[toyarmy]

dd1 is 7.

for .... i dont know how long.. shes been whining, about anything from "noone cares about me" because they dont stop brushing their teeth to fix her a bowl of cereal, to throwing a fit because she has to wait for a desert because im nursing the baby.

i probably sound pretty negative and upset. having two children wide awake at 10pm will do that to you. but really, im not always like this. i really try to be understanding and empathetic, but ungreatfulness is a hard thing to tolerate for me.

whats the problem? why has my 7 yo lost all concepts of patience and gratitude?

 

[library lady]

I have a 7 yo DD that does the same thing. I have found that she usually does this when she needs to reconnect with me. When I notice her getting like that, I try to set aside some special time for just her without her sisters or anybody else interfering. Other times, I have had to sit her down and simply tell her that her behavior is not acceptable. If she needs my attention, then she needs to ask for it. She is getting better about verbalizing her needs. My DD can be logical when she wants to be so we try to discuss her feelings and needs in a very logical and matter of fact manner. In talking about her needs, we also discuss mommy's needs and how we have to work together to accomplish things.

I had to laugh at the cereal incident because my 7yo does that to me even though she knows her way around the kitchen and is very capable of fixing her own food when it is stuff like toast or cereal.

 

[TwinsTwicePlusTwo]

My 7yo daughter acts the EXACT same way sometimes. I admit, I have absolutely no patience for it. 7 is more than old enough to wait for me to finish something before fixing her lunch without throwing a fit. She does the whole 'no-one loves me' hysterical thing too. My solution is that if she doesn't ask nicely and, if necessary, wait nicely, then she doesn't get what she wants, even if it's lunch (missing a meal won't kill her, though the way she screams you'd certainly think someone was killing her). I'm very consistent with this, and she usually asks and waits nicely now.

As for why she acts like this, it's just attention seeking and, imo, shouldn't be rewarded.

 

[Peacemamalove]

My DS acts this way too..Sometimes when he needs some extra mommy time,sometimes when he just isn't getting his way. The life of a 7 year old is tough .

 

[babyj]

Totally normal for 7! Can you believe it?

I just finished reading "Your Seven Year Old - Life in a minor key" by Louise Bates Ames. It was so helpful in understanding DS that I made DH read it too. I got it from my library. While it doesn't offer solutions, it does discuss in great detail what is normal for age 7 and how the brain is chaning and turning inward. It helps the way I relate to DS and while I can't say life is easy, I am much more sympathetic towards him.

I highly recommend it.

bj