it at home but not as well as she did at school among all the other kids who were doing it. I'm not pushing the preschool idea, just sharing how she learned.

 

[Caneel]

I appreciate all the replies and am relieved to hear we aren't the only ones backsliding.

I am ok with his age and I know he needs to be ready to do it but OMG, I am so tired to dealing with diaper struggles.

He fights me so much about changing his diaper. He does not want it changed, period. I can't let him in wet pants because he is very prone to getting nasty rashes.

DH and I talked about it last night and we are going to take a break until the first of the year.

 

[veganf]

3yo is still normal to be in diapers. My second son did potty train at all until 4yrs.3mos.

 

[SeekingSerenity]

Quote:

Originally Posted by Caneel ...but OMG, I am so tired to dealing with diaper struggles.

I hear ya. At this age, a poopy diaper is darn-near adult size. Yuck. My 3y-2m DD goes back and forth... mostly back though. She got a new pink potty and wanted to sit on it, but not actually DO anything in it. Then she decided she didn't want to sit on it at all. She wants diapers. I think that may be partially because baby brother has diapers and she still refers to herself as "the baby."

It'll happen. DS was nearly 4. My mom brags about how me and my sister were both "trained" by 18 months, but geez, they're only babies once. I am personally quite ready to get the toddler out of diapers, but I wasn't even considering it at 18 months! In any case, I guess patience is in order at this age. I can't wait to cut the expense of those size 5 diapies, though!

 

[momofPL]

Quote:

Originally Posted by SeekingSerenity My mom brags about how me and my sister were both "trained" by 18 months, but geez, they're only babies once. I am personally quite ready to get the toddler out of diapers, but I wasn't even considering it at 18 months!

I heard that same thing more than I can count. I personally wondered who was actually trained at that age the child or the parents.