Mothering Forum banner
1 - 18 of 18 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,313 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So who do you want at your birth?

Is your birth going to be the event of the year, or very private and quite? Who will your birth team be?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
613 Posts
Besides my two midwives, just my husband. I had my mom at my first birth (along with my dh), and wished I hadn't for a number of resons, but felt guilted into letting her be there as she really wanted to. She told my sister and my aunt and uncle, and while I was spread eagle on the bed getting stitches for a tear everyone walked into the room, including my sister's friend who I had never met. This time my mom will be watching my dd, and I will likely be delivering at an out of town hospital, so I doubt I'd have surprise visitors.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
110 Posts
Ooooh Elayne'sMom, hope you have a more private experience this time.

Well, I'll be having a repeat c-section so there's already a crowd in the room! However, I wasn't aware of any of them last time, it felt like just little me in this great vortex of panic! (rainbow babe) We'll have the same as last time, my DH who is basically just there to see his child born, can't really function in that strange overwhelming sort of situation, and my doula, who also happens to be my SIL and a practicing hospital midwife. She is my true support and advocate as she is totally comfortable and informed in that sort of context, she speaks their language, helped me figure out which drugs to ask for (no morphine, etc), kept telling me the baby is alive about 500 times when I just kept asking her, just brilliant! So yeah definitely not quiet and private at all for us!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
19 Posts
Just me and my husband.....AND...unlike last time, when I didn't really know what to expect, I am going to be very proactively selective about who comes to visiting hours after the birth and pretty specific about how long those selected few can stay.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
892 Posts
My DH, doula, midwife, and her assistant at some point, at a freestanding birth center. I kicked my mum out of the room I was getting ready in before my wedding, even though she was my hair dresser, because she was so tense she was stressing me out! Love you mum, but I'll call you after the baby is born. I asked my SIL to be there during my last pregnancy, but I don't think I'll ask her again. I ended up having a miscarriage, so this will be our rainbow baby (crosses fingers), so I know we'll have some fear to work through and having tons of people there won't help. I'm an introvert naturally too.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
270 Posts
I'm planning on just DH & I, my MW and I think she brings her assistant. With my last birth, it was just DH & I and my midwife at a freestanding birth center. DH got to catch the baby and she was totally 100% hands off. It was a fabulous experience. I'd like to have just the three of us, but I understand with a home birth if she'd like an assistant with her to help. I haven't really asked her about it yet. I know she also has some student midwives, and if she asked me, I'd say yes to one of them attending because I plan on going to midwifery school someday and wouldn't mind it. I like her current student anyway.

I have really quick labors, so I'm hoping (just like my other 2 births) that I will go into labor in the middle of the night, and we won't have to worry about the kids. I don't want a sitter for them, but know that my oldest (will be 6) doesn't want to be involved, and I think my youngest (3) will be freaked out. I don't know, hopefully it will work itself out! My SIL could possibly come over and entertain my kiddos if I happened to go into labor during the day.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
175 Posts
Just me, husband, doula and the doctor... (unfortunately I just found out the hospital I will be giving birth at requires doctors present at all births). It's a teaching hospital, so I may have to do with some interns as well. I am counting on the doula to really take charge and be my advocate for quiet and respect.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
451 Posts
Wow, Elayne'sMom, that's crazy! I can't believe the staff let people in while you were getting stitches.

Dh and I were super-private about everything last time, but I think this time my sister will be there too. She really wanted to be there last time but was very nice about it and only asked once. This time, I told her as long as she doesn't mind seeing me poop first, she can watch the baby come out too. :)

And maybe it's because I had such a crazy long labor last time, but honestly I'm not sure I'd have cared who was there at the end because there was no room for anything in my head but the need to push that baby out.

Oh and there's a chance DH *won't* be there this time if baby comes late. But I'm not stressing about that yet.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
130 Posts
Elayne'sMom, that sounds HORRIBLE!

I'm planning on having DH, my MW, her student, my Mom (to take care of my then 3 year old DD), and possibly a friend who is a doula and professional photographer. That's it.

I'm curious though, what have people done in the past with their young children? I asked my MW about it and she said that she has plenty of books and videos that I can borrow to help prepare DD for the birth if I want her there. She said that every family is different and not everyone wants their children present, but that if we want to have her there, then she fully supports that decision as well. I also have the option of having my mother come pick her up and take her to her house (1 hour round trip assuming it's not during rush hour). So that's an option too...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,313 Posts
Discussion Starter · #12 ·
It's going to me, DH, probably the kids (hopefully they're sleeping), a birth photographer and that'll probably be it!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,356 Posts
It will be me, DH, the two midwives...the kids are welcome if they're up for it (DS1 was at the playground with my dear friend when DS2 was born) and there will be someone to be in charge of the kids. Not sure who it will be though.

Definitely not my mom or my MIL. They have too much nervous energy.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
3,109 Posts
Hmmm. Birth is still a long ways away. I'd love to have a family birth... just me and hubby and my little girl.

My Mom is our closest neighbor, a mile away, and if we can find a trustworthy experienced midwife... we plan to "leave her" at my Mom's until/unless we need them.

Then again, if the final ultrasound shows my placental positioning isn't ideal, or perhaps other recognizable complications... perhaps we'll want to be at/near the hospital.

In any case, I plan to have my acupuncturist and rolfer (friends and truly awesome HCPs) on speed-dial, and ask them to come immediately if I need them.

If I decide to plan a hospital birth in the end (we may very well be VBACing twins and my OB is a natural birthers dream come true), then I'll ask the doc's wife to doula for me.

And if there are indeed two babies, I have an experienced postpartum doula/herbalist/midwife to come stay with us...

Heh, I know... lots of choices, lots of variables... lots of water to go under the bridge. I'm letting the Universe unfold this for us and just staying open to possibilities.

The cool part is that my family and HCPs are totally on board with me, however I want to do it. So grateful...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
210 Posts
We're having a home birth. In the area that I will be birthing, I'll have my DH, midwife (2 once the baby is born), my doula, and possibly a midwifery student. I'm thinking of inviting my parents to the house, but I'm not sure that I necessarily want them to be with me in the room with me when I give birth. I still haven't fully decided about my parents because as much as I know they are supportive and could be helpful, I am worried that having them there might stress me out. I suppose I'll see how I feel as I get closer to the date.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
408 Posts
Very, very private. For sure, my midwife and her assistant will be there. I will be having my first vaginal birth in addition to it being a VBAC so I want to feel their presence throughout. She is so incredibly calm and confidence-instilling.

My DH may or may not be present, which he knows. He must be able to be 100% supportive and not distracting, and he knows he might have some difficulty being either. My mom may or may not be present, and her presence will depend on her own anxiety levels (as she's dealing with some very serious personal issues). I would love to have both of them nearby at the least, and I hope they can provide the same support my midwife and her assistant will.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,121 Posts
mamanoish - I also have fast births. My third was born in the middle of the night while my other two slept. It was funny because I was silent during the birth and when the assitant got to the house she was talking REALLY loud. I was tempted to tell her to shush, but we moved out of the hall so she didn't wake the kids.

This time we've already hired a doula. This will be my 5th child and we've never used a doula before. My longest birth was 4 1/2 hours though and she is only at the most 20 minutes from my house and the midwife is 1 hour and 20 minutes away.

So it'll be my DH, the doula and the midwife. I also hope to labor during the night because we don't have anyone to watch the older kids. If it's during the day my husband and the doula will take turns with the kids.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
134 Posts
DH and I, the midwife and her assistant (who will likely be another midwife), then someone to watch DD. I'm not sure who that will be yet, but I want DD at the birth. But I want someone to help her so I don't have to take her potty while i'm in labor....lol.

My DH doesn't want the house to turn into a revolving door, and I think that's a good idea. Originally I wanted a doula too, but I feel that is too many people "cramping" our style. I'm happy with 2 helpers.
 
1 - 18 of 18 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top