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I'm planning on only having my DH, midwife, midwife's assistant, and my doula (who is also my favorite aunt).

My dad (a firefighter) is DYING to be there but he's also trying to be non-pushy about it, lol. We're really close but I just can't imagine walking around naked in front of my dad. Plus he's not just one person - it would also be his wife and maybe their two kids. I love them all, but I feel like that constitutes a crowd. So I think instead we'll just call him right after the birth and they can start driving over (2 hour drive, so we'll have some baby-bonding time of our own before they arrive). I also have a younger friend who is pining for an invite to the birth but again, that's just too many people. (Plus, she isn't mature enough to be there. She'd be stressed the whole time.)

There's a definite part of me that wants a private, unattended birth - just me and my hubby. But when the time comes I think I'll feel better about having our midwife present, and that necessitates including her assistant. So might as well invite my doula too, and bring the people count up to 4. At least everyone will have a specific function. Nobody will be just standing around in the way, and everyone there has experience with birth so they won't be stressing out.

Who have you invited to be at your birth? Have you had to tell anyone no? What number of people is comfortable for you?
 

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When I had my son it was dh, the OB, a nurse, my mom, and my grandma.

This time it will be dh, midwife (and possibly her assistant), my mom, possibly Jevin, and a friend to take pics cause I want better pics. My pics from last time SUCK! LOL
This is all tentative of course. It's at my house so I can always leave them to congregate in the living room while we go into my bedroom (where I have my bed and the pool is gonna be set up as well and we have a bathroom and everything we need.)
 

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the boy, the midwives and me (of course!). k will stay with us as long as i feel comfortable, but then will head off for a super special slumber party with her grandparents.
i'd like someone with good photography experience to take pics of the birth so i don't tie a up with that duty, but we can't afford a professional and the only person i know well enough to feel comfortable at my birth and is a wonderful photographer is my mother's best friend and my mom would FREAK if she got to be there and my mom didn't. and, while i know this is MY child's birth and i have the say in everything, that is SO not a road i want to go down.
 

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I am going to have my hunny and the midwives/nurses on the maternity floor at the hospital i am going to. kids r going to my mums. she was there for nick. got there just intime to hear connor cry for the first time and this time i REALLY need her to watch those 2.
 

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Homebirth 2001
First time I wanted a good ole party at our homebirth and had:
My grandmother (who has 10 kids, but had twighlight sleep for all and never saw a birth!)
My mom (Who always wanted a homebirth, but only had one kid... me!)
My MIL (Who gave birth 28 years earlier to my DH on the same day!)
My SIL (who was healing from a 1st trimester loss and really had a spiritual experience watching her nephew born)
There was SO much healing and clearing being done by the peanut gallery. It was pretty intense for them!
Then, we had the MW & her Asst.

Homebirth 2004 OMG, that was just last year, what the heck was I THINKING getting knocked up again!?!?!

We wanted a quieter birth & made plans to have my mother take Jude out of the house but somehow she managed to convince herself that she should stay in our house with him. I really need to make sure she knows to leave no matter what this time Ug. She came into our room where we were bonding with Cicely about 3 minutes after we were all by ourselves. Ug. Ug. Ug. I need her gone. (read moody pregnant woman typing here!)
MW and doula were there are well (I had trouble with their presence, too so they stayed out of my way for the 45 minutes they were there before Cicely was born)

Homebirth 2005
I KNOW I'll be there.
I want DH there.
DH will call MW, but she knows to be downstairs and being quiet. I'll call her up if/when we need her.

One more birth and I'll just conceive the thing and birth it by myself.
 

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The first birth...only DH and until about 4-5 minutes before DS was born and then
3-4 OB/NICU nurses
an OB
a neo and perinatologist
and
several enlisted medical technicians (it was a military medical center). I was on my side birthing in a regular bed and the guy that helped hold my top leg all of the way up to my head was a male 21 year old army specialist.

This time
DH
our son
midwife
her assistant
hopefully my mom

BUT...I want to be left alone unless I call for them to join me or come in.

My husband really wants his parents there but I do not want them there until after the birth. MIL maybe, not FIL. They are not comfortable with nudity in any form or seeing me breastfeed. I will NOT even begin to accomodate that.
 

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dh and mw - possibly a nurse as well, i'm not sure...i want just 1 person other than dh there. but i do need that other person bc dh is clueless. LMAO!! sweet and marvelous and thoughtful but clueless.
 

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Jake's birth: lots of people "here" (as in here at the house) - my mom, my sister and her husband, my neice, my brother and his wife, my mother and father in law, of course dh, midwife and assistant. For most of my labor, I was all over the house and enjoyed having everyone there. When transition came, I went into my bedroom and closed the door and got in the tub - with just dh and my sister. Then when it came time to push, we asked midwife and asst to come in but that was it. I know my mom had her feelings hurt, but I just didnt want her in there at that point. As soon as Jake was born, we opened the door and invited everyone in.

This time: I'm thinking I'm ok with my mom and mother in law being in the room with me when I'm pushing - but the rule is: no sounds - no talking, no crying, no heavy sighs, nothing. If they can't live with that, Scotty will ask them to step out. And of course Scotty will be in with me - and my sister. And all the other people will be here in the house again but not right with me. And I don't know about Jake - I'm just going to play it by ear and see how he does. There will be plenty of people to keep him busy / take him outside to play / whatever.

My sister took pictures and video last time and did a great job, but I sort of feel like she wasn't able to really be a part of the experience since she was busy doing that - so I'm thinking of asking someone else to do it this time.
 

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Quote:

Originally Posted by Spark
Homebirth 2004 OMG, that was just last year, what the heck was I THINKING getting knocked up again!?!?!

I hear ya on that. I think we're crazy!!

For my 1st- it was supposed to be me (duh), DH, doula, midwife & asst, best friend, SIL. Butthen I got transferred to the hospital and who knows who all was in the room. Best friend and SIL weren't there were to many nurses, etc and a smallish room.

This time, I guess the original plan is the same with DH, doula, midwife & assistant. SIL will probably be there because she will have dd, but I don't know if they will be in the room or not. best friend may or may not, depends on when baby comes (she's going away for a week) and how i feel.
 

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I just moved to NH, and we're staying with friends for the next couple months, so it will be me, my husband, our two friends, and a friend of theirs (an EMT). The friend and the EMT friend will be downstairs, just hanging out, though. I plan on it just being me, dh, and the baby around for the actual birth.
 

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First birth:

Me, DH, the doula, the cnm, the labor nurse and about 8-10 people in the room whose role was never explained to me. (I arrived at the hospital pushing, the only pulse they could find --mine -- was too low for comfort, I think some alarm got pushed. They all disappeared pretty quickly after the birth.)

This birth:

Me, DH, 2 midwives and an apprentice, and maybe DD. I've made arrangements to have someone come get her if I need her gone or if she wants to leave. So far she says she wants to be there.
 

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At this birth there will be DH, DS and the mw and nurse? We are having the baby at the birth center so whoever they have there to do monitering, or whatever. I would LOVE to have my mommy there. She flew in a couple hours after we went to the hospital and was there for the birth, she even got to cut the cord.
But, it was a fluke thing that she made it there in time, considering that it is a 6 hour flight, with 1 hour layover, and the air port is about an hour away. PLUS the flights only leave my home town twice a day. But I was suppose to be induced on Wed, so she had a plane ticket to fly in that day, but I went into labor on Tue, had DS on Thurs.

This time, if anyone extra will be there it would be my MIL and 2 BILs (both are in high school). If I go late then they will be there, which will be nice because they can watch DS but they won't be allowed in the room with me. They would stay in the visitors area.
 

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When I go into labor, we will be going to my mom's house (5 min. from the hospital) until we feel the need to go to the hospital. So, my mom will know, BUT she and my little brother are on strict orders to high tail it out of there. Noone is to be in the house but Dh and me. If we feel comfortable, the baby will be born there. Otherwise, when I feel the need to transfer, we will head to the hospital and deal with the Dr.s and nurses there. We will not be calling ANYONE besides my doula and the picture-taker/backup doula.

If we are induced, we will have the doula, back-up doula, and assorted hospital personnel. I will have a strict "no incoming calls" order in. I DO NOT want anyone there until I choose it is time. I may make an allowance for the doulas, or I just may have them call my cell phone. I want to be able to bond with baby (and DH!!), and start our little family quietly without gawkers and talkers
. Since the baby will be born around Christmas-time, there will be plenty of opportunity to see him besides just at the hospital.

From my experience as a doula, family tends to get really competitive over who will be in the room when Mom delivers. My mom and I don't have a great relationship, and I don't want to be tense during labor. I would really like MIL to be there for the birth, since I am her only "daughter," and she used to work with midwives (although, I don't think she ever attended a birth). I know I would feel comfortable with her there, but if my mom ever found out, she would freak! Ah well, we will get to that when the time gets closer
 

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In our birthing room will be me(obviously!), DH, my mom, MIL, my 2 sisters and DH 3 sisters! - however two of our sisters might not be in town.. so we'll see! Oh and I suppose the midwife and nurses will be in and out too!
I'm looking forward to sharing this special and exciting time with everyone!
I feel honored that I got to see the birth of my 4 nieces and nephews and couldn't imagine keeping that joy all to myself!!
 
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