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where do you feel safe?

941 Views 20 Replies 21 Participants Last post by  oregonbound
Just curious to find out where other mamas feel safe? Where would you VBAC if there were no financial/legal/insurance or other constraints? And would you have an OB or a midwife or neither?
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definitely at home. i had my VBAC at home with a midwife. if i were to have a 5th baby i would have it unassisted at home.
I have no financial/legal/insurance constraints.

My VBAC will be at home, hoping in water. I think the constraints are a real burden for so many people on these forums. I also think the whole legal paperwork thing is loony - to have to sign a 12 page document authorizing a cesarean you don't want, in between contractions... So in many ways I am grateful.

My only real issue is midwife: I will get a total stranger knocking on my door after I call the hospital and ask for a midwife to come to my house. Someone who knows nothing of my wishes, desires or borders, nothing of my background, previous birth.... Someone who I have never met and have no idea how we will get along, how many other homebirths she has attended....
I know I would feel UNsafe going to a hospital. for me, the safest place to give birth is in my own home, with a trusted doula.

If you look around, quite often midwives can be found that will work on a sliding scale, or accept some kind of barter, and there are loads of doulas who work on a donation basis. If funds are really the issue, look at it as an investment into the wellbeing of you and your child.

It is really worthwhile to find labour support that you feel comfortable with in advance. dealing wtih strangers in labour rarely helps.

Actually, I did give birth while backpacking around the world, in a tipi, in a forest on a mountain in brazil with a handful of close friends around and no midwife so it didnt cost us anything!
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hospital with an Ob that is committed to a VBAC.
i had no limitations.
i opted for a free standing birth center with a MW that i absolutely loved.

my ins. paid the MW but refused to pay for the BC facility fee. but they woudl have paid tens of thousands for the c/s my ob wanted. i said no thanks.
I would have a HBAC if I could but I can't find someone to legally do it here.
If I had no restrictions, at HOME!!!, not legal in my state after csection. I'd u se the same midwives I have and a doula as well.
If I had no restrictions, if I had the option, I would VBAC in a birthcenter with a midwife and a doula, with a waterbirth. I don't feel comfortable enough at home, plus I would just be too distracted by my kids running around.

However, I do have financial constraints, so I am stuck with a hospital birth with an OB. There are no midwives here, no birthcenter, and very few VBAC friendly OBs. Thankfully I do have a doula, and am switching to a new OB who has the best VBAC friendly-reputation since my other one is going on vacation the day after my due date.
I would birth unassisted at home. But I don't know if I have the ovaries for that.

Originally Posted by logan&jordansmommy
I would have a HBAC if I could but I can't find someone to legally do it here.
I don't know where you live, I am in NY. NJ recently made HBAC illegal. Many midwives in my area are delivering NJ moms in NY hotel rooms or they go to a friend or family member who lives in NY. it still stinks that they can't be in their own homes. other areas of NJ cross over to PA where there are freestanding birth centers.
Most definitely at home. I don't think that the restrictions and rules of a hospital are compatible with safe and comfortable births.
I am most comfortable and safe at home.

I have VBACed in hospital with OB despite my wishes and better judgment to stay home. Thought I couldn't afford a HBAC, but belatedly found out our insurance would have covered homebirth. I didn't ask the right questions enough to the right people and paid the price in a horrible experience at the hospital.

I have HBACed and will do it again. At home I am not threatened and harrassed by nurses and doctors.

So many reasons to birth at home and so many reasons not to birth in hospital. So many reasons to use a MW or UP and so many reasons not to use an OB. I can't even begin to name them all.

ETA: even with constraints I would make HBAC happen- it is that important to me, speaking from experience
I'm not sure.

My instincts and what everyone says tell me that entering the hospital system from the start is not the best way to start down the road towards VBAC.

But the experience I actually had was of being completely unprepared to cope with the medical system when I transferred after two days of hard, unproductive labor at home. I learned that if you ignore the system altogether, you will be stuck trying to figure out what you are up against at the last minute, under difficult circumstances.

I am not pregnant yet but I am tentatively planning to arrange completely parallel care for homebirth and hospital, and decide which to use at the very last possible moment. That way I can have the "know your enemy" advantages of a history of hospital care, and if I do go in it won't be with the mental burden of 'oh no I'm TRANSFERRING because my homebirth FAILED' (which I think contributed to my getting the first c/s) - but I also won't be totally committing to the medical point of view. I am blessed that I can afford to do this.
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I feel safest at home this time, but I will tell you that last time I felt safest at the hospital because I was able to get an entire support team on the same page. We've moved since the last birth and I do not have that support here. Unfortunately, dh is not supportive of a homebirth and I'm scared to death of the hospitals/doctors down here.
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I think it would be neat to have a homebirth with my two midwives. However, they don't do homebirths, so I will still see them and have a natural birth in the hospital alternative birthing room with the jacuzzi tub. It worked very nicely for my VBAC, so I plan for the same next time.
It's most important to me to have the right people around me.
I had a wonderful experience in the hospital, though, and it was nice to have people wait on me and DH the whole time- we enjoyed ordering from the menu and just being able to lounge around and enjoy our new baby

Many of the nurses were certified doulas and some were even LCs, which came in very handy!
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for me, with my prematurity issue and bad habit of preterm labor, i really only feel safe with an OB and a hospital setting. I know full well that if my last hadn't been born in a hosptial that had a NICU to rush him off to, he's probably be dead from not breathing.

BUT, if I didn't have those issues to consider, I'd feel most comfortable with a midwife at home.
I just recently attempted a VBAC with my second son at a hospital in London, UK. For me, my DH's feelings and a "worse case scenario" mind set, led me to make this choice. Towards the end I was really lamenting not trying at home, but I just couldn't get over a 6th sense that the hospital was the place to go. (I didn't make this decision lightly. My first son was birthed in NYC through a horrible hospital experience that ended in what I believe to be a medically induced, unnecessary c-section.)

This second time around I tried for a VBAC with both a doula and a VBAC supportive OB. Without going into too much of the specifics, the baby was posterior, we stalled out at 9 CM's, and after much changing of positions, etc., opted for the c-section because my OB was feeling like labor was going on too long on a stitched uterus. The baby's heart rate was still okay. When we went into the operating theater, the baby's heart rate started dropping. Turns out when he went in to do his cut for the c-section, the OB discovered that my prior scar was in the process of rupturing and my baby's shoulder was coming out through the break. 10 more minutes I might have lost the uterus AND the baby. For me, the hospital was the right decision. I should say that I was single stitched the first time around, and that may have contributed to my scar rupturing. I will never know.

I think maybe WHERE isn't so important as with WHOM. If you can set up a great team at home, with proper protocol for a quick transfer, and you have the mind set to do it, that would be great. Transferring to a hospital in labor is always a drag, and despite having set up a supportive team at the hospital, I did encounter some bullshit. Having said that, I am relieved we were at the hospital.
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Home...always home. It's where I feel safest and more at ease. It's my sanctuary amongst turbulent waters in day-to-day life and it's where I want to welcome my next child into the world, wherever that maybe.

I didn't know better last time...this time I will.
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