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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Tracy is 16 months old nad I've basically always let him decide when he goes to bed. I figure I don't want to force him to sleep if he isn't tired cause then he sleeps worse than he already does!<br><br>
Last night I knew he was sleepy but he just wouldn't crash so I took him into his room, I closed the door, and we got in bed. I was there till he went to sleep...finally!<br><br>
At what point should I be able to say "Ok, lets go to bed!" and for him to say "Ok mommy, lets go!"<br><br>
Or is this something I should done a long time ago. The gals I talk to all the time IRL are always like, "Yeah, I had to make ____ go to bed last night" "Yeah, she "knows" that 7:00 is her bedtime"<br><br>
How early does your toddler go to bed? If I put him to bed early by ds's standards (before 9:00) he sleeps terrible. My mom said that I never went to bed before 9 because of the same thing.....<br><br>
Anyway, what are your toddler's bedtime habits??
 

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I would love for Sam to go to bed before 8:30, but that just isn't going to happen. He prefers to go to bed when we do. Luckily, we turn in early so he is in bed no later than 10pm. Even as an infant he was like this.<br><br>
There have been times when he has gone to bed earlier, but he usually just wakes up at a very early hour and doesn't sleep well.<br><br>
I try not to stress it. The most important thing is that we all get sleep.
 

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My 18 mo DD goes to bed anytime from 8 pm to 10 at latest. Usually, we aim for 9 unless she seems really tired or we are out too late.<br>
When she was younger, say 12-14 mo and was still taking 2 naps a day or more, she would stay up later, 11 pm or so. If she did not , then she would be up at the crack of dawn and I'ld have to fight to get her to sleep earlier. Like most first time Moms I read all of the get your kid to sleep books. I tried desperately to get her to sleep early as they all suggested. It was a huge battle and would take a couple of hours. I decided that I had had enough of trying to conform to some preset standard. We have made bedtime flexible and it's getting better and better.<br>
We have an evening routine. Bath - put on super-stuffed diaper <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"> go to den, nurse a little on one side...time for bed, time to go nite nite. Find a toy to take with us, kiss Daddy if he's lucky, go upstairs to bed. We cosleep so I nurse her to sleep in a few minutes and sneak away when she's gone. She never complains (yet!) and almost always goes to sleep easily. She is not a great sleeper tho and I usually have to go back and nurse in a few hours.<br>
I think I was subconsciously trying to make my kid be like others in my family. My brother's kids go to sleep at 8 and wouldn't dare leave their rooms until 8 am! They lie awake in bed in the morning until it's "o.k." to get up. I could never be that rigid so now on family trips I just nonchalantly LIE DOWN (gasp!) with my kid and NURSE HER to sleep even tho she is TOO OLD for that!!! ha ha ha<br>
We are not so lucky with naps. She will never go to sleep during the day. I have begun putting her in the car and getting her to sleep that way. Many days if we have been out to lunch or errands she will fall asleep. Literally, I don't make it around the block before she's dozed off. She sleeps an average of 2 hours every afternoon.<br>
Good luck! Just keep doing whatever works for you.<br>
 

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I decide when DS goes to sleep.<br><br>
But he doesn`t protest.<img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile"><br><br>
Most evenings he is in bed (with me sitting in a rockingchair next to the toddler bed) around 7-7.30PM. He will be asleep 30 minutes later, if nothing special is happening.<br><br>
If he was to decide for him selv, he would be up very late, getting cranky and sleepy, and being in a terrible mood the next day.<br><br>
I like to let him decide a lot of the things that has to do with him and his body, but it doesn`t work if he gets to decide when to sleep. He still isn`t able to understand how little sleep/late evenings is going to have consecuences (sp?) for the next day.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
LOL...I'm the same way. i lay with tracy till he goes to sleep and then sneak off. He goes to bed anywhere from 9:30-11:30.<br><br>
He resists a nighttime routine. i also read the earlier bed time means better sleep books.....yeah right! The first night it went well. Then the second night he was wise to what was going on.<br><br>
Its nice to know he isn't the only one who is up late. Dh and I are normally up to about 2ish so him being up late and sleeping late works great for us!<br><br>
I just don't like the idea of forcing him to go to bed~
 

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I might start taking notes and see if bedtime influences how she sleeps...some night she does very well, waking only once to nurse. Many nights she is restless.<br>
btw - I am the one that says the magic words "time to go nite nite" but she knows the routine and is prob expecting it.<br><br><br>
For naps at my MIL's she will get tired, bring "Mima" a pillow and get inher lap in the rocking chair and pass out right in the middle of the day. Go figure. It's all about routines I guess.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Hehehe--I say --lets go nite nite-- to ds. He used to wave and go --nigh nigh-- at dh. I thought YAY! He has figured out what nighttime is!<br><br>
Then one afternoon after a nap he comes up to me waving real close to his face saying nigh nigh. It turns out he thought that night night and waving meant it was time to nurse! So he associates those togehter <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="/img/vbsmilies/smilies/rolleyes.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="rolleyes">: At least he stopped putting his hand down my shirt!
 

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I established a "bed time" by watching very closely his beahvior and cues when he was younger and observed that around 8:00 he was cranky and just generally not a happy guy. So, around 730 we start a very lengthy night time routine that tells him that its getting time to go to bed. We take a bath which usually lasts a half hour! He has a snack, listens to his music, reads his stories, says his prayers, and then I nurse him to sleep and put him to bed. He never gets upset and falls asleep very easily. I love this routine in our life, and it allows me to relax for the evening. He is then generally in bed by 830. He has given up his morning nap, and now taking an earlier afternoon nap so I think that I might have to move bedtime earlier. I dont like that idea since that means we have to adjust our evening activites, but he seems to be getting crankier earlier now. Just when you think that you have it figured out.....they go and change!!!!!<br>
LOL
 

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we've never used a clock to determine bedtime. rather we've always used our dds cues and basic common sense according to how the day played out...<br><br>
some nights can get late, but usually it's no big deal.<br><br>
our dds have always pretty much been on the same schedule as my dh and me except for they sleep a little longer, but not much and sometimes seemingly less.<br><br>
we've never really made an issue out of bedtime. they both have only positive feelings about going to bed which i am thankful for.<br><br>
dd1 is 4 yrs and often says when she's tired and ready for bed. dd2 is 2 1/2 yrs and seems to go from 100 mph to 0 so we just have to kind of initiate the bed time thing sometimes. but if she doesn't go to sleep within a few minutes we just try again later. but usually, since we're so in tuned with each other i guess, we really just kind of know when---and again, sometimes it's later than we'd like, but that's okay. the flip side of the late night is that we can sleep in anytime we want to.<br><br>
i strive to keep bedtime as natural and a nonissue as eating, learning and growing.
 

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Since my oldest was about 16 months we started to have a general time when we head to bed....however, if they've had late or long naps or other circumstances, we adjust accordingly. Sometimes I'm exhausted & I lay in bed while the 2 boys run around & play for awhile. If they are overtired, I get them into bed & even if they fuss, they usually fall asleep quite quickly.<br><br>
I've watched a friend of mine be up until after midnight, get up for hours through the night, or be up at 3 am for the day with their 5 year old son. When I hear how tired they are and how difficult that is, I am grateful I set some bedtime boundaries.
 

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Our children both go to bed at 7:30. As 1 year olds, they went to bed at similar times, but a little later for each one. By the age of 18 months, both had bedtimes of 7:30. But let me say that our family schedule is far far earlier all around than yours, and if you were to take the times away, they then sound similar. For example, dh and I go to bed approximately 3 hours after our children. You appear to follow something similar. ds and I awaken at similar times every morning, and dh and dd awaken together about an hour later. This makes sense to me, dd is younger than ds, and thus, she likely needs a little more sleep, while dh is in graduate school, so he often studies at night and sleeps in a little later. Neither child naps at home. I think it's about what works for you as a family, and what works with your future schooling. For example, if you're going to homeschool, it won't matter what his bedtime is because you can work around it. If he goes to traditional school, but it starts later, again, he can probably stay up later, kwim? dh and I both work and leave the house between 6:30 and 7:00 a.m., so you can see why we all go to bed earlier. :LOL It works for us. Your schedule sounds like it works great for you. <img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 

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<br>
Neither of my kids are toddlers, but this might help bring some prespective to the time line we observed in the sleep and routines that our children seemed to thrive best with.<br><br>
We started flexible bedtime routines when our kids were 18 months or so. The time flexed drastically though, depending on how long their naps were, and how busy they were, and how sleepy they seemed. Even still, it was mom or dad deciding, "Its time to go rock for awhile, say goodnight." While before 18 months, it was more like -- baby falls asleep on the couch while we read or watch TV.<br><br>
When they were 3 yo and gave up naps, we started adhereing to a more fixed bedtime, but it was definately based on what we observed their sleep needs to be. Meaning, if bedtime isn't going smoothly, we might try making it 8:00 for a few nights instead of 87:30. But there is still a "set time." I lay with my 3 yo every night until he falls asleep. Takes less than 20 minutes. My older son needs an earlier bedtime during the school year, but he is allowed to read in bed as late as he feels is appropriate. (Before he could read, he listened to story tapes, and I layed with him on request.) And he listens to music while he falls asleep.<br><br>
So right now, both my kids are falling asleep between 7:30 and 8 each night. Though, if either has trouble falling asleep after giving it a real effort, then we let them get up for a little while. It happens very rarely. They have busy days and go to bed readily and happily at night.
 

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we did establish bedtime here. Its not 8:30 on the nose, but between 8:30 and 8:45 Zoey (now 3) is told "its time to get ready for bed now". Dad, myself or teenage big sister help her get into her jammies, brush teeth and wash hands and face. Then we get a small cup of something to drink.<br><br>
one of us (sometimes all of us) climb into her bed (mattress on the floor in her room) and say our prayers and snuggle till she falls asleep. sometimes one or more of us take a nap or even crash for the night with her. other times we get up and she sleeps in there for a while. when she wakes at 2 or 3am she joins us in our big bed in our room.<br><br>
we've been doing the bedtime routine since she was about 18mos and if she's having a hard time obviously we dont' push it but generally speaking around that time is when she's tired so thats when we do bedtime.<br><br><img alt="" class="inlineimg" src="http://www.mothering.com/discussions/images/smilies/smile.gif" style="border:0px solid;" title="smile">
 
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