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I'm LOSING it. Seriously. Last night, as dd nursed for the hundred millionth minute and I lay there, awake because it's painful enough to keep me awake, and sobbing, because even though I don't want to wean her, I WANT TO WEAN HER, all I could think was I. CAN'T. DO. THIS.<br>
DP is, historically, a really crappy co-parent. He's been amazingly better since I've gotten pregnant, but still, he is not very willing to help at night. I don't think having him deal with dd through the night is a sustainable solution (ie: I'd have to twist his arm. Every time. Every night.) I don't know what to do!!!<br>
My supply is still the pits. I think dd is actually dry nursing some of the time. Her night nursing frequency has increased exponentially since I got pregnant, and she's (finally) getting some of her molars, which isn't helping the sleep situation, I know. I've been drinking buckets of water, and drinking rrl and nettle tea (can't get alfalfa), but I don't see any improvement. I know stress and lack of sleep can both negatively impact supply, but it feels like a vicious circle!<br>
I really don't want to wean her, and I know night weaning would be the beginning of the end. She only nurses down for her nap and usually once in the late afternoon, everything else is at night. But, I seriously was sobbing last night. I can't stand the constant nursing. It's not pleasant and it just feels icky. I also can't stand the lack of sleep. I've been averaging 3-5 hours a night, which isn't enough when all I have to do is deal with a toddler all day, and isn't even halfway close to enough when I'm also growing a human. Awful. Whine, whine, hear me whine. Sorry.<br>
Any ideas? Does the nipple sensitivity ease off at all, as things progress? I feel like, if I could just go back to mostly sleeping through the nursing, maybe things would be a lot better. What to do, what to do.
 

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Honestly, night weaning has saved my sanity. There has been a few nights he almost slept through the night (we are getting molars too). And at 2.5, it seemed like he was pretty ok with it. I just told him we nurse when the sun is up and for a couple of nights, he would wake up and ask if the sun was up and I said no. He would fuss and I would rub his back and give him water and that really seemed to help.<br><br>
We tried when he was 2 and he was not ready. It was hell. So, I felt better when he seemed much more ok with it this time.<br><br>
I am not trying to wean, but I am trying to see if DS will take something else. This morning, he kept wanting to nurse and I handed him my water bottle and obviously was thirsty but not getting any from me. I have also been trying to give him food or water during the day if he wants to nurse. Because my nipples are sensitive and I want to keep what nursing we are doing to be pleasant for both of us.<br><br>
I am just trying to take it day by day.<br><br>
Good luck <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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I'm not breastfeeding yet since this is my first. I just wanted to offer <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2"> That sounds difficult. Perhaps encouraging more nursing during the day could help you to feel better about night weaning? I'm sure you want to give your DD everything you possibly can, but you need your rest and to be healthy for your unborn DD/DS as well. I hope that it gets better for you.
 

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I'm so sorry, mama! i know how it stinks- i'm a WOHM, and my 9 mo has completely reverse-cycled, so she nurses almost exclusively at night.<br><br>
ALSO, when you're pregnant, your estrogen levels are really really high, and estrogen counteracts prolactin production (the milk-production hormone). That's why women who go on estrogen-containing birth control often lose their supply. Anyways, my point is that because of this, many of the galactagogues that normally work don't when your pregnant. Which sucks, as I personally know, because I pump during the day, and pump less and less, and it's so difficult to see that.<br><br>
If you feel you have to night wean, then by all means do it! You have to take care of yourself, too. Here's a site from Dr. Jay Gordon that's supposed to be really good:<br><a href="http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html" target="_blank">http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html</a><br><br>
Just remember that night-weaning does not equal weaning!
 

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Oh, also wanted to add that who knows? I've known mamas who night-weaned, and their babies just upped their nursing during the day. Definitely a possibility!
 

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That sounds awful. I keep waiting for the dreaded nipple pain to hit me, but so far I've been lucky (I suppose that's part of how I was pregnant without knowing). I can't really tell what my supply's doing either.<br>
Night weaning might work for you even w/o help. (cuddling to sleep). I've thought about it myself (husband is perfectly helpful, but my son wants nothing to do with him at night).
 

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Last time around, nightweaning wasn't a really great option for me. DD was a big night (and day) nurser and I just couldn't imagine her reacting well to it. My DH is also pretty useless -- my kids want nothing to do with him at night and he sleeps like a log. I went with the count to 20 technique when it was really bad and I wanted to rip my own head off. She could nurse until I counted to 20, and the speed at which I counted varied with my mental state.<br><br>
I've heard of the no nursing until the sun gets up technique backfiring, particularly in the Summer, because the kid just wakes up with the sun and wants to perma-latch. I prefer to go with a rule about the boobies sleeping or whatever because you can make a better case for the boobies sleeping during the hours that you're in bed.<br><br>
If I recall correctly, it does get somewhat better. I'd have to go back and look at all my bitching posts from my last DDC to confirm the timeline!<br><br>
All I can say it it's so worth it. My kids have no sibling rivalry and DD was hugely helpful to me when I was switching to block feeding and would otherwise have had big engorgement problems. I haven't had a day of nursing trouble since DS was born because I've always had a highly effective nurser on hand who nurses on command instead of only on demand.<br><br>
I was having some trouble earlier in this pregnancy when I still had significant symptoms (I'm in the middle of a missed miscarriage). It's easing off now. I have found this time around that if I tell DS very quietly while he's sleeping that this is his last boobie and that I will put him down after this one (he's a frequent switcher), he's often pretty good about actually rolling off me. You've probably already tried something like that, but just in case.
 

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I'm so sorry. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug"> My milk dried up and Daniel weaned about a month ago (he's three; I'm not sure how old your little one). I've had some kids nurse through pregnancy and some not. In my experience (a) nightweaning is NOT the beginning of the end and (b) I don't feel like the kids who nursed through were somehow more adjusted than the kids who didn't. The biggest advantage was that it helped me when the milk came in.<br><br>
I put a lot of limits on nursing when pregnant. I nightweaned, I would count if I couldn't take it anymore, I would limit nursing to "the nursing chair" in the bedroom. Again, all my kids were past two when I got pregnant again. If they had been younger than two, I would have muscled through, but I was comfortable placing limits once they were past two and I'll admit, I've never been a child-led weaner. I'm more of a respectful, we all need to be happy weaner. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/lol.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="lol">
 

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Aw, that's tough. My philosophy is that its a relationship, and I have to set respectful boundaries in order to make it work for both of us. My body is super sensitive to hormones, and I'm pretty sure that dd has been dry nursing since the middle of week 4. I don't anticipate her weaning in the next 6 months, but of course, every child is different.<br><br>
I hope things get easier for you soon!
 

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I night weaned DD last week. I had too. My nipples are sooo sensitive and I just couldn't sleep while she was nursing and it was starting to irritate me. I used Dr. Jay Gordon's method for the second time and it worked like a charm. I am still nursing her at nap and when she asks, but the sessions are a lot shorter.
 

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If one is going to lose milk and have soreness, does it happen right away? So far (almost 12 weeks today), I seem to still have milk and not really any discomfort. Which partly makes me glad, because my son is only 15 months and still nurses lots. And partly makes me paranoid - I want more symptoms to convince myself that everything's OK. I saw the heartbeat at 10 weeks 6 days, but I'm not going to feel comfortable about this until my appointment at the end of June (which is a pity - I'd like to tell people before then).
 

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<div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>mckittre</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15479125"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">If one is going to lose milk and have soreness, does it happen right away? So far (almost 12 weeks today), I seem to still have milk and not really any discomfort. Which partly makes me glad, because my son is only 15 months and still nurses lots. And partly makes me paranoid - I want more symptoms to convince myself that everything's OK. I saw the heartbeat at 10 weeks 6 days, but I'm not going to feel comfortable about this until my appointment at the end of June (which is a pity - I'd like to tell people before then).</div>
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I still am able to pump 2-3 ounces at a time, but this is wayyy down from what I was pumping before pregnancy. From what I've read, supply for many women really takes a hit around 4-5 months, because around that time the body starts prepping for colostrum.<br><br>
That being said, I probably wouldn't notice my supply change if i wasn't pumping, because dd is only 9 months, still nurses a lot, and on the weekends (when I don't pump) is satisfied with what she gets nursing.<br><br>
Also, my soreness, although intense when it was there, only lasted a few weeks, and now my bbs are back to "normal." Try not to stress, mama!
 

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I'm so sorry, mama, it's so hard.<br><br>
Diego still wakes to nurse most nights, but thankfully only once...I haven't tried to nightwean him 'cause he's so freaking stubborn, I honestly think it's easier to just nurse him <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/redface.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Embarrassment"><br><br>
I think he's on his way to weaning though, 'cause the past 3 days he hasn't nursed at all during the day, only at bedtime and last night he slept through the night! That's the first entire night sleep I've had in over 4 years (they both slept through. amazing)<br><br>
so while I"m not encouraging him to wean, I will throw a party to have my nipples un-sore for the rest of the pregnancy <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Hang in there mama and big hugs!
 

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I know this thread is over a week old but I am new to this board and wanted to bump it up. I am nursing my DD who is 28-months & I am 15 weeks pregnant w/ # 2. I definitely have no plans to wean her but have set limits on nursing and nursing manners and don't think I could have it any other way. I don't think it has had a detrimental effect on her and I think my increased resentment would be worse. I was getting really frustrated with her pinching - esp at nap time - and felt like a snappy, bad mom. I feel like the snapping is more negative than limiting nursing with a 2 year old.<br><br>
I think my supply started dropping early in first tri -- maybe even before I realized. Over a month ago my DD started pinching my breasts. I tried to be gentle about redirection but she is stubborn and had no part of it. One morning I had to leave the bedroom and take space. She was banging the door and it was hard not to go back in but she was with DH and eventually calmed down. Since then she seems to listen better if I say no pinching or all done boobies. Phrasing makes a difference too. If I say "I don't want you to be all done with boobies b/c I know you love them but you know you can't pinch mommy. Your choice." She usually whines and flails but stops. I think the problem is it has become a habit so if she isn't pinching she is patting or twisting her hands in the air and therefore can't settle. This makes naps hard b/c as it is she will only nurse to nap unless she cat-naps in the car. We've been starting naps later so she is extra tired. It throws off bedtime a bit but keeps me more sane.<br><br>
Also, I often get that creepy crawly impatient feeling when nursing -- esp b/c it feels like it does with teething but worse. My guess is that is b/c she keeps sucking when there is no milk there. If she is going to fall asleep I try deep breathing which doesnt work and end up biting my fingers and deep breathing at the same time. When I know it's time bound I can deal but if it's daytime I usually limit it and talk about the next fun thing we will do.<br><br>
Re: night, I think I would be out of my mind if we hadn't nightweaned DD. There is no way I could deal with the constant dry nursing and pawing without sleep. We night-weaned DD slowly over the last 6 months while TTC and I really don't believe that night-weaning=weaning. My DD was a frequent waker and permalatcher and now without nursing at night she happily asks for milk when the light goes on & lolls in bed nursing for up to 45 minutes in the morning. (We have a night light on a timer set for 7 am and before that she gets daddy when it goes on she gets boobies. We have a remote to override it if she and/or daddy need a break or it's after 6 and daddy can't deal.) Now I can enjoy that time more b/c I am not feeling resentful all night. She also nurses b4 & after nap and when I get home on the days I go to work. I wouldn't be surprised if she outlasted #2 b/c w/ her spirited personality she relies heavily on nursing for "laxing" as she calls relaxing.<br><br>
Anyways, I hope this thread stays active as I don't know many people in "real life" who can relate to being pregnant and nursing. I don't share the negative feelings with most people as they'd likely suggest weaning. I think it's so important to have a place to vent and be supported without receiving that kind of advice.<br><br>
Thanks if you read this far!<br>
Erica
 

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A thousand <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/hug.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="hug">s.<br><br><br><div style="margin:20px;margin-top:5px;">
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<div>Originally Posted by <strong>ein328</strong> <a href="/community/forum/post/15477272"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a></div>
<div style="font-style:italic;">Oh, also wanted to add that who knows? I've known mamas who night-weaned, and their babies just upped their nursing during the day. Definitely a possibility!</div>
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This is definitely a possibility.<br><br>
I was determined to go as long without nightweaning as possible and I hit my limit this week. I think my supply is dropping and he was nursing a thousand times a night. I mean, I was doing okay with him waking 4-5 times a night but now it's constant and I'm exhausted.<br><br>
I started Dr. Gordon's method last night and I'm hoping ds is ready enough and it will go well. He's 18 months.<br><br>
My nipples hurt like I can't even explain and I know it's time for us. I too was laying awake because it hurt too bad to sleep through it.<br><br>
Lots of sympathy from me. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/hug2.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="Hug2">
 

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I was going to add that I'm doing this solo too, dh doesn't do night time parenting either, so I'll let you know how it goes!
 

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My 16 month old is a nursing maniac. He nurses to sleep (usually only a couple times at night though), and asks to nurse any time he feels a bit nervous in a new place or situation, etc... Most of the time it's not too bad, but sometimes he has a hard time falling asleep, and does crazy flailing pinching biting scratching nursing for Forever. What makes it worse is that he only nurses on one side. He sort of gradually started refusing the left side, and now it's hopeless - all dried up and he won't take it at all for months.<br><br>
I don't know what to do. Mostly I don't mind too much, except the going to sleep. I'm sure I'll have to nightwean him and move him out of the bed before the new baby comes, but it sounds like a daunting change, and we're super busy with travel and such this summer, so it might not be the best time.
 

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Funny Face -- Good luck. It is so hard to maintain resolve in the middle of the night -- let alone with your baby whom you love so much. From what I know of the Gordon method it involves a timebound period so at least you know you are doing things gradually.<br><br>
Funny face & mckittre -- I feel for you! I can't imagine dealing with the nursing creepy crawlies and dropping supply when my LO was 16 or 18 months and nursing much more often. Maybe your supply takes longer to dry up b/c they nurse more but I imagine when the drop does hit, you & LO are both hit harder. I hope you guys get some reprieve soon.<br><br>
mckittre - the clawing pawing falling asleep is so rough. My DD is older so she can understand the no pinching/scratching rule but obviously doesnt always accept it with ease. I have to say that even with the scraping on the nipples, nothing gets me more than that mauling. Will your LO hold loveys or other things in hand when nursing instead of you (mine generally doesnt but had to ask), or does he respond to simple limits (ie hit, bite, pinch and all done nursing -- for a big enough time period that it sinks in)? I ask b/c it does sound like sleep time is the main time that is really bothersome so maybe if you could find "solutions" for that time you wouldn't have to make any changes to nursing at other times. Also, if you had to change his going to sleep routine that wouldn't mean you had to nightwean him at the same time. It is so hard b/c it's possible much of it is that there isn't enough milk and he's frustrated but there really isn't anything to do about that and that makes that even harder.<br><br>
Hang in there!
 

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My son is 2.5 and still nursing. When I became pregnant this time, I was really worried since he was nursing so much at night still. My supply dropped and he started sleeping better. He gets up only once now. He still nurses several times a day as well. It is becoming a bit uncomfortable. I had to set some limits on the amount of time he nurses now. I can't let him go 40 minutes at a time anymore. It is too uncomfortable.
 

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I need help.<br><br>
I am enormously conflicted about continuing breastfeeding.<br><br>
Emotionally I want to. Physically it's pretty clear that I cannot. At least not at the rate DS is happy with.<br><br>
And I feel so guilty.<br><br>
It has ended up being a situation where DS breastfeeds for a couple of minutes and if he doesn't fall asleep quickly, I have to take him off my breast as I am just going nuts. DH takes over. We have moved the rocking chair into the bedroom and DS will fall asleep on DH in the rocking chair and then resist DH getting back into bed. A couple of seconds on the breast and he usually settles again.<br><br>
But ARG! All of our sleep is all over the place now. And I am getting really angry (I think because I feel guilty).<br><br>
I don't know if it is just kinder to stop altogether rather than have limits of num num for falling asleep, but only a couple of minutes. I just cannot physically tolerate more than that. I have tried distracting myself - I just get more angry.<br><br>
I feel like the issue is my ambivalence about weaning. If I could just make a decision, and stick with it, it would make it easier. The problem is, not weaning is only an option if I can physically handle the breastfeeding - and that limit is very small.<br><br>
Also, I was at LLL yesterday and the leader was a little surprised I am planning on tandem breastfeeding. She spoke from personal experience that it is very hard on the mother..... so now I am rather confused about that choice too. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/help.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="help"><br><br>
Any BTDT mama's here? (I am thinking of crossposting in breastfeeding).
 
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