who has surprised you by supporting your parenting style?

623 Views 14 Replies 14 Participants Last post by Jade2561, Jun 25, 2005

akmbloom

Discussion Starter · Jun 16, 2005

2

Last weekend my godmother came over to my parents' house - I love her dearly, but I would have thought that she would be one of the people who say things to me like, "ugh, cloth diapers seem like so much work!" and "what do you mean the baby sleeps with you??" but she totally wasn't! She applauded my breastfeeding in front of her & my godfather (they're married) and said never to let anyone tell me not to hold my baby. She said that she personally wouldn't cloth diaper (because she said she's too lazy

) but then she offered to buy me more dipes and covers, whatever I need. I was so happy to know I have another ally in the family...

Some of my friends, though, who would be considered "crunchy" by any other standards, but who do not have kids of their own, have thought CDs and slings and such were really weird...they didn't understand why I just didn't plop the baby in the "baby bucket" and have my hands free, and they thought CDs would involve dealing with poop much more frequently (um, you pretty have to deal with it one way or another and sposies seem just as poopy to me). One 22-year-old guy aquaintance, though, thought the sling was really cool and said that my DD made him want to have kids of his own!

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alegna

· #2 · Jun 16, 2005

2

My MIL! Totally shocked me... in a good way! I think I started winning her over by inviting her to the homebirth (no one has involved her at all in the births of her other grandchildren- this was the first birth she ever saw...) Then she's been super supportive about breastfeeding ("they told us formula was just as good

we didn't know any better... it would have been so much easier to breastfeed...." (twins too!) ) AND my SIL thinks nothing of leaving her babies with people for extended periods (over night and for a day or two starting at a week old!) MIL said she thinks babies belong with mom

The lady is growing on me!

AND she's started asking my advice about stuff....

-Angela

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nikirj

· #3 · Jun 16, 2005

Since DH and I were both raised in AP/NFL type families, I'm not surprised that our immediate families have only positive things to say about *most* of our parenting choices.

I was surprised when a cousin of mine, whom I'd always thought of as pretty self-involved and who seems quite caught up on image, stood up for my cosleeping/EBF when some other extended family members started playing the 'independence' card. Said babies need lots of love and contact and security to grow up happy and healthy.

ctdoula

· #4 · Jun 16, 2005

My husband!! He's the most pro-breastfeeding, co-sleeping, cloth diapering man I know! It's amazing. He has never read a parenting book in his life & wasn't raised in an AP envronment (nor was I). He just listens to his heart.

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mommyto2

· #5 · Jun 17, 2005

My MIL!! She is basically an obstacle in my life. But after dd2's christening when dd1 was acting up, she was the one who said "she has always been behaved when I have been here. Dawn does a really great job with her". In front of my sister!! She approves!! First time! She wanted to watch me breastfeed dd1 (before it ended) because she never breastfed hers. It just wasn't done then. She loved that I CD'ed dd1. Other than being apparently a good mother, I can do nothing right. I think she is letting up tough since I have great kids!!

LoveChild421

· #6 · Jun 17, 2005

First I was surprised at just how supportive dp is- I knew he didn't have any objections to homebirthing, BF, co-sleeping, etc, but he has become such an outspoken NFL advocate- his Dad asked him if we had given Grey formula "yet" and Matt was like "No, Dad there is no need for formula, BF is going just fine!"

Also, my mom and my grandmother have surprised me at how supportive they are of BF (Grandma never BF, mom only BF me for 6 weeks)- my Grandma even bought me a pump! My mom loves to watch me BF ds. They also are very AP without realizing it! They think babies should sleep in the same room as the parents and that no one should ever just let babies cry it out!

My Dad has surprised me by being really positive about homebirth (he has always hated Dr.s anyway and said he felt like they treated my mom and him like crap when she was in the hospital having my sister and me). He also supports no-vax since he has read some about increasing autism and other disorders and thimerosal.

My aunt even said she wishes she could have had her babies at home!

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mother culture

· #7 · Jun 17, 2005

The owner of the local pizza parlor who raved about breastfeeding and having your children at home! He was about 55!

dumpsterdivamama

· #8 · Jun 18, 2005

My mom has been my #1 supporter in my choices. She didn't bf us, even though we grew up in the Virgin Islands, where bfing was the norm among the native VIers... She still "listened" to the US/western garbage about formula, and decided not to BF. Anyway, she has been sooooooooooooo awesome, supporting me 100% in our decisions, she couldn't be more supportive of my choice to bf, especially with dd1, where it was *very* difficult at first. She never told me anything but "don't give up".

She's the best. Oh, and after being with me as my support person for my first dd's birth, she decided to become a doula!!

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akmbloom

Discussion Starter · #9 · Jun 21, 2005

I have more to add - I went on vacation with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins this past weekend (who could pass up an all-expenses paid va-k?) and I was really amazed at how supportive my extended family was of breastfeeding, co-sleeping, etc (my mom and sis and close family are all pretty crunchy and never question my parenting choices).... they seemed to think that my 2.5 mo dd was so good-natured and content and happy and chubby and beautiful because we've been parenting her like this. I thought one of my aunts would be critical - she's very mainstream - but she was wonderfully supportive, thought my sling was great and my boppy pillow too - and told me she would've breastfed if she only could have gotten decent help. I learned, too, that she insisted on a VBAC with her second child when the doctor wanted to do a c-section for "convenience"!

kater07

· #10 · Jun 21, 2005

I have been shocked and delighted by my ILs support of our parenting style! I don't know what I expected, but it's thrilling to know they support us 100% (or at least they act like they do

).

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Kateana

· #11 · Jun 24, 2005

DH... He was originally leaving most of the decisions up to me, b/c I was reading about parenting a couple years before we conceived. He was on board for most things I suggested, but occasionally would say things like, "Baby sleeping in our room is ok, but not in the bed," "there's nothing wrong with a little CIO." Or my favorite, "I want to circ b/c most ppl do!" Over time he has started reading more (due to HUGE guilt trips on my part, but the end justified the means!) about all AP issues, and has come full circle, to the point of getting angry at others' UNnatural parenting.

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elmh23

· #12 · Jun 24, 2005

My aunt suprised me the most. She lives in another state and we went up there to visit her over Memorial Day weekend. Before the visit, we were talking and she said she'd give us her bed and take the guest bed because there were three of us and only one of her. Now maybe my mom told her we co-sleep but I doubt it. Then when we go there, she looked at Sarah's cloth diapered bum and stated "I wondered if you used real diapers." I was so happy to see someone refer to them as real. Normally, people just give me looks, lol.

I was really suprised by the visit because usally my aunt isn't as supportive of things.

allgirls

· #13 · Jun 25, 2005

Everybody...nearly....I have gotten a lot of questions but not a lot of negativity.

even MIL has taken to saying proudly "Sophia is still nursing" and telling her nieces to call me because she "reads so much and knows all about babies and how they do things these days"

I have gotten better reactions this time than with my first 2 just because hubby is so on board as well...

as to cloth diapers...nothing but positives...and a lot of questions...I think people think they are complicated which they are not.

Home birthing...one cousin told me she had heard of a baby who was born at home that died...she works in a hospital that just had an infection outbreak...I think she was being defensive because I said homebirth was safer than hospital especially these days...oops..not really sensitive(though absolutely true)..it was rather insensitive on her part.

Other than that it's been incredibly good...I guess there is not a lot to say when you see a happy, well loved, well adjusted toddler with two parents who are still very much in love and affectionate.

Proof is always in the pudding!

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~Megan~

· #14 · Jun 25, 2005

My kiddo isn't a baby anymore but I'll answer anyway.

My mom has been really supportive and when she's not she either keeps her mouth shut or is willing to listen.

She was even with me on not vaxing!

Jade2561

· #15 · Jun 25, 2005

My mom has supported me a lot more than I expected. She thinks it's great that we EBF, cloth diaper, and co-sleep. She even supported me when I decided to stop vaxxing (she was the coordinator for immunization education at WIC for 7 years, so was BIG TIME vax supporter). She says she brags about what a savvy momma I am. I love her!

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