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<p>Is it a phase? And how do you encourage a LO to move on from that phase already?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thanks!</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thanks!</p>
<p> </p>
whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing
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<p>I have a requirement that after the first 30 seconds or so all whining, tantruming and other unpleasantries must be contained to the offending person's bedroom. that includes daddy. lol.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>obviously ds is the worst offender, but I do think it helps that if one of us gets upset, we will say "I'm feeling irritated, I need to go by by myself for a minute." So he knows when we send him to his room it's not a punishment but just that we don't want to hear it, and he needs time to chill out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Other than that, I'm in the same boat.OBviously there are all the basic preventative measures (napping on time, feeding enough high protein snacks, enough one on one time etc) but beyond that I still find myself hearing a lot of whining.....so.... Maybe someone here has figured out the magic secret!</p>
<p> </p>
<p>obviously ds is the worst offender, but I do think it helps that if one of us gets upset, we will say "I'm feeling irritated, I need to go by by myself for a minute." So he knows when we send him to his room it's not a punishment but just that we don't want to hear it, and he needs time to chill out.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Other than that, I'm in the same boat.OBviously there are all the basic preventative measures (napping on time, feeding enough high protein snacks, enough one on one time etc) but beyond that I still find myself hearing a lot of whining.....so.... Maybe someone here has figured out the magic secret!</p>
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<p>Our magic secret was to introduce Focus Factor for Kids. (a vitamin).</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Short story: DS turned 3 in early October. Very whiny and emotionally "fragile" for the month of November. Was nursing 1-2x/day, and stopped on Tues. Nov. 30. Started taking Focus Factor (it was the only vitamin at our store that had no artificial colors/flavors and no allergens) Mon. Dec 6. in the morning. (along with CLO, which he had previously taken 2-3 times a week). Stopped whining and fussing Monday evening.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Still not sure if it was stopping nursing, or starting the vitamin. Not willing to stop the vitamin intentionally to check. But he is a different child, with respect to the whining and meltdowns.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Short story: DS turned 3 in early October. Very whiny and emotionally "fragile" for the month of November. Was nursing 1-2x/day, and stopped on Tues. Nov. 30. Started taking Focus Factor (it was the only vitamin at our store that had no artificial colors/flavors and no allergens) Mon. Dec 6. in the morning. (along with CLO, which he had previously taken 2-3 times a week). Stopped whining and fussing Monday evening.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Still not sure if it was stopping nursing, or starting the vitamin. Not willing to stop the vitamin intentionally to check. But he is a different child, with respect to the whining and meltdowns.</p>
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<p>If it affects the responses, DD is 21/4 years old.</p>
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<p>We deal with this too. It gets really bad if my DD has had gluten (she reacts strongly to it in lots of ways), but it's still a problem sometimes even when she's gluten-free.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When she starts I ask her if she needs to go find a chair to sit on to calm down or if she is able to stop. She's about 50/50 as to which she picks. Sometimes it will stop right away, other times she will go sit on the chair for a few minutes and calm down. If she chooses to keep whining and not go to the chair, then I take her to the chair and sit with her for a little bit and talk to her about how whining is not an acceptable way to ask for things or to get what you want and when she's ready to ask the way she knows she is supposed to, then she is welcome to get down and ask me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My DD is almost 27 months old BTW.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When she starts I ask her if she needs to go find a chair to sit on to calm down or if she is able to stop. She's about 50/50 as to which she picks. Sometimes it will stop right away, other times she will go sit on the chair for a few minutes and calm down. If she chooses to keep whining and not go to the chair, then I take her to the chair and sit with her for a little bit and talk to her about how whining is not an acceptable way to ask for things or to get what you want and when she's ready to ask the way she knows she is supposed to, then she is welcome to get down and ask me.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>My DD is almost 27 months old BTW.</p>
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<p>Darn it, I was afraid of that. All the good solutions require rational children.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>All your solutions would result in a total meltdown with my dd.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's not whining so much as it is asking for stuff as though it's the end of the world--the first time she asks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>All your solutions would result in a total meltdown with my dd.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's not whining so much as it is asking for stuff as though it's the end of the world--the first time she asks.</p>
<p>Not sure if this is what you are seeing but we instituted a policy of one question. If you ask more than once or whine, the answer is automatically no. If you ask once and politely, it will be considered. Sometimes the answer is yes; sometimes no but whining or continuous questioning get automatic "no"s.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sometimes DS needs a bit of a reminder; "Are you sure you want to ask me again?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Oh, no, no, Mom; I only wanted to ask once." <span><img alt="orngbiggrin.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif"></span><br>
</p>
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>sapphire_chan</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285227/whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing#post_16114648"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>Darn it, I was afraid of that. All the good solutions require rational children.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>All your solutions would result in a total meltdown with my dd.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's not whining so much as it is asking for stuff as though it's the end of the world--the first time she asks.</p>
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<p> </p>
<p>Sometimes DS needs a bit of a reminder; "Are you sure you want to ask me again?"</p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Oh, no, no, Mom; I only wanted to ask once." <span><img alt="orngbiggrin.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/orngbiggrin.gif"></span><br>
</p>
<div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>sapphire_chan</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285227/whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing#post_16114648"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>Darn it, I was afraid of that. All the good solutions require rational children.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>All your solutions would result in a total meltdown with my dd.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's not whining so much as it is asking for stuff as though it's the end of the world--the first time she asks.</p>
</div>
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<p>I've worked with toddlers full-time for the past five years, so I've had my share of whiners! Mostly, I model for them how to ask in a voice I'm willing to respond to: "May I please have some juice?" Or just "Juice, please!" depending on how verbal he is. If the answer is No, I'll tell them when they CAN have juice, or what they can do instead: "You can have juice at lunchtime. Right now you can have some water, or you can help me unload the dishwasher. Which will you choose?" (A bit of a false dichotomy, but it works!) Or, "You know who would love some juice? Baby Rosy (or Dinosaur Bart, or whoever their favorite doll is). (Pause.) Where is Baby Rosy?" I wrote an article about whining on my blog that you could also check out, <a href="http://joyfultoddlers.blogspot.com/2010/10/whining.html" target="_blank">http://joyfultoddlers.blogspot.com/2010/10/whining.html</a> . Let me know if it's inappropriate for me to reference my own blog post here.</p>
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<p>We are in the throes of whiny-land too, so I am super interested to read everyone's responses.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I tell DD many many times a day that, "I can't understand you when you whine. Can you please use your regular voice so that I can understand what you are saying?" In situations where she does use her regular voice (it happens on occasion!) I smile and show her how happy I am and say, "Of COURSE you can have some ice cubes in your water. (or whatever) Thank you so much for asking so politely."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Of course, if she is within about an hour of waking up in the morning or from a nap, tired, hungry, thirsty, doesn't feel well or is teething, then she's going to be super whiny. I keep telling myself that she just doesn't have the emotional maturity yet to be able to internalize the negative feelings she is experiencing. Then we just sit on the couch with a blanket and cuddle and hug and I try to give her a whole lot of undivided attention. Sometimes this works, and sometimes it doesn't.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>I tell DD many many times a day that, "I can't understand you when you whine. Can you please use your regular voice so that I can understand what you are saying?" In situations where she does use her regular voice (it happens on occasion!) I smile and show her how happy I am and say, "Of COURSE you can have some ice cubes in your water. (or whatever) Thank you so much for asking so politely."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Of course, if she is within about an hour of waking up in the morning or from a nap, tired, hungry, thirsty, doesn't feel well or is teething, then she's going to be super whiny. I keep telling myself that she just doesn't have the emotional maturity yet to be able to internalize the negative feelings she is experiencing. Then we just sit on the couch with a blanket and cuddle and hug and I try to give her a whole lot of undivided attention. Sometimes this works, and sometimes it doesn't.</p>
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<p>I'm having a <span><img alt="duh.gif" src="http://files.mothering.com/images/smilies/duh.gif"> moment here. The whining started after going up to the in-laws at Thanksgiving and getting her sleep all messed up. Lousy naps=tired kid=whining dictatorial velcro monster.</span></p>
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160 Posts
<p>I so could have written this post.</p>
<p>Unfortunately for 3.5 year old DD, whining/tantrums are my anger trigger and my worst mom moments come when she whines or tantrums.</p>
<p>It seems lately that almost every request is in a whiny voice. I do usually request her to re-ask in her "big girl" voice and sometimes she does. I also have mini conversations about how if she asks in her regular voice I am more than happy to oblige her and she does not have to whine. I also hate that when I ask her to wait a minute the whining continues and the question is repeated a gazillion times and if I say no then a full on tantrum ensues!</p>
<p>Sorry I am hijacking this post, but I too need help
I feel like all my DD does is cry and whine all day. I hate that she seems so unhappy. She is so very spirited and she has sensory issues and she is very strong-willed. I just do not know how to handle her these days. And I second what the original poster said that some children, like mine, are not rational</p>
<p>Unfortunately for 3.5 year old DD, whining/tantrums are my anger trigger and my worst mom moments come when she whines or tantrums.</p>
<p>It seems lately that almost every request is in a whiny voice. I do usually request her to re-ask in her "big girl" voice and sometimes she does. I also have mini conversations about how if she asks in her regular voice I am more than happy to oblige her and she does not have to whine. I also hate that when I ask her to wait a minute the whining continues and the question is repeated a gazillion times and if I say no then a full on tantrum ensues!</p>
<p>Sorry I am hijacking this post, but I too need help
I feel like all my DD does is cry and whine all day. I hate that she seems so unhappy. She is so very spirited and she has sensory issues and she is very strong-willed. I just do not know how to handle her these days. And I second what the original poster said that some children, like mine, are not rational</p>
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<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>sapphire_chan</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285227/whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing#post_16114648"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>Darn it, I was afraid of that. All the good solutions require rational children.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>All your solutions would result in a total meltdown with my dd.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's not whining so much as it is asking for stuff as though it's the end of the world--the first time she asks.</p>
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<br><br><p>This!!!</p>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>sapphire_chan</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285227/whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing#post_16114648"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>Darn it, I was afraid of that. All the good solutions require rational children.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>All your solutions would result in a total meltdown with my dd.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's not whining so much as it is asking for stuff as though it's the end of the world--the first time she asks.</p>
</div>
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<br><br><p>This!!!</p>
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27,052 Posts
<br><br><div class="quote-container"><span>Quote:</span>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Aliyahsmommy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285227/whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing#post_16127808"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>I so could have written this post.</p>
<p>Unfortunately for 3.5 year old DD, whining/tantrums are my anger trigger and my worst mom moments come when she whines or tantrums.</p>
<p>It seems lately that almost every request is in a whiny voice. I do usually request her to re-ask in her "big girl" voice and sometimes she does. I also have mini conversations about how if she asks in her regular voice I am more than happy to oblige her and she does not have to whine. I also hate that when I ask her to wait a minute the whining continues and the question is repeated a gazillion times and if I say no then a full on tantrum ensues!</p>
<p>Sorry I am hijacking this post, but I too need help I feel like all my DD does is cry and whine all day. I hate that she seems so unhappy. She is so very spirited and she has sensory issues and she is very strong-willed. I just do not know how to handle her these days. And I second what the original poster said that some children, like mine, are not rational</p>
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<p>Is she getting enough sleep? When she's rested, dd can actually repeat things in a better voice, but when she's tired trying to talk to her results in a worse explosion.<br>
</p>
<div class="quote-block">Originally Posted by <strong>Aliyahsmommy</strong> <a href="/community/forum/thread/1285227/whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing#post_16127808"><img alt="View Post" class="inlineimg" src="/community/img/forum/go_quote.gif" style="border:0px solid;"></a><br><br><p>I so could have written this post.</p>
<p>Unfortunately for 3.5 year old DD, whining/tantrums are my anger trigger and my worst mom moments come when she whines or tantrums.</p>
<p>It seems lately that almost every request is in a whiny voice. I do usually request her to re-ask in her "big girl" voice and sometimes she does. I also have mini conversations about how if she asks in her regular voice I am more than happy to oblige her and she does not have to whine. I also hate that when I ask her to wait a minute the whining continues and the question is repeated a gazillion times and if I say no then a full on tantrum ensues!</p>
<p>Sorry I am hijacking this post, but I too need help
I feel like all my DD does is cry and whine all day. I hate that she seems so unhappy. She is so very spirited and she has sensory issues and she is very strong-willed. I just do not know how to handle her these days. And I second what the original poster said that some children, like mine, are not rational</p></div>
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<p>Is she getting enough sleep? When she's rested, dd can actually repeat things in a better voice, but when she's tired trying to talk to her results in a worse explosion.<br>
</p>
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